I am in a triangle
By blue_fairee
@blue_fairee (236)
Pakistan
7 responses
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Mar 07
I have been in your position before and I think in the long run you would probably be happier to just leave him. Unless you don't worry about the wife finding out some day about you and having a confrontation with her, or you are prepared to always be 'the other woman' not being legally married to him, missing him on all the special days like valentines, christmas, thanksgiving etc.. which you would expect him to be spending with his legal wife so to speak, otherwise you have better think twice before committing yourself to him even further. You need to evaluate your priorities and know what will make you happiest then make your decision based on that. For me, I don't want to have an underground relationship. It can be very lonely and frustrating. I hope you can think through this clearly and positively and put your interest and happiness first place. Good luck dear.
1 person likes this
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 07
You are very right. I am facing all this what you mentioned here. But in our society one can keep two legal wives, if his first wife agreed on this. But in my case, his wife doesnt accept me yet. But he said he is trying to sort out things for me. But taking decision to leave him is really really something i cant think about yet. It needs alot of courage that i m missing. But i also dont want to have an underground relationship.
1 person likes this
@Anakata2007 (1785)
• Canada
11 Mar 07
hmmm. my opinion is that the person you are in love with should be making the decision and soon. Until then, you need to stop seeing him until the decision is made. If he doesn't maek teh decision then THAT is your answer...he chose HER. He chose to stay with his wife. I'm sorry, but I tink that's all you can do.
1 person likes this
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 07
But i dont want to break a house. What i want is to include myself in this family without harming anyone. I know that will be hurting too. But i guess we would be able to sort out a better way out.
@sahira (1071)
• Philippines
11 Mar 07
If i were you,i'll stop loving that guy since he is already married to the girl of his own choice..it would be unfair to his wife,and breaking a family is not good.Just keep on moving and who knows,a right guy will come in your way!goodluck.
1 person likes this
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 07
hummm you are right, breaking a family is not good. I dont want this either. I want to be part of that family. And he dont want me to move out. I tried alot of times only for his happy family life, he never let me to move.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
11 Mar 07
He may also be in love with you, but there is no way he can "also be committed" to you. You can not be committed to two people at once. To be committed means "only one." I would never even start to fall for a man who was already involved with someone else.
1 person likes this
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 07
But when our friendship started , i didnt know at that time that he is already engaged to someone else. If i ever knew that i would also never even start to think about him. But now i m in all this what i m facing. And i didnt come here on choice. But now i m in and facing all this. In our society a man can be committed to two woman at a time. This is acceptable if his wife agrees.
@pranesh245 (309)
• India
11 Mar 07
Its really very sad that you love a prson whose love is divided.The similar committments don't have branches.If your committment is for your love there is only one committment.you could be committed towards other relation but for the same relation you can't be committed to two different persons.If one day he will have to choose one of you what would happen?Whom will he leave,since he has to.talk to him directly.You could be freinds but committed relationship can't be established between you if this is the situtaion.
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 07
ya i understand and i really know that if someday he will have to choose one of us, that would be his wife. i also told him this directly and told him that he would be justified in doing so. But till today he accepted me infront of his wife and told her that he cant let me move out but he also told her that he neither let her to move out. Life is really strange, one never know what could be next. and we never select the pain for ourselves but things happened.
@Phlamingho (7825)
• Denmark
11 Mar 07
The best thing you can do is have your fun and if he's not willing to leave you for her, than that's that, find someone else.
@blue_fairee (236)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 07
Sorry i dont fully understand what does you mean? Can you explain little bit for me.
