he and "he"

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i back from school.. sit in front comp think to write something bout my current feel.. i think to drop a post in friendster at the first, but there is too dangerous for me to drop down there cos its easy for my friend to find out all my things, so call secret.. after write a mail for my dearest her.. i just found out tat wat we worry and wat we think it is problem, for her is just nothing... mayb i m thinking too much.. haiz haiz haiz.. gals are really emotional.. actually there is nothing happen and also there is no more interative with "them", but sometime i still will feel hard with "them".. i m listening some song which call "sad song".. i m thinking some things which call "too much" feel hard when doing all of this... mayb i need some one care me.. mayb i should throw him out and put a new "he" in.. but where should i find the "he"?? i could cry for him.. but wat for i cry for him?? he is nothing to me.. mayb just friend.. (i m trying to lie) or this so call lonely?? i dun think so.. cos i still got alot of friend... i dun like the feel of sympathize.. i wounld like to cry but why the tears will never drop down..and i m hard with this...