My 25 year old SON hates ME .. and won't SPEAK to ME?? What would you DO?

We had this happen about 5 or 6 yrs ago with our son. He and his dad had an argument that went a bit to far. We all lived on the same property, and this fight caused him to move out. They/we didn't talk for almost a year. Now we get along great, have family time together. Yes, give him time to think about what he is saying, and hopfully he will come around. Sometimes we all just need a little space, to cool off, and be mature about it. It's to bad you don't know exactly what was said by his sister to be anger with you. That would help you know what it is that is upsetting him.

Ignore him, its his loss and when he realizes that you aren't hurt (well, I know you are, but don't act like it hurts) he'll get over it. One day he'll just walk in like nothing happened. And, if you are really lucky, he might even say he's sorry some day - don't hold your breath!

I would really try to find out what it all stems from and what he is so upset over. There has to be something if you were as close as you say. I would keep trying and maybe send him a letter and tell him how you feel. That is about all you can do, if he refuses to talk with you.

I would give him his space. There is nothing you can do at this point to change his mind. You may want to tell him your sorry for whatever you did and that you love him. But after that, there probably is not much you can do. Just wait. And you are right...with time, he should let his anger slide away. After all, if you two had such a good relationship before...he will not go too long.

How old is he now? If he is a teenager, this will pass. It's normal for teens to have these "I don't like you" spirity. Relax texasclassygal! :)

I think he is just going through a phase I went through something similar with my mom and now I don't know what I would do if i couldn't talk to her every day

First I would be devastated! I have a 19 year old son and would be sick if he ever stopped talking to me. Once he did say he hated me under his breath and I blew a fuse, I went totally off my rocker at him. Within one hour I had a note from him apologizing profusely! That is the only time he has ever done that. I have no right answer when it comes to a 25 year old and you don't even know why he won't talk to you or why he says these things. I am a very extroverted person and I must have closure for everything so I am sure I would be bugging him with letters, emails, and talking to his friends until I got him to talk to me again. Or you can try to ignore it all and let him come to you, it would depend on your personalitiy.

I think as stated before there isnt rally anything you can do but wait, I know its a horrible place to be but I do think as people mature they stop with the little things and focus on the big ones!

I can't imagine how you feel. My son is in his early teens and he gets frustrated and angry with me, but has never said I hate you. If I were you after I had a long cry. I would maybe write him a letter expressing my feelings and my hurt. Then I would just wait for him to come to me. Hopefully with time and maturity he will come back to you and work on your relationship.

I think that you should just act like nothing is wrong at all, pretend that you do not notice that he is acting the way he is. I think that may help some, also try to find out what it is he is mad about if you can, that may help you to get things resolved faster. And try to get his sister to tell you what it was they had an argument over, maybe she told him he was adopted or something. You never can really tell what will make someone mad.

AT 25 telling your Mother you hate her. Must have been a very painful argument. Time heals all wounds. I do hope it works out for the both of you. Time is to short on earth for hatred. So remember time heal all wounds, and it should be done within a short time.

as a parent , i think the most inportant thing is to establish the truth between you and your child , that means , parents and children must believe in each other , and the second is to find out the reason why he doesn't understand you ,and solve the problem as soon as possible.

Just because someone is your blood does not mean you have to take abuse from them. It doesn't even mean you have to necessarily like them. People are individuals and offspring or not, they have the same opportunity as anyone else to earn your respect and love. If they choose not to, then that is their choice. Concentrate on looking after yourself instead of beating yourself up emotionally over something that is out of your control. Don't push things and if it is meant to happen, he will come around.

I'm a mother of three kids,if i were in your shoes that will make me very sad.I can't imagine one of my kids not going to talk to me for four months, and calling me on my first name,but being a mother you should try to understand your son even if it hurts.He is old enough to know the right thing to do, you've done your best ,so all you can do is wait till he is the one who will talk to you.You had the best mother and son relationship, i am sure he misses that but hard to accept it.Time will definitely heal and one day you will wake up he is there asking your forgiveness...

Well I dont know what to do I would talke to your daughter and see if she can find out why he is mad at you and saying he hates you. Maybe she can find out for you then once you know what the problem is you can start to address it seperatly with out him noticing it, or then when he does talk and says he hates you maybe you can address it with him then

Sad to hear it texasclassygal,maybe your son is bearing some grudges towards you,this matter should have settled earlier but unfortunately it has been four months already.you are a mother and he should respect you and give care to you,but instead he is even calling you your first name,matter that something unrespectful as a son to a mother, Ok, may I advice you some words: Pretend you don't mind him,don't show to him that you are so much worried about what's happening between you and him,but silently you will observe him,if he is breaking an arguments or he is calling you just ignore him showing that you are so much in sorrow for what's happening.sometimes we,mothers have to perform some play just to get the attention of our children,he is now big and he is thinking that you are alrady out of his life but it's not right.as long as we are living in this world the tie bonding between parents and children exists.Wait for the time to come that he will be the one who will come to you and talk in a nice manner.make him feel that you are the mother who gave him love and care when he came out of this world.

I think you have to do what I need to do with my son and that is distance yourself. Don't keep trying to make contact. Let him cool off from what ever is bothering him and he will eventually come around. Is he living with you?

I am in this situation, I have 3 daughters and only one speaks to me. This has been going on ever since i and their father got divorced in 1999. They were both teenages then and so stayed living with their father and only one daughter came to live with me. I thought they would grow out of hateing me ... but they havent... Time doesnt always heal things...

try talking to him and if does not work go and talk with his sister and find out what happened there that made him so upset you said you have a close relationship with him he was surely emotionally hurt from you try and talk with your daughter maybe things will clear up when when you talk to her and find the reason

The only person who knows the reason behind such treatment is your son himself. Try to talk to your son. I believe at his age he should be able to carry a mature conversation with you, being his mom at that. But if your son refuses to do so, give him time and space and try to observe his behavior in the next few days. also be mindful of your own behavior towards him, so as not to aggravate his anger or at least the situation. who knows, maybe one day he will even be the one to approach you and explain what happened. You may also try to talk to your daughter since you mentioned your son had an argument with her. she might just have an idea why your son is acting like that. or you can for her help in getting your son to speak up. with so little information, it makes me wonder how your son can suddenly hate you, and it is just impossible to happen if for no apparent reason. is there any secret you kept from him that he may have discovered? Anything you told or discussed with someone else that he may have found out and hurt his feelings? sometimes little truths may hurt a lot, no matter how trivial it may seem to us. also try to recall any situation or something you unintentionally did which may have embarrassed him or hurt him. lastly, if there is one person who knows your son best, it is you. knowing him and how he reacts to certain things might just give you a clue about his sudden, unexpected behavior towards you. goodluck!