My daughter screams for everything she wants PLEASE HELP

My boy was like that and I can empathise with you as it is really a hair pulling out scream. Unfortunately I just gave in, because I couldn't stand it, I did do one thing occasionally if I was able tot tolerate it, I would ignore it and repeatedly say to him at intervals, i will not do anything until you quieten down,, it worked occasionally. But my neighbours must of thought I was doing him serious harm, the noise he made, I was so embarressed once, when a neighbour knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok, they soon understood when I said, that my son was screaming because I would not give him another crayon to draw on the walls with.

My toddler went into that phase too...as if she can only scream instead of just plain talking. What I did was buy vhs/dvd's that teaches the inner or outer voice. Barney has that episode. And also books. She loves watching Caillou so when she started doing that.....I put my finger on my lips and talk softly to her and ask her...does Caillou do that? Or does Cinderella scream? The soft voice and the question distracts her and she would say...no.......and I tell her...see they don't know that but why are you doing it. I told her Mama can't understand you when you scream because it is hurting Mama's ears. Other things I did was to record her voice while she was screaming or throwing tantrums. When she had listened to it...she got upset and she wanted it to be turned of. So, I calmly discuss to her again why screaming or throwing tantrums is so bad. Believe me, I was not calm at first. My first reaction was to scream back and tell her to be quiet coz it is so embarrassing with neighbors...they might think am torturing her or something. Then I remember that at this age..they are like parrots. Imitate what your reaction is. I have to take a hold on my temper and keep on reminding myself........I am the mother...I am the mother...so I know who would train who. It just need a whole lot of patience when you deal with this stage....and probably lots of tylenol for the headache but soon, our children will learn that this behavior can't be tolerated. My daughter is my first baby too and being on a family way again, I am wiser this time. First child is really a trial and error. You are not the only one who's mind is so boggled on what is the best thing to do for them. I go into forums and read a lot of book for guidance on behavior. My mother and my mother in law will give me advice allright but bottomline it always goes down to " she is only a baby, she will grow out of it"...very patronizing...=)

I know it's hard but no matter how hard she screams you need to let her scream and not give her anything she wants. And then when she finally does stop you need to be sure to continue the punishment longer. Do not reward her for finally stopping her tantrum she needs to know she can't get away with it that easily. I baby sat on little girl like that that would scream her head off. Her mother gave her a treat when she stopped and so I think she screamed just so that when she stopped she would get a treat. If she continues for too long take ahold of her and sit her in your lap and don't let her move until she stops. You might want to put cotton in your ears! Let her down only when she has completely calmed down. I know it's hard, and it seems like forever but if you continue to give in it will never end. I know she most likely will get to the point she will cough and you will think that you are to blame for her feeling so sick after continueing on that way but she will learn she is only doing it to herself. She will survive. About the only thing I would say you should tell her is that it's not going to work and you are not going to give her what she wants no matter what she does. Be strong.

i have the same experience with my niece. well, start ignoring her. well actually, not to the point that you ignore everything about her. just ignore her screaming. if you give in to that, she'll just continue and continue. she's getting what she wants indeed. in time she'll minimize her attitude with it. but as for now, do ignore in a social manner and try to talk to her. don't shout at her, too. she'll be more violent if you do that.

When my kids threw tantrums I walked away from them and then I would, when I knew I wouldn't kill them, I returned to them and if they were still carrying on I would kneel to their level and speak to them in a soft voice. You might be surprised how quickly they quiet down to hear what you have to say. I usually would comment that if she would be quiet we could settle down and go watch our favorite show or whatever she would enjoy at that time. I found that with mine, walking away from them and NOT giving them an audience or letting them see they get to me was the best thing. I honestly only experienced a handful of tantrums from all 3 of my kids. All of which DID live to become teens. From this point on it's highly debateable! LOL

My first reaction would be a swift swat on the butt or thigh when she starts the racket with a firm "no!". My second reaction....a swift swat on the thigh with a louder "mo!" There is no excuse to allow this to happen more than a couple of times before she gets a physical reminder that his is no acceptable The swat will not hurt her , will break her concentration, and give her an unpleasant result that she will be very careful to avoid. If you are consistent she should be cured of the habit in less than 4 days.

