Do you have or ever had a prototype?
By Tammuz
@Tammuz (347)
Romania
March 9, 2007 6:21pm CST
We all know that Prince Charming does not exist.Neither does his tall white horse.No,not even the beautiful princess!
Yet,I saw that everybody has builded up some kind of a prototype for "the perfect man" or "the perfect woman".I gear all day long "I would like to be with a blonde..with long legs and ......." or "He has to be charming,romantic,understanding,handsome,rich,.........."I've read years ago an article where some psychologists were saying that if a person builds a prototype,he/she will end up hurt because that person is actually living in a beautiful utopia and "the one" has almost every time false qualities,given because of the existing prototype and the hope that "the one" can change into exactly the one from your dreams.
Do you think this is true?Do you (or did you had)have a certain prototype?Did you find someone to "match" or did you just gave that someone a few more qualities..out of the blue?
2 people like this
7 responses
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
Hello tammuz, since I was a little girl, I never had those "prototype" list on my mind. I learned early that physical perfection is just that, an external view that is pleasing to look at. I always look for a man with brain and good personality. I understand that a lot of people loves to list down criterias about their Prince Charming/beautiful princess. But really, perfection don't exist. Once you get to know your Prince Charming/beautiful princess, you will begin to see that he is not perfect at all. The weaknesses and flaws will come out eventually.
@Tammuz (347)
• Romania
10 Mar 07
You know that my "Mr perfect" prototype has a lot of defects included?I would get bored with a perfect man who does nothing wrong.
I have quite severe,pretentious and exigent regarding my Mr Perfect.And I usualy look up for defects first.I want to know them before the qualities.I discover later the qualities.
I am now very happy...I found a "match".I can accept his defects and I am always surprised of the amount of qualities that are covering those defects.I think it's called "accepting each other the way we are,without trying desperatly to change".
Thank a lot
1 person likes this
@Tetchie (2932)
• Australia
10 Mar 07
Ahh yes, the ideal partner. Have we not all dreamed of our prince charming, I have.
Yet he is elusive. Romeo Romeo, where fore art thou? Am I creating an illusion of the perfect lover, one who will match me, desire me, devour me, laugh with me, hold my heart, encourage me, reflect me, love me and allow my vulnerabilities and still love me, and love me.
To ask another human being to be this for me, what am I asking? They would need to be a god, do I ask too much? Am I putting my heart in a castle that is in the air?
Until I portray the qualities of this ideal lover, then he will not come. And until I can be these qualities then I will always be looking for my lost half.
@Tammuz (347)
• Romania
10 Mar 07
I agree with all you've said above.But I find it so sad when I see couples that are giving each other fake qualities just to make the other one "fit well" in their image of the ideal partner.
I also have a "prototype" in my head.But I see people the way they are without trying to change them or give them some illusionary quaities.But I am lucky..I found pretty fast the ideal partner for me.Don't you think so? *wink*
@Tammuz (347)
• Romania
10 Mar 07
*hugs*(this comes from both of us):
You are not selfish,you just finally received what you deserved and we are both so happy for you!
I,we know how it is to wake up in the morning and smile while facing life.
I know that my darling told you how we got started :)..after both having terrible relashionsips with other people.5 years of nightmare.Both of us got cheated,lived sorrounded by big fat lies,suffered,etc.Our paths had cut across before,but we never thought we will end up like this *smile*.And you know what?It might sound as a clichee..but "if it's written in the stars" it will happen eventually.We ended up together,we healed each other wounds without asking anything in return.And after 3 years,we still live in a modern fairy tell lol.
Those horrible experiences tought us to have no great expectations and start accepting each other,to give and receive without asking it.We take things the way they come and are.Because we don't expect anything..we cherish so much all the little gestures and we thank divinities for giving us the greatest present ever:ourselves.
Through comparation,what we are doing is similar to dogs: a dog with no master,who lives on streets will cherish even more a piece of bread than a beautiful champion dog who's used to be admired and to have the best of all for him.Everybody says that a dog from the streets is more loyal and loving than other dogs.He cherishes things he didn't have and he knows to appriciate the smallest gesture of love or the smallest bone you throw him.That goes to humans,also.
We both thank you for your beautiful post.And please don't feel sad.You are a wonderful man who can finally be happy.Carpe diem! :)
The end :))))
1 person likes this
@monkeywriter (2004)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I'd say I have a prototype but not down the detail. I will probably fall for any guy who is dark haired with brown or blue eyes since all my crushes both movie star and real life have been in that area *L*
But I'd say just some basics. Must be a christian, and a strong one, taller than me (at 5'5" I am kinda short!), up to 4 years older or 1 year younger than me (might make an exception of up to 3 years younger there is the this guy at church kinda cute... 3 yrs younger *L*), has a sense of humor of his own and enough to get mine, and collect something or at least doesnt mind I collect A LOT of things (mostly toys!).
Guess that about covers it. I try not to hold these standars too high. But these of which are important most are the christian thing, the sense of humor, and except my collections thing. I'd bend on age, and height (please be at least my height *L*!). :)) But never go as far as to describe to the detail what I want him to be! Cause none are perfect except God and my standards arent too high at all I dont think!
1 person likes this
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
10 Mar 07
Can i "moo" here a little bit dear?
Thank you !(heheheh).
No i don't ever had one and it's because i like to explore and i'm a curious person...so for me it's a quest to see "what's out there".
Of course in this "cave-dwelling" i had to stop sometimes , right?Not because i got tired...but when you strike something worth "mining" then you must .And i'm not talking here about fool's "gold" , who just happpen to have a validity label on it (from minutes to 5 years top ; i discovered that!!!) , (check it out for yourself....it's a label somewhere there, if it's not then you're on the right track).Of course it can also happen that the label is set on your "finding" too...but untill further notice (that label don't just "drops in" on you) just relax and enjoy.
I told you dear that i can explain my love to you.SEE?
Now i will be excused a litle bit....i'm running away form home.(hehehehe) HUGS & KISSES DEAR !:)
1 person likes this
@Tammuz (347)
• Romania
10 Mar 07
Oh you...you..you....you little ...!!!!Here I go trying to make a good discussion..and you come with your puzzles!(for those who didn't realised that yet..I am joking here)
Yes,I discovered myself that it last up to 5 years lol.
I am relaxing and enjoying..but where are you running mister?*throwing tentacles* You are stuck with me here...for now!So you will RELAX AND ENJOY also.No one is pressuring you...=))))))))))))
1 person likes this
@runite0slash (29)
• United States
10 Mar 07
well lots of people think they could be that perfect prototype but just about everyone has at least one major flaw i mean it would be incredibly hard to have every good aspect that people want...
but well yeah nobody is perfect so yeah!
