Oops, I've done it again....

You could probably use the book or DVD "The Secret". It sounds like you are bringing these things on yourself. Don't get me wrong, I am no better, believe me. The theory of attraction is very strong. If we believe something bad will happen, it will. If we believe something good will happen, it will. That is why I am doing a life map (see my post on life mapping). I want to see my goals staring me in the face every day so I can focus on them instead of what I don't want, or the bad things. If we are focusing on "I will never get out of debt", we never will. I should really practice what I preach LOL! But I am just learning this process myself. I still have to watch the DVD again a few times to help me adapt this lifestyle. I hope I can do it, and you too, my friend. Good luck!

Hunni, first i have to say that no one's perfect, that we need to learn things, before we can do anything right... Next, i have to say the most important thing to go on in your life. You have to make YOURSELF happy and better BEFORE you can think about anyone else... I know it sounds selfish, and somehow wrong, but I'm serious, if you don't work to better yourself, your decisions are always clouded, because your not considering the number one. If you don't think of yourself, your sleep, eating blah blah, you will get sick, and you won't be able to take care of your kids, If you don't think of yourself, you don't get anywhere to help others. maybe start giving you some YOU time, and i think your being a little hard on yourself too, if your kids are healthy and strong and becoming independent, then your doing it right, NOT wrong, just take some you time, relax, think things through, what would be best for you, job, home, money, parenting, it all ties in with You. I don't know if i made any sense here for you at all... but i really hope i did. It'll all be okay, Just relax and go with it. Ash

Venting's good. You probably have made some choices that were the right choices, you just didn't notice. Sometimes things just don't work out. I don't think anyone can ever please everyone - why not just sit down and make choices based on what is best for you and your children, and don't worry about making other people happy?

Well Steph I have the same problem and they do say Life puts you on trial, looks like you are like me and always on trial. I am afraid you have to keep going like I am. Make the Decission you think is right, if it slaps you in the face then fight it. I do as it is the only way to survive.

I think I know what you mean. Not sure your exact situation, but you said "I just can't please everyone". Well, I am only 36, but I have found that you will NEVER EVER please everyone. You should concentrate on you, your kids and your husband. Those are the most important people to please. Your parents and friends are important, but not as important as YOUR happiness and the happiness of YOUR immediate family, i.e. kids and husband. I hope it all works out and don't try so hard. Just think about what is best for YOU and your kids and hubby and it will all work out. I am doing that right now with the choice for us to move. My whole family hates the idea and my parents are literally MAD! But, moving is the best choice for ME, MY KIDS, and MY HUSBAND. If it turns out to be a mistake--whether a month or a year down the road--so be it. At least I am doing what is best for us right now. I hope you get it all figured out. Don't be so hard on yourself. :)

Girl, there is nothing wrong or "selfish" about wanting some time for yourself. I doubt very seriously that you "ALWAYS" choose the wrong way to go. You are definitely being to hard on yourself. It is impossible to please "Everyone". So stop trying. You obviously know right from wrong. Or do you??? I think you do, but somehow you end up thinking it's wrong, whatever it is. One time I was feeling the same way you describe you are feeling. So I left a note for everyone, saying "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. There's plenty of food in the fridge. Take care of yourselves for 24 hours. I need to take care of MYSELF for 24 hours." Then I left and checked into a nice motel room all by myself. I took a nice long relaxing bubble bath, with candles and aroma therapy. Put on some nice soothing music that I enjoyed. I gave myself a manicure and a pedicure. I fixed my hair and rubbed lotion all over myself. Watched what I wanted on TV. And slept. The next day I went home and told everyone I love them but sometimes I just need to take care of myself for a change because obviously no one else thinks I need any peace. I also told them, "If you didn't like it, TUFF. Deal with it!" They fussed and told me they were worried about me (guilt trip). I just went about my usual chores and let them say whatever. Eventually they shut up and I was ready to explain that something needed to change for me. Honey, they were the ones always being selfish. It was my turn for a change. You may not want to go about it the way I did but I highly recommend taking care of yourself for 24 hours.

Don't feel like the lone ranger dear, you are only 29 I am 50 and still have this very same conversation with myself. I just had the other day, I have been to court over 5 times in the last year over mess ups that I caused. I was only trying to what was right but things turned out so wrong for me. Now I am fighting to get back on the right track for the 1000th time. Just keep your chin up, think positive and pray!

Life has a reason, a purpose and a meaning. All of us experience pain, success, failure, depression, joy, sorrow all the emotions. We give and try to live the fullest and hope to make it perfect but there is no such thing as perfect. We struggle because we want to survive. We fall because we want success. But falling does not mean you have no chance to be up. There is. Every day the sun rises and every late afternoon the sun sets. Life is the same, you rise and sometimes you fall. But the good thing is you have it always. But it will never happen that the sun will only set. Keep up! Cheer up and see the beauty of life. All I could see in you is goodness and effort for your family. Congratulations. Don't be depressed life has a meaning. It does not mean because you did not get what you want that you are a failure. You are not. Keep strong and remember the sun is always there is smiling and ready to rise.

