Would You Allow Your Child/Children To Be Present At The Birth Of Their Sibling?
By biwasaki
@biwasaki (1745)
United States
March 9, 2007 3:21pm CST
While I think it should be up to every mother how she wants to handle her labor and delivery process, personally I would not want my daughters (4 and 2) there when I give birth to their brother. I think if they saw me in that much pain and the mess that comes with giving birth, it might scare and confuse them. I would much prefer that they stay with grandma and then come and visit after their brother is born.
What do you think? Would you allow your children to be present at the birth of their sibling?
10 people like this
31 responses
@ryleesmama (560)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I think that I would allow my children to be at their siblings birth. But I don't know for a fact until I am in the moment. I think that if I explained it to them in a way that they understood and prepared them for it it would be okay.
2 people like this
@Clairec23 (136)
• Ireland
10 Mar 07
I gave birth to my second child a few weeks ago, my son is two. I had to give birth at home with my son in the next room watching a dvd. He wandered in a couple of times and was carried out by his Daddy but he wasn't phased by it at all, he was too young to understand. I was afraid he would be traumatised because I was a bit, erm, vocal but it didn't bother him. I wouldn't have planned what happened because you have no idea what kind of reaction the child will have and to be honest, worrying about him getting in the way was a bit too distracting for me. If the child is old enough to understand and the process is explained to them fully and they still want to be there and the mother is happy with that, then I don't see a problem with it but it isn't the way I would want to go.
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I think it would depend on the age of the child as to if I would want that child there. I agree, 2 and 4 years old would be a little young to understand.
But if my daughter was a teen like now and I were pregnant, I would totally want her there! My teen-aged daughter and I have a good relationship. And I know that if I were pregnant again, she would WANT to be there also. :)
2 people like this
@red158 (333)
• Canada
10 Mar 07
My oldest witnessed the birth of my 3rd child, although it was totally accidental. They had brought her in to see me, my labour's were not extremely difficult, and I have a good pain threshold, plus after the epidural what pain.
Anyway she was there when they came in to check me, and the next thing I know they were telling me to push, there was no time for her to leave the room. I remember seeing her peering from the bathroom and me telling my ex to please check on her.
She came through it without trauma, I think it shocked me more than her,
1 person likes this
@lillake (1630)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I think it is fine. My 2 year old was present when his brother was born. The thig was not to just have him there and expect him to understand like an adult does. Of course you can't expect that from a young child! We spent the entire pregnancy talking about it, sharing, explaining. In the last month or so I showed him pictures and videos of women giving birth online and expained what was going on. I never made it seem scarey and was quick to remove him if he seemed upset. When I went into labor he woke up and stayed with me and his father. He wasn't upset or frightened because I had taken the time to share and explain and made sure he was comfortable with it. If he had gotten upset or frightened his father would have taken him somewhere to calm down.
1 person likes this
@krayzee (1160)
• Romania
10 Mar 07
Given as your daughters are so young I think the whole experience will rather scare them very much. As someone commented before me even some adults that participate are quite shaken, imagine how a 4 year old must feel.
Definitely they should come visit only after their brother is born.
I wish you an easy delivery and a healthy baby :)
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Thank you very much for the well wishes.
Yes, I know some fathers who were barely able to handle seeing their child being born. So I definitely would not want to put my daughters into that situation unless they were old enough to fully understand what was going on.
@steffylikewoah (1762)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I'm with you. When I have my next child I don't want my daughter in the room. I remember how labor felt with her, and I remember how much I screamed. I don't want her to see that.
1 person likes this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
16 Mar 07
This would not be an option for me as I have had all of my children via c-section. My hospital only allows for one person to be in the room and that's my husband! Besides, my husband's favorite part is when they first cut me open and all of the water and blood pours out! I don't think a child needs to see that!
I have young children too and I think that age would be a big determining factor if I ever did consider that option. Right now my oldest will be 4 in June and they require that whoever's in the operating room with me stand in one place and not move ... ya, right! She would never be able to do that, besides I don't think that the hospital would even allow it!
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Personally I think it depends on a lot of factors. Some children would be really excited and really interested in the whole process and would be ok in the birthing room. Other's would not. Personally. I think if they were talked to before the birth and knew what to expect, I think it would help them understand things a bit more. I think it would really help them understand birth and life, and really make them appreciated their sibling more.
1 person likes this
@abowen (37)
• United States
12 Mar 07
i would not let my kids see the birth of their brother. i have a 6 year old girl and a 2 year old son. to me they are to young to see what does on. my daughter knows that i'm having a baby and that it comes out the private area. but other then that she knows nothing.
1 person likes this
@ladyrainfx (366)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
I think that goes with the age and maturity level of the children. Understanding the present situation is making them feel how hard it is to deliver them in this world. That way they will understand your efforts of dicipline.
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
10 Mar 07
no way should they be present they are way to young and it will be traumatic this woman is nuts she could scar her kids for life !
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
12 Mar 07
With my second I was in labor for only 3 hours had the fathers mother not been there my 3 year old would have had no choice, but I dont think that a child should see that especially naturally, no child wants to see there mom screaming and in pain, its traumatic. So, I would say no, but like you said it is up to the parents.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I agree with you, biwasaki. shoot, I do not even want my husband to see me "like that" But, I suppose, if the child is my daughter and she is old enough and mature enough - she could be a help, especially in a midwifery situation. I would like the children near by though so they can be amongst the first to see the newborn.
1 person likes this
@reipowerhouse (428)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I have two daughters by the ages of 5 and 3. We just recently had our third child in November of 2006 and my answer is absolutely NOT.
In fact I didn't even let them be at the hospital until after the baby was born due to how much craziness there is without young children asking a million and two questions.
@andysminky (330)
• India
10 Mar 07
Labour pain would be a little too much for such small kids .. its better we leave them in their own sweet world than burden them with feelings of such strong pains .. labour pains are the worst of all pains I know .. Yes but you can explain them (for their curiosity) sake how their brother is goin to come out .. they will learn to nurture their sibling if prepared before hand of the birth ..
1 person likes this
