Step Parenting and Chores Question

This is a tough one. Perhaps it would be better if you did not "give" your step-son chores. He's on the brink of defining himself as a man, and even though he does not live independently, his ego needs his manhood to be recognized. Now, you will either feel as if you have to bring him down to size because he does not pay his own way in life or you can feel like a proud parent watching her young man take his first steps in the world, with the full support of his family (step, biological and otherwise). It's up to you but, trust me, if you take into consideration his young man's ego, things will go smoother for you. He is not 13 years old. If you show him the respect of talking to him as an adult and appealing to him as a responsible young man, you will get better results. Address him seperatly from when you talk to your daughter. You are not scolding him then, you are asking for his adult cooperation within a working household. Men are funny creatures, their egos are their guides. When you criticize his son, you are putting the father on the defensive. Men don't do well on the defensive. When men feel bad, when they are made to feel small (especially by women) they attack. Which means, soon you would find yourself being cast in the role of "nag". Which you would not deserve but then they would both feel justified in ignoring you and your needs. You might have guessed, I learned these lessons the hard way!