should mum be the one staying at home?

Yeah..I guess it's much better for mum to be a homemaker rather than a father. Mum as a female has different level of understanding of making a good home such as, taking charge of household issues, cooking delicious food for a family, taking care of children, educating the kids and maintaining a healthy household.

What ever works best for you do it...My sister makes great money, about 3times more than her husband and so when they decided to have a baby, they found it to be best if he quit and stayed home with the wee one. And it works great for them... My husband is the main bread winner in our family, and after having my second child, we realized that my job would just be paying for daycare, so I quit and now stay home and care for other children as well. That works best for us.

I think that the arrangements should be whatever works best for each unique family experience period. There are no shoulds or should nots in this type of decision and is not something that should be imposed upon people.

I am a firm believer that it's the woman's duty to be the raiser of the children. For one, woman have a softer side and they can bond with the children in the loving way. Men can do that too, but I remember as a child that snuggling up to my father felt awkward. My mother's body was soft, small and she knew just how to kiss away the booboos. Also, when I would be in huge trouble, I'd say, "Please don't tell dad." My children feel they can talk to me easier than they can talk to their dad. But, I suppose it's different in each family.