I have worked with problem kids and know that your dauighter knows she can get you to do anything if she screams and keeps it up. thsi usually starts like this once the child learns he has your attention and can make you do something he will keep improvising it. I have seen cases where kids even banged there heads on the floor. luckily she is still young and her memory is short. This behavior can start as young as when kid is nine months old. I will suggest, try and give her what she wants before she starts screaming, the moment she asks for the first time, either by gestures or eyes. many times you will missout but do not worry. Pay close attention to her and you can as a mother pinpoint the exact point at which screaming will start. break the behavior, even write it down when she screamed , why she screamed, for what she screamed. if you miss out the signal give whatever she wants at the first instance of screaming do not let her scream on and on. slowly she will learn not to scream. Next thing what you can do, if you have decided you can not give something to her, like knioves or softdrinks or any other thing that can harm her-say a big loud clear no and look her in to the eyes even hold her chin and make her look in to your face and then in calm manner say 'NO" stress it and leave her. do not look at her do nothing just keep doing your work. let the screaming go on. if it gets louder just move away from her or even start laughing(I mean exact in the opposite of what you are expected to do after she screams.) keep an eye on her out of corner of your eyes so that she does not harm her. may be without looking at her star singing her favorite song or play her movie without inviting her to join. she will eventually stop and then give her something she likes like a chocolate or lemonade as soon as she is quite even if for five minutes, give her a big smile and kiss if she does not scream again and a frown and a no if she screams again. SHe will make out in one week or so that she gets anything she wants when she asks for it quietly and does not get anything except disapproval if she screams and if she is quite mama loves her. Tell this to other family members too and if you can do it even two times a day it will still be a clear message to her. Point is to send a clear message to her that she can ask for things by just pointing to them aor asking them-need not scream for it. secondly screaming is not accepted by any of the members. she is not loved or admire if she is screaming she can win your favor and love again if she stops screaming. Online I can not show you but I hope you get the hang of the technique. Go by instinct and you will do allright. In the begining the problem behavior increases or even pattern changes as your daughter also tries to improvise her own way to blackmail you again. may be she will roll on floor or do any other stuff but do not over react. I ahd one kid who cried till he became blue in face and mother thought he will hold his breathing but then what we did was avoided making him start crying at all. he used to cry for coke and bang his head on floor and even hold his breadth. we just reduced the quantity slowly but gave it to him before he cried. mom used to carry bottle of coke with her all the time. we asked her to give him less and less each time but give it before he cried it took months of patience but child did get over his crying behavior. so just keep at it. I have not seen your kid so I can not advice you thoroughly but I have told you the basic technique of behavior therpy, hopefull you can implement it. just use your instinct.

Only thing I can say is do what my mom told me to do. When she starts screaming, scream along with her. She will be so shocked to hear you screaming that she will stop screaming. Don't get louder than her, just make the most funny scream you can think of. Also you can jump up and down and say you want something also, lol. Now if your out in public, don't do that, lol. Just do something to distract her. Let's say your in the supermarket, and she starts throwing a fit over some candy or something you wouldn't even feed your dog. You can distract her by saying something like let's see how fast we can get from one end of the isle to the other. You really don't have to go really fast, lol, just enough that she will take her mind off of whatever she wants. If your in the mall, try not to take her to an area that you know she will have a meltdown. Don't go out when she's tired or hungry, nobody is in a good mood when that happens. Normally screaming along with her and acting silly will cause her to stop and laugh at you. At that age, you basically have to be one step ahead of them. Also at home when she starts you can also turn the music up and dance with her. Just have to have a really good imagination. Also give her options, either you can have this or that, make sure its two of something you don't care for her to have. My husband thinks I'm weird for trying to wheel and deal with small kids, but it really doesn't matter because I win either way. If all of this fails, you can always put her in her room, tell her she will be in time out for about how ever many of minutes you feel is best for the screaming. That she may be able to come out when she's able to calm down enough to stop screaming. Then you walk away to an area of the house where you can't hear the screaming at it's highest point and just count to ten. Don't forget to invest in a pair of ear plugs just in case. Hopefully this will work. Plus the screaming will help release stress. Also forgot, you can turn the music up and dance. Dance the most silliest dance you can think of. Every kid loves music and loves to dance. Good Luck.