Been there, honey -- got the t-shirt! :) Want to know what changed EVERYTHING for me? I realized that happiness is a CHOICE, not a gift we receive. Once I decided to be happy about my life, be grateful for my "mistakes" because they led me to my husband and my kids and to stop waiting for my life to start, my life DID start!!!! Repeat after me: The only person I have to please is ME! I cannot please anyone else if I am not in a good state of mind. Repeat after me: Perfect is boring. And all of those people who look like they have perfect lives don't either. What makes MY life perfect for me is that I decided it was. Most importantly -- Ask yourself this. Would I want anyone to treat my kids the way I treat myself? (I'm betting the answer is "Hell NO!!!") Then change it. Now. Set the example for your kids so that they see life is meant to be enjoyed and there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for...and mistakes aren't always negative. I have not failed 99 times...I have merely eliminated 99 possibilities. Thomas Edison (with some paraphrasing) Yes, by all means watch The Secret or read the book. But until you can get ahold of it, tell yourself tomorrow morning "Today is going to be AWESOME, because I choose to have an awesome day." Repeat hourly if needed. I have lost 74 lbs, built a good marriage into a wonderful marriage and happily accepted my 2 year old's autism AND my son's deployment in Iraq -- all because I decided "Screw it! I want to be happy!" Try it ONE day. If you're not satisfied, there is always misery to be found the next day :) ~Paula www.sexandchocolatediet.com

to be scare its good. That mean that you aware to trouble and problems. ton't thinking too far. just today you can ask by your self am i doing good today? did i hurt somebody today? did i forget about something? do it before sleep then let it go. do nice tomorow, and before sleep rewind. with that you live in control in your hands. :) good luck.

er.. relax relationships are built on 2 people. sometimes trying too hard brings about extra stress and undue influence over a person. Try to relax, do things in a way that you will not need to think too much. When things need to try very hard and requires too much thinking, break it down to steps. Keep It Simple

Let nature take it's course... no point stressing over so many things... things that many people stress over tend to have a way of straightening themselves out when the time comes... Good luck...

"you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself" from an old song maybe try to fix those things, or at least improve your odds by taking those issues one at a time instead of all at once It sounds to melike you should maybe try to please yourself and your children first, then if somebody else is pleasing you and worth pleasing consider them next. Wory less about pleasing others and more about what YOU want and need. I hope it helps, its just my opinion, if you are going to worry about somebody make em earn it first.

you have a problem buddy, though you have a decision in your self try to ask and tell, consult others before doing such things, it will make a long way to have a good path just like a decisioning and first believe in your self, failure is a part of our life all you have to do pass is through it and make solution out of it....truly you cannot please everybody but you can reach them for help...

I feel the same way too sweetie. I figure we all have our cross to bear some are more obvious than others, but all have them. I wish at time for a different one, but then I remember tha God knows what he is doing even if I don't. I just leave my descions up to him and hope for the best, and as long as I do this I know I am making the right ones. Just becuase they are painfull or hard does not make them bad, just that it was for you to go through. It is with these things that form us, make us the people we are and it is our descsion to make the best of them and not allow them to make us bitter people, but to make us loving, compationate, empathetic people and in turn help those around us.

You are being way to hard on yourself....ever heard of "we ourselfs are our worst crittic"? Learning to let go of things you can't change is the first step to making peace with yourself.Trying to please others a lot of times means not being yourself and how can you be perfect at something you are not ment to be. Just be the best at who you are and people will learn to except you for that.

you cant please everyone. that isnt possible. just try to listen to your heart, and dont forget yourself. once my doc told me, stop pleasing the others, please yourself. your shoulders arent that big to take all from others. you get sick when you dont stop. and he was totally right. of course i didnt listen to him and tried to be nice and so on. but i learnt it the hard way. now i just go and think of what could be the best for my kids and me, then i decide. we all do wrong steps in our life, but what matters is, to learn from them. i wish you good luck and please think on you too.

In my house we have a saying.."If mom ain't happy, nobody's happy." You need to do what's right for you. Your hubby may not want you to work because he values what you do around the house and with the kids. i had a lady that worked for me years ago in a restaurant I managed, she has school age kids and worked Mon-Fri, lunches only. It was only 15-20 hours a week, but got her out of the house, made some extra money, and she was still available for her family when they needed her. I work at my office now 24 hours a week, a month ago it was more like 60 hours a week, and I thought I was losing it. Now I feel like I have a chieved balance, and as hard as it was to say "no" to people and have them get frustrated at you I learned to do it, and now I'm happier and it reflects in my household. Do what's right for you Stephanie. After all, when you die you're only gonna have to answer to yourself and God. Hope things get better for ya! ;)

I'm sorry you feel so frustrated today. I'm not sure of your situation but one thing I know, life is not easy. You seem to think you are making a lot of bad decisions, maybe if you to take each one and write it down you can see if you have developed any patterns. Write down what you think should have been the right decision and learn from it. Then shred the list. This is for your eyes only to help you. If you are are trying to please everyone, I hate to tell you that rarely works. Slow down and think about things before you make decisions. Don't answer right away if it is something important, tell them you need time to think about it. My husband has what he calls the 24 hour rule. We never make major decisions in a hurry or on an impulse. We try not to just react to thing that life throws our way, (although he is better at this than I am). After you have had time to think about what you want to do or what you should do, then you decide. You can do this, just slow down, get all the facts and weigh the end results. The fact that you care about your family is a good start. Parenting is hard work, but you can do it. People do this all the time and you can to. Hope this helps a little.

I think you have started a family too soon. Life is in front of you and you had to take the time for yourself when it was nesessary. Now you have kids who don't let you work. Tell them you want to. Will you ever have the time to find who you truly are? If not now then when? You need to keep yourself satisfied. And you can't if you only think about your family. Have a break!