For the Wifes and Mothers out there

I know how you feel. it is normal for a new mom or when raising kids ages o-5 years old that you need to be with them almost all your time, as if you're a nanny. but when they're 6 or 7 up you can do things a bit freely. try to enjoy it. love it coz when they grew up you'll miss your bonding moments together. also those feelings are normal for you're still adjusting to your role as a wife and a mother at the same time and if you have a career it will also be affected in som ways

I am just a 18 year old girl but i definitely understand what you feel . My mum always tell me about this . She say she was like a maid since she get married to my dad . Everything is incharge by her . Without her , everything will go wrong . Don't worry , every mum is the best . Your sacrifies will be noticed someday when your baby is at my age like me . Me , my sister , and my brother understand my mum and how tired she is . Now , we are trying our best to make her happy and feel relax . Just be patient .

as for me, it's just aprt of being a mother now. you can talk to him and tell him you feel that way. in that way, he will understand your situation and will do something about it. he's your husband and he will do things for you. yes, it will all go back to normal, especially when your child is bigger and knows how to walk and play.

Well, he makes me feel this way, but he cooks and does some of the cleaning (after all the cats) when "he" feels like it. The cleaning part has to be on "his" terms. As far as everything else you said, it is so true. I'm actually getting pretty sick of it and feel like booting him out. I don't need to mother a second child. I already have one of those, and they are more adorable and charming than he will ever be.

I did not feel that way.Yeah i watch my kid but i like what i do.My husband help me a lot,sometimes he help me cleaning the house or watch the baby.If his off from work we go out and eat together.That is not good if you will not talk,your a partner,a partner should help each other.If i'm in your situation, i will also feel that way.He should trait you like his partner or his wife not like a maid.

Sadly, that's pretty normal in my house. I cook, clean, and care for the kids. HJe watches TV and sleeps.

I think guys are OK with life being that way. Men don't need to talk or go out and have fun with their wives. My husband does not even consider me to be one of his friends even though we have been together for nearly 20 years and we were friends prior to dating. I guess that does change once we put on th eole wedding band. Not sure why but I guess they don't mind.

Yes, I do. I also feel like a maid. It is like I am home and all they have to do is leave things lay around for me to clean up. I am not and will not be their maid. I will do normal cleaning, but they can take things they get out or take off where they go. My husband is also working 12 hours a day, so picking up after him I will do, without complaining. I do miss him being around and having alone time with him. We have a child with CP and now is too big for alot of people to want to take care of, so our times alone and going to do things, just the two of us, is about extinct. I don't know if we will ever get back to doing things just the two of us and I do miss it.

It is normal, but to go back to being the way it was means work. You must communicate with your husband about this. Find time, even if it is hard, to do something special together. Maybe a romantic meal when the baby is asleep. Maybe greet him at the door all sexy. Marriages take work to be happy. I have been married for over 30 years, and am very much in love with my husband, as we both work on the marriage, and don't take eachother for granted. If we feel the other is, which is natural over time too, we talk about it. It is not good to harbor ill feelings. Don't forget to rate the best response with the one you are happy with, that helped you the most. Good luck sugar. It'll be okay.

Yes I do sometimes too. I think its mainly because you are stuck up with kids the whole time. We both hardly speak to each other about anything these days. seems like romance has flown out of the window. today only I was trying to share something funny I had watched on a TV show -he told me he does not want to hear it. I felt so hurt and when I said are you sure, he said he does not like that programme and does nmot want to talk about it. Its always the same, what I watch he will not and what he watches I just tolerate so that atleast I can sit with him for few minutes. after the kids we have stopped sharing everything. Only meaningful conversations about taxes and finances are done and we have just stopped being silly together like we used to.

yes i feel like that everyday but we do talk and we do go shopping together but he doesn't play with kids or take them out just buy them sselves and go do things it just gets me mad but i don't say anythign and just let it go. we do have a busniess together that we work with each other to have people take a look at

I feel like that. I am 20 years old, have a 10 month old and pregnant again. Dont get me wrong i love taking care of my 10 month old, and love being pregnant, but it seems that all my hubby wants to do is work, eat and sleep, and on his days off, go fishing. It gets tiresome after a while, and i just feel run downed and useless, most of the time. I have no time to myself. i dont feel pretty anymore, and its always everyone needs me, but when i need something no one has time for it.

i'm a wife but not yet a mother. i have no compaints for my hubby.infact he does more work at home than i do. he says he can't sit doing nothing, be it at home or at office. i think he wont let me feel like a nany or a maid even when i'll become a mother.but if then, time demands to work like a nanny and not maid,then i'll happily do that. as i know those efforts will be like a long-term investment for me. i believe both the partners should help each other as much as possible instead of being a couch potato. you also show love and concern for each other this way.

