Why do some couples try to make each other jealous?
By fizz11
@fizz11 (69)
United States
7 responses
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I think jealousy is often the unhealthy manifestation of some deeper issue. Sure, it probably relates to insecurity, on some level... one of the partners needs to feel more validated... and it plays out through creating jealousy situations, rather than by simply saying "I feel neglected" or "can I have a hug?"
From personal experience, some people simply have unhealthy models for love. Often the whole jealousy issue plays out in situations where one partner believes that love has to be "earned" all the time, and the only way to "earn" love is to "overcome obstacles," so they set up a series of "situations" that forces the other partner to "prove" their love, over and over. Alas, it rarely works, because "solicited" love lacks the authenticity of love that's freely given.
Of course, that's just mu OPINION.
@loralee (542)
• United States
7 Mar 07
You are so right. The thing you said about 'the unhealthy model' is so true and got me thinking about how horrible it must be for young people in the world today that are bombarded by so many bad models. Take for instance the Jerry Springer show and shows of that nature that promote bad, insecure and at times even violent behavior. Expose that to an adolescent mind without any real guidance or education and you have one hell of a drama case on your hands. It is very sad. I am trying to learn patience with people who have too much drama in their lives because after all, we all are a part of this messed up society.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
7 Mar 07
Are you asking both parties or one party? I would think it is more often started by one party more to test ground as he/she may be feeling insecured. If both are matured enough, have a heart-to-heart talk. Shower more love. Defensive will not go anywhere. Perhaps a cool-down period helps.
@fizz11 (69)
• United States
7 Mar 07
It does happen more often that it is started by one party. And yes, it is both parties doing this. It is strange because I am pretty sure they love each other. I don't know what it is that is causing them to do this and am not really sure how to help. Often, I try to get them to look at the positive side of their relationship.
1 person likes this
@fizz11 (69)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Thanks for responding. I think you are right and that is probably the biggest reason why people do this to each other. But it would be nice if a person didn't have to experience such discomfort in a relationship that is supposed to be about love. What do you think?
@beyondcomparison (115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
My partner and I sometimes tend to make each other jealous just to spice up our relationship. Sometimes, it's just our way of assessing ourselves if we still care for each other's whereabouts or what made us busy whenever we are not together. It's not that we don't trust each other. You see, it's kinda boring not to have little agruments. Hope this helps.
@bettyrose20 (997)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
I guess one of the reason why couples make each other jealous is to make them realize if they love each other or not; coz you cant love someone if you arent jealous..but if they make it a habit, its disastrous.
1 person likes this
@stanzi2007 (602)
• United States
19 Nov 07
dear fizz, jealously is a major sign of an insecure person, who doesn't think enough about themselves deep inside, so they attempt to create jealously on your part because really they want you to notice them, but for all the w r o n g reasons!...stanzi
2 people like this
@MH4444 (2161)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Immaturity perhaps?
I'd break up straight away.
That's not positive energy in the world.
It's destructive.
