Need to remember the following in LIFE

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1. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY 2. Three FASTEST means of Communication : Tele-Phone Tele-Vision Tell to Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE. 3. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends. 4. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him. Moral : BE SPECIFIC 5. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ? It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends. 6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. 7. If you do NOT have a Girl /Boy Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life. 8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE. 9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL. 10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake. 11. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.