Oh dear :( and she's worked out that the more I scream and the louder I scream the more likely I am to get what I want. Hmmm she is a little young for time out but then if she has worked out that a) screaming gets b) what I want Then perhaps you could try a minutes time out. It seems you are in a vicious circle hun and you need to break that pattern. Okay so if this was my child here is what I would do. 1) screaming in the house to get what she wants. solution = ignore her. 2) Screaming outside to get what she wants. solution = distract her. If you yell back at her, scream at her or slam something down "Here Have It!" you are teaching her that's acceptable to scream. As I said this is a very difficult habit to break and I am no behaviour expert but I was a childrens nurse and I studied psychology. Stop this behaviour now before it escalates. The time out thing. Apparently you take hold of the child, sit them down on a rug, arms folded and you hold them there for 1 minute The equation is 1 minutes for each year So a 17 month old could be held for just over a minute. The method of holding them is safer than putting them in a room alone and not knowing what they are getting up to. Just one minute on the rug. "Time Out!" and after a while you can just say NO and if she starts to scream say in a firm voice "Time Out!" You must carry it out though, even if the screaming stops, you must make her see that its not acceptable to scream. Hope this helps Bright Blessings lots of HUGS and hopefully lots of parental advice from other myloters will follow.

It's pretty easy for us to sit here and tell you what you should do when we don't have to endure the screaming, which I'm sure is nerve-wracking and stressful. But...here goes. I believe that the more you give in to her screams, the more she'll do it because she knows she'll get what she wants. You have to start ignoring her screams, for as long as it takes. It will be harder on you than on her, for sure, but parenting isn't easy. This is the only way she will learn that she will get your attention sooner when she asks for something in a reasonable tone. Also, make sure you are giving her lots of positive reinforcement for the things she does right. When she does ask for something in a nice, polite, reasonalbe tone, go overboard praising her. Don't give her attention when she screams. She must learn that this is not the way to get what she wants NOW or it will only get worse with time. Good luck Mom! You're going to need lots of patience on this one!

I realize i may not know what i'm talking about, seeing as though i have no kids, but i was always told not to give in. I realize it's embarressing, but if you give in they know how to get what they want. So they scream everytime.

it's called attention. she knows how to get it and that's what she does. you need to ignore her when she does this no matter how long it goes on, if you are in public you may have to return home or atleast sit in the car and tell her that you are not going back until she stops screaming. don't let her have everything she wants, but do reward her for when she behaves well. atleast thats what i do with my son and he is just an angel in public, except for when he is tired then he is fussy but he never screams cause he wants something.

You could also try putting her in her crib and leaving the room until she calms down. I hate using the bed as a punishment, but if all else fails... It will also give you a break to walk away and calm down before you have to deal with her again. It is a viscious cycle to break and what works for one child won't necessarily work for another. The main thing is not to give into demands if they are not nicely put. At seventeen months she probably can't tell you want she wants by talking but she should be able to gesture without screaming. You might bring it up with her pediatrician as well for a doctor's opinion or parents as teachers.

My daughter does the exact same thing. This is something that has been very hard to deal with. I try very hard not to give in and give her her way. I will put her in her crib until I hear she has calmed down. This is very hard for me to do since I like you am a first time mom. We just don't like to hear our kids screaming. Just try not to give into her. I hope she calms down for you. I'm right here with ya going through the exact same thing.

When my daughter was 2 years old she started this but would also throw herself on the floor. i remembered what my aunt had done. her son did this and she happened to have a pan of cold water in her hands and with out thinking she threw it on him and he stop so I tried it with a glass of water. It stoped her cold. She did try it a couple of more time but all I had to do was pick up a glass of water when she started and she stoped emmediatly. The water dosen't have to be very cold just the supprise is enough to end the screaming.

well my dear, sad to say but your child is manipulating you very well....since she's in the toddler stage, she's having temper tantrums as her way of getting things from you. i just hope u can be of sound mind when determining what your child really needs when she cries/screams to giv it or not to giv. talk to your child, they listen... ask your pediatrician regarding the stages a child goes thru & what are their most common habits while on this stage so u can better understand things. i believe they have a book abt this...

ok

Let her scream. I know you think she can go on forever but she can't. If you give into her that just lets her know if she screams she gets what ahe wants. I have three children and my youngest did that and after a while when she relized it wasn't going to help her she stopped good luck.

I'm don't really know much, but at 17 months, she is just finding a away of expressing herself. How about some language and phonics class. If she has such a voice, maybe she can be a singer next time. haha Cheers apowell

I think the most important thing, after you have tried everything that would normally make a baby scream, such as changing diapers, checked the baby’s temperature, changed clothes to make the temperature of the room better, checked for diaper rash, fed the baby and gave the baby a drink, is to try to distract the baby. Even when your baby is screaming for a valid reason, such as pain or illness, you can almost always distract her for at least a short time. I wish it will help you