Is it sometimes wrong to bring a baby into this world.
By smithy86
@smithy86 (137)
March 9, 2007 1:31pm CST
My friend is 18 and pregnant. Normally i wouldnt mind but she is 18, no school, no job, living with an alcoholic mother who also doesnt work. Her boyfriend is in his 40s and recently lost his job. They are all chain smokers, addicted to smoking dope and drink more than a whole kegs worth in a week. She told me that they talked about it and planned this baby. Is it wrong to consider bringing a child up in this world knowing you cant give it everything? I know that plenty of mothers raise children on benefits but that usually happens by chance. I personally dont see how this child can have any sort of childhood when the parents would rather sit and smoke pot all day instead of getting a job. Am i right?
7 people like this
16 responses
@tator_tot8073 (698)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I think that it is wrong to bring a child into the world like that. She really doesn't need to raise the child in that enviroment. A child does not need to have everything, but you at least need to be able to support them. Maybe your friend might want to consider adoption. The child would probably have a much better chance of receiving the love and attention that he or she needs.
@smithy86 (137)
•
9 Mar 07
if the child was an accident then maybe adoption would be a suggestion i could make but unfortunately for the child, My friend made this decision with her boyfriend to conceive. They both decided to try for a baby. It makes me quite angry actually because i would give my right arm to have a baby and there is a big chance i may never have one yet there are people out there who just have em because its the thing to do when you think about a serious relationship or you think it will make you grow up more?
3 people like this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I think they have made a decision and they will need to live with it. This child's experience will be different from what is ideal, but these folks might surprise you when the child is actually here.
You said that your friend told you this pregnancy was planned...who planned it?
Sounds as if maybe she planned it and the fellow was just too lazy or clueless to take measures to avoid the pregnancy. Either way, things will work out one way or the other. There are kids who have managed even in the circumstances you have described.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
10 Mar 07
Actually I can sum them up in one word, they are SELFISH!!!
They have no idea on what this can do to the child, he or she will probably end up not feeling safe at all. it is not a good enviroment for a child to grow up in,. I guess the fact that she is just 18 makes her Naive - I am sure that the social services will be involved if they don´t change their ways before the baby arrives.
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
10 Mar 07
Oh this is not a good home to bring a baby up in this kind of enviroment with all this negativity around what hope would this poor little baby have, as you can tell from your discussion the mother did not have much of a life, and of course you are right what you have said that it is no good at all. This is terrible and she should not be allowed to have a child under these circumstances.
2 people like this
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
10 Mar 07
She doesn't sound like she's in a position to raise a child but I think she owes it to the child to carry him/her and give the child to a couple who would love and care for him/her. I also think she needs to stop smoking pot until that baby is born. It's not good for her or the child.
1 person likes this
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
10 Mar 07
One last thing...It is always good to bring a child into the world. It may not always be a good idea for the birth mother to keep the child but the child should always have the chance to live.
1 person likes this
@zen_flynx (106)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
maybe they should try first, but if they really want this child, they should be determined to do anything. but when the baby comes and they still do what they are doing right now. social services might come and take over the child. so i suggest that they first reform themselves into people who are worthy to be called "mommy and daddy" its not just a name you know, its a duty that should be done whole heartedly.
@money_maker01 (1097)
• Malaysia
10 Mar 07
Hi, to be very honest I am totally agree with you. When you talk about having a kid, it is not about like when you said that I want a baby and there you go. Being a parent is such a high responsible. When the baby is coming you must be a good parent not only about love but also about money and many more. I think your friend is not ready enough to have the baby. I feel so sorry for the baby for the most!
@Noxmorexlies (739)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I think it is very wrong, her baby is not going to have the care it needs and because of her lifestyle it will be very unhealthy and be at a high risk for many things such as mental diseases and psychial as well.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I would think the CPS should be at that child's house regularly, but unfortunately as a fetus, it is in a very unhealthy environment, the child will be born with fetal alchohol syndrome and who knows what else.
What are you doing about it? THis may sound awful, but can you go to CPS or the police and report this pregnant woman so that the baby is raised in a safer, better place?
1 person likes this
@ryleesmama (560)
• United States
11 Mar 07
I do agree with you that this is a horrible situation. I am not one to judge but I do feel sorry for this child. It seems like the baby has no chance from the start. I hope that the parents can grow up and realize what is going on and that if they don't shape up this baby may get taken away from them.
@browneyedgirl (1264)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I agree; that's not a good environment for a child. Perhaps she should consider adoption.
@Aryanbharani (209)
• India
10 Mar 07
You are more than a 100% right!!! What's their interest in bringing that child into the world, when they can't even afford to spend time and money on it.Maybe if they are such an addict to smoking, and they dont have a job too, they just want the kid to(i know this is horrible, i just wanna say it cos, if thats what on their minds u cud do something to stop it.......)use it(u know there are lots of kid traders these days( i've come across parents who just have a kid so that they can sell it off)
@ckadiwar2006 (7)
• India
10 Mar 07
to be frank its not fair for the child when their parents fail to take responsibility which is seen in this case.
what is the poor childs fault. it isnt even born and the atmosphere's bad.
but on the contrary it could bring a change into their lives.
@michele_villasenor (624)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
I don't think it's wrong to bring a baby into that kind of world. But she should find her baby a way out of it. She may give the baby up for adoption if she has no other option, or better if she decides to keep the baby and start a new life. Once she sees her baby I'm sure she'll want to keep him/her.
@myomyintmaung (50)
• Singapore
10 Mar 07
Yes, it's sometimes wrong to bring a baby into this world if the parents don't have the intention to take care of the baby.
@naguuee (23)
• India
10 Mar 07
I think what she did is a stupid thing. Pregnant at the age of 18 is unbelivable. This is a lesson for her.
