thinking of it again
By woman1977
@woman1977 (52)
United States
March 8, 2007 11:59am CST
Well, my husband and I are thinking of having another child. I have 2 children now from a prior marriage and he treats them like his own. We currently have a 1 year old godson and the more he spends time with him the more he wants to have one. I am not too sure about this idea. I want to have one but my job is pretty demanding.
2 people like this
6 responses
@mbizmom (237)
• United States
8 Mar 07
Since he doesn't have a child yet, he is basing his wants more on emotion than practicality. Maybe you should sit down with him and make a list of pros and cons about having a child. You should also discuss who would be the primary caretaker since your job is so demanding, he may be willing to take this role on letting you be out of the house more. If you and your husband are leaning towards a yes, you would definitely want to discuss it with your other children. It would be difficult to bring a new baby into the house if you don't have their support as well. Hope this helps.
@woman1977 (52)
• United States
8 Mar 07
We have talked about all the pros and cons. I know I would be the primary caretaker. I am looking to switch jobs or do something from home without losing the income. Both of us know that it will be rough. My other two children look forward to it. I am sure it will be talked about more when the time comes...right now it is a thought.
@mbizmom (237)
• United States
8 Mar 07
It is difficult when you have a demanding job and are expected to be the primary caretaker. I am the primary caretaker and the primary breadwinner and home obligations actually caused me to lose my former job. Now I'm on unemployment and getting ready to go back into the workforce. I am also trying to make some money online that way I can spend less time outside of the home and get the bills paid. I'm sure you two will work this out and make the best decision for both of you.
@thekiwi (588)
• United States
8 Mar 07
I think having a third, which would be your first with him, isnt a bad idea. Also i think he would be surportive with you being pregnant and working still. Who knows it might actually be fun?
But its totally up to you, he cant make you do what you dont want, and if you are having doubts maybe you should wait and talk about it somemore?
@woman1977 (52)
• United States
8 Mar 07
it isn't that i am having doubts as much as it is me getting OLDER or WISER as more sensitive ppl put it..lol I wouldn't mind having a child with him. He is WONDERFUL with our two other ones. My son had a hard time getting use to males that i dated but he really took to my husband when they met. I couldn't believe it. My husband is very sensitive (but manly yet). He supports me in whatever I want to do or have done. I couldn't have asked for better. We want to sell our house right now and build out in the country cuz he wants the child to go to the school he went to and that isn't too much to ask. I am all for it because that will mean he will be closer to the family and well, not in the city. I think it would be good to move THEN try...but then again, if I am knocked up, I don't have to move....LOL
@theempress (408)
• United States
8 Mar 07
Between me and my husband we have 3 boys before we had our own child. He 2 kids from previous marriage and I had one out of wedlock. I consider myself being in the same boat with your husband. He probably want to see how his own blood will look like, coz that how I felt.
@paidreader (5143)
• United States
8 Mar 07
At your age, you still have time, but don't wait too long lol. I think it's wonderful that the new hubby has a good relationship with your kids. That's very important. My hubby started having ideas like that as our daughter got closer to 18 and we knew she would soon be leaving home. His timing wasn't the greatest though when he suggested having another one. I was too old to start again. For us, it'll have to be grandkids. :D
@stinkerbell (38)
• United States
8 Mar 07
That is wonderful that he is such a good father to your two children. You and your kids are very lucky.
This is a difficult situation, and I think it needs a lot of discussion. Having a child is one of those decisions that I think *both* parents need to be agreed upon. If one parent doesn't really want to have another child, that could lead to resentment and anger, and that's not a good environment for a baby. You need to listen carefuly to his desires, and he needs to understand your reservations. Is there any way that you could change jobs?
In my own opinion, the other children don't get to be part of the decision making process. They can decide how many children when they have their own, and shouldn't be allowed to dictate how many you and your husband have. It's going to be a hard enough decision without bringing their views into it. I think you should consider them when making your decision, but not consult them... if that makes any sense!
@amberharness83 (13)
• United States
8 Mar 07
I think that you both need to be sure that is what you both want kids are great but i have 3 boys and am trying for another i also know that the more you have the more the time has to be spread out it can be hard but i think it has a great pay off in the end to have a loving bond that never goes away.
