Relationship splits - can you still be friends???

hi honey,i think it's amazing the way u 2 are,i think it proves that if u have kids u can surprise yourself at how u can get on sometimes...ok maybe it can start off a bit shaky to begin with but u have a great relationship now and gerry has a wonderful friend(maybe not as good as the 1 i have mind u). as for my previous husband(aka f***wit)well...that's never gonna happen...is it?...love u loads.XXX

Very too often when a couple split it is acrimonious and the two will go separate ways, and especially if there is a messy divorce and children are involved, it very hard to remain friends. It can be complex, especially if the other partner has found someone else. So it's good that you are maintaining a friendship. I have never to be honest kept in touch with my ex, most of my exs have been manipulative and mentally abusive so I was grateful to escape them. I did stay in contact with one but it didn't work, as they started to be funny with me when i found someone else, I just didn't need to aggro. Good if it works for your good self, but I'd rather the clean break totally!

well -- this idea never came to my mind tat exes oculd e friend,,, but thanks to the mylot ocmmunity, it really helped me develp this new insight and I have now started believing firmly that exes can definitely be firends and why should't they be ---- see we should understand something---commitment, marriage, and such relations require a lot of mutual interference and hence compatibiltiy..... but the simplest of all the relations is the friendship -where u actually dun require any commitment, no consistency to --coz everything starts happening to you automatically.... and you start developing better relations --tha is why we say na that frienship comes in when love leaves you....right!!! but definitely a good discussion.....worth a '+'....rated!!!!

When my ex-husband and I divorced I guess I was very lucky that everything was pretty amicable. It took a lot of time for both of us to realise that we were better off as friends though, and I do regard my ex as a friend now. He even gets on ok with my new partner too, at least on the phone.

I think it depends on the person and the nature the nature of how the relationship ended. I personally don't speak to any of my ex's anymore accept for one because I don't appreciate my boyfriend keeping close contact with any of his ex's and I have seen from personal experience that it can cause a lot of conflict in the new relationships you are involved in. The one ex I do keep in contact with is my running partner and whenever I need emotional support, he has always been there. However, I have accepted that leaning on him for emotional support may not be in my best interest and it is definitely not in the best intererst of my relationship. You have child with your ex husband so it is completely different. I suppose you just need to make sure that the line between friend and ex is not ever blurred.

My x is the nicest guy.We are not together because we realized we married each other for the wrong reason and were never in love.He lives across the country from me but I know I could call on him If I needed to.We will always be friends.I think that's really the best way. Works for me. R

I havn't got an Ex pal but I do know that your Ex will know what a brilliant mother you are and how much you care about your children , why wouldn't he be your friend? i would immagine it is much nicer for your son too that you all get on , It will make things a lot easier for them both xx

Well in my case the answer is no as there is to much Bitterness on my part. 21 years I tried to make it work and I couldn't and at times I feel like a total Failure. We are civil to each other, he has moved to Tennerif so I very rarely hear from him now. But I do know a few People that are very good Friends after being Divorced. Maybe one Day I will be able to forgive but right now I can't.

I am not friends with my ex taht Iw as with for 4 years, but he was abusive and also left me with alot of debt - but i do belive that it is possible and you are proving it with your story as well!

Yes I am. The wierd thing is I am in more contact with my ex father-in-law we exchange emails all the time but my ex-mother in law want have anything to do with me. She never liked the fact that I was foriegner and wished her son had married his hihj school sweetheart. To make matters worse or funny (I think funny) he remarried a Ukranian!!!

Well I was married previously to another man but my ex never gave any money to support our children but he did I must admit buy them new clothes, but when I got remarried it was a different tune as then he paid more money and gave more clothing but that was because he wanted me back but that was his mistake and so today we are not friends any more and he has returned back to his country, and thank goodness for that as his children know exactly what he did for them, and it also took him years to say the words I love you to them and they couldn't believe it when he did and he only said this because he was leaving my country tor good.

That would depend on how well you parted. If you can part amicably, you can still remain friends. In my opinion, that would be for the best.

I would think the fact that both you and your ex can remain as friends is because both of you still respect each other and appreciate each other for what each has done. In this case, there is a child who helps to bring 2 people together as friends. I have known of couples who are not so lucky. It is rather hard to be friends especially when one party leaves the house abandoning the children. It would be rather hard to remain as freinds as long as there is bitterness and hurt faced by one party, and the parting is out of no freewill. Otherwise, there is less likelihood of parting :P

As already mentioned I think it depends on how the relationship ended and if there are children involved. One of my friends is still very good friends with her ex husband. It works for them and her new husband is friends with him too, but maybe that is the exception. Personally I'm not friend with my ex but thats because it ended nasty and