family
By sugarlen
@sugarlen (138)
Philippines
March 7, 2007 2:10pm CST
how do you manage sibling rivalry? i have a friend whose kids are now grown up and have families of their own but are still experiencing sibling rivalry among her children. what advise can you give her?
2 responses
@m_audrey6788 (58472)
• Germany
9 Mar 07
don't show them that you please one of them...of course favoritism is the main cause of sibling rivalry if you talk to them make sure that you don't give bad comments against your other siblings it will make them more confident with their point of view just tell them that they have to understand each difference and learn..just be fair and things will work out...Good luck!
@sugarlen (138)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
nice thoughts m_audrey. my friend told me that she sought a help of a psychologist to really find out what went wrong with her raising the children. she told her that from the very beginning she was always fair and whatever one has all of them get to have. when her kids were still small she sees to it that everyone gets a fair share of what she has. she even sews dresses all patterned the same to the point that they looked like triplets. according to her friend, there was nothing wrong with what she did. there was sibling rivalry because they did not experience individuality. all they know is everybody should get equal treatment. what they don't know since they are not always around, someone really tries her best to show the love and care for her mom. you will also become a mom one day and i am sure you will also experience this. the tip is according to the psychologist, each one should also have a taste of being higher to others because in that manner the child learns to accept realities of life. the child learns to accept that not all the time she gets everything she wants. there should learn individuality and realize that one person really excels from another. in that manner they learn to live realities in life. just like the fingers in our hands god did not make them all equal. if everyone will be treated the same way as others always, the end result is if one seems to look special they feel right away that favoritism exists...but deeply enough, there is no favoritism just retaliation of how one person shows appreciation and sacrifice to a mother....
1 person likes this
@coolchai (753)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
hmmm im actually involved in a sibling rivalry. i grew up with my grandmom, my siblings let our parents get me from my grandmom just to get even with me. they tortured me everyday til now. we have now families of our own, now they torture my children. what i do is i counter them with humility and stil be a good daughter and sister to my family. though there are times i flare up coz i have it with them. there are several times i just want to leave our home and not go back again. but because i love my mom so much i sacrifice. i guess the most expression of love is sacrifice, this is how i survive everyday til now. i just hope one day, i will have a peaceful life without sibling rivalries as an issue. i dont envy my siblings, coz i know how im blessed than them to understand them is already an advantage however, im just so sad coz of my dad. i really dont like his ways. he can fetch his grand daughter and bring her home again without no fuss but what he cant do is fetch his own wife to work and bring her home again when shes finished working. that i cant say is being envious. i feel hate for my father being a parasite at the same time not doing his obligation for my mom. well just pray for me so i can forgive my dad. Godbless!
@sugarlen (138)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
your mom is so lucky to have you cause you are one in a million. despite having a family of your own, you still manage to love your mom. one thing i can say you will also be blessed because children who love and take care of their moms are blessed by God. there is also one thing i can say, you must be very close to your mom cause you can feel what she really feels. there is really binding force between the two of you. you are already a mom by now and you will experience in later years of your life how nice it is to feel being loved by children... god bless you always... continue what you are doing and you will see how god will bless you....and may your tribe increase..
