will i move on completely? or just go with the flow...

i am not so sure. my situation is not quite like yours but i think, everyody deserves another chance... even God forgives the sinners. in addition to that, you must learn to love yourself also, prove your worth as a person, let him learn to respect you not just as a partner but also the mother of his children and that you should definiltely show him that you can surely raise your family without him. my guess is that what keeps him coming back to you is because of the kids. talk about it, perhaps make arrangements if you agree to allow him to see his children even you're living separate lives or totally ban him from seeing your kids until his in his proper state of mind. besides, you have no legal rights in terms of having relationship with the other person because you are not legally married. are your children bearing his family name? or has he filed an acknowledgment to support the kids? if yes, the least you can do is demand for his support to your children but there's nothing you can do about your relationship as partners. you see... i can't tell you exactly, but it may be possible that he is more in love with that girl more than you. in that case, don't hold him back. if it makes him happy with that girl then let him. cause if he is really interested in making a lifetime with you then he should have married you years ago or maybe also it's just taking him so long to realized which is his priority. i am married with two kids and in currently pregnant w/ the third child. my husband has had relationships also before we got married, i had alot of heartaches too but i never begged him to stay, i just let him be whatever he wants, i don't even ask him to visit me at home. i was even hiding from him more of the time, but he never gave up on me. i got pregnant w/ the 2nd child, that perhaps the time he realized he can act like he is single anymore, he stop womanizing and we got married and now we are happy together. the point is... give him time alone to weigh his options if he wants to give up on the other girl for you and the kids or will be give up on the 4 of you for the girl. and also give time for yourself to evaluate maybe something about you is wrong. you need to get creative in your relationship. getting your partner bored with you cause him to stray. you need to put attention on him from time to time. its hard getting separated with hatred in your heart. if you can't keep him, at least have a good agreement if you decided to totally give up on him. why prolong your agony? there's still hope to find true love on somebody else's arms whose willing to accept you for what you are. he's not the only man in this world.

Break it off with him. Tell him he can come to see the kids but you won't take him back. I know this will be hard, but it will be better for you in the long run to break-up with him and find a man who will treat you with the respect you deserve.Good Luck.

Seriously you need to just end it with him. You should be in a relationship with someone who is focused only on you, not have another girl on the side. Plus you have kids to think about and what the see and what types of role models are around them. You wouln't want you kids to act like this. It might hurt at first but after while you'd be better off. Forget him and move on.