YES, I feel that way all the time now. If it isn't for my one year old making a mess or wanting something, it's her Daddy and he can be a bigger baby than she can. I can't tell you when the last time I ate a hot meal, had a long bath, or anything for myself for that matter. It's an on going battle at my house, if I ask my boyfriend to help pick up after himself it's like WW3 had broke out. I am always running around after someone, seeing to others needs, and catering to others. What about me? You cook, clean, and work and in between all that you have all the other things to do errands, phone calls, doctors appointments so yeah I do feel that way. Thanks for letting me vent.

yes, when my children were growing up I often felt like that but when they finally grew up and left home I felt that I should not of felt that way at all and wish I could do it all over again. Oh my husband always helped out when he was not working so it was good for me in that way, but something he would have to work 10 days straight and this is the time that I felt like that, no it is not normal but some men are like that unfortunately. Hopefully things will change for you.

It is normal. Once you have kids your life is pretty much on hold for the most part taking care of them and the home. The trick is to have a partner that lends a hand. Of course, it is best to disbuss this before the kids come along but many don't realize the changes that will occur. My husband always helped with the kids and he helped do some of the chores. This takes the full load of the wife and mother. It does help alot! Of course, there will still be days when all you want to do is scream, that is normal too. Just walk away for awhile, take time for yourself and it will work out. We also made sure to find time for just the 2 of us. Even if it was just a walk for 1/2 hour. A nice meal out or a movie. Stay in touch with each other. Most of all is to have respect for each other and never lose sight of the fact, you are a family and can work anything out if you truly want to. :)

I know how you feel. My husband actually does a lot of the cleaning, but sometimes he acts like it's a HUGE deal. I don't think he would do as much if he hadn't actually heard the doctor say it was so bad for my back to bend over for things like laundry and loading and unloading the dishwasher. But he thinks his work is so much more important than mine, just because he does his at a regular Monday-Friday job. I only "work" on Saturdays according to him, because those are the only days I'm working outside of our house. He seems to be missing the fact that I stay home and take care of and play with our son everyday and still manage to bring in around $500 a month from working online, just during naptimes and after the baby's in bed. That's more than I would be bringing home after daycare if we took him to the CDC and I still worked my 30 hour week at the barber shop. But when I was working there, he seemed to expect less. Now he always says he's too tired to do stuff. We do try to still go out at least every other weekend. We take the baby with us, but it's still nice to go out and let someone else cook our food for once. Then we don't have to argue about who's turn it is to cook. I do cook most of the time, but generally it's his responsibility on weekends since I work then and he doesn't.

Oh... I recognize that. somehow a bit after second kid was born we fell into that trap. It was bad too, and together with other problems we had at that time it almost destroyed our marriage. Looking back I can see I was frustrated and tired and resenting the fact that I had a job outside the home too, but also all the extra work at home, and the kids as well, and he didn't seem to be helping much. Now he was feeling that I was concentrating so much on the babies that I was leaving little time for us as a couple. Both of us were right, and both of us were wrong. And yes.. thing did get back to what could be called normal. Actually after a while they got to even better than normal... trying to compensate I suppose:) My best suggestion from having been there? Don't clam up, communicate what you're feeling to him, let him tell you what he's feeling. This was the only way we were able to finally get things to work out at that time.

Honestly, I can't say I feel this way lol. My kids and I spend a lot of time together doing fun things at the weekend. But as soon as they're in bed, I'm not a mother, I'm a partner and I like to snuggle up with my man. He makes it a point to make me feel special, and he reassures me every single day that he loves me. During the week, things are a little different. the kids are in school and my partner works. But we eat after the kids are in bed for the night, and he cooks a couple of nights to give me a break. It's about balance and finding a routine that works for everyone involved. It seems like you need to talk to your husband and ask him for help. You can't be expected to do it all alone. Ask why you don't do things together anymore. You might be surprised by the answer. Good Luck.

It's common thing to happen when you just married and have a children. You can do something about it though.. The key is communication with your partner.. My husband and I have decided that if we are going to make this marriage work we have to help each other. So he helps me with the chore every day by clearing out the table after dinner and put everything in dishwasher. It is also his job to play with our two year old after dinner until his bed time and he has to bring him to bed. It's not a lot of thing that he does but really helps. We also decide to hire baby sitter once a month just to have a quality time together.. Good luck to you I hope you can communicate with him sooner rather than later..xx