Are you a loner?
@wonder_grrrl66 (236)
United States
March 9, 2007 10:34am CST
Do ever have those moments when you feel more alone in a crowd than you do when you're alone? Do hate conforming to the trends and wish you were embraced for your non-conformist views?
I'm only asking this question because I find more often than not that's the best way to described myself to other people. While I do enjoy getting to know new friends, I have a difficulty doing so. I always felt sort of odd about this because I've met so few other people like me. Then I found a book called _Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto_ by Anneli Rufus and it changed my life.
As a collection of essays on various topics ranging from work and play to fashion, art and other interests I found acceptance for being a loner. The author uses other great artists and members of pop culture such as Kurt Cobain and Andy Warhol to name a few as emphasis that it's okay to stand out from the crowd. I'd recommend this novel to any who seeks acknowledgement for being a loner/nonconformist.
3 people like this
5 responses
@TinWolf (184)
• United States
9 Mar 07
With no offense at all I find the term "NON Conformist" a boring cliche.
I've read your post and I won't delve into the details of your suggestions about reading choices but will offer these feelings.
Isolation, or avoidance can certainly be a blessing when chosen but a prison when imposed. Another cliche that's toxic to me is "My Space" though in essence we all seek it, or should, when we NEED it.
The best things about TRENDS, so much like Philosophy, is that they change. That isn't to say anyone needs to feel the need to "follow" however. Be aware though that "standing out" might get one stoned by those who don't accept, or understand that DIFFERENT is OK.
Certainly in my knowledge and experience I wouldn't want to emulate Mr. Cobains former lifestyle, just to express individualism, but I respect some of the premise of wanting to do so and feel so.
@TinWolf (184)
• United States
13 Mar 07
No I wasn't suggesting you or any readers were or should emmulate Kurt, and I suppose as learning tools, books do provide levels of that. People have also followed the Bible (with the largest sales figures and readership of ant book in history)
I happen to have, and have written many inspirational educational, motivational books, and I often use them as reference material; such as "Women who run with the Wolves" which I did not author, but was blessed with as a gift.
One of our greatest freedoms, as a species, is Choice, and certainly most of us attempt to gravitate toward the commanalities we seek in, or share with others. My "choice" is to usually not get too deeply involved with others of any vast differences, but I'm not opposed to learning and trying to understand their points of view.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
11 Mar 07
In my view their are two things that can tend to isolate individuals more than anything else; authenticity and intelligence
all the best urban
@surfincypherz (490)
• United States
11 Mar 07
This is me, the loner, who really finds other people like myself. Even when I do find others like myself I still don't want to spend as much time with others as some more extroverted people I have known. From time to time I even manage to make friends with an extrovert but this friendship usually fizzles out because the person simply cannot understand why I like to spend so much of my spare time alone. I even get made fun of for wanting to be alone. But, I'm not just an introvert I'm a very dominant intra-personal intelligence type. This means my interests and abilities center around psychology, philosophy, religion, spirituality all of which you will notice are about "knowing yourself" and being closer to yourself.
This doesn't mean I don't want to be around others esp. when I find someone who is like me in ways. And, I learn a lot about myself by interacting with and learning about others. So, its a delicate balance.
I have never had trouble accepting my loner life. Sometimes though when I am in some social situations I wish I didn't have to deal with others making fun of me behind my back because of my weaknesses, my loner status, or for that matter for any reason. It usually isn't a problem but sometimes it interferes with work and goals and such. People judge you unfairly based on the combined unfair views of several other people who probably don't even know you. Oh, well that is life.
I'll check out the book though it sounds interesting.
@omer_ahmed_tabarik (1057)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 07
Their are times when I feel that their is nobody but me. I get my mind to think how and where would have the one who has created us has gained his powers. At that time i'm a loner.
@sdawasthi (26)
• India
9 Mar 07
wonder girl same is the case of mine. but it happens to me when my loved one is not with me in crowd i am just alone because the one who loves me is far away and when i am alone the one whom i love comes in the front of my eyes as a dream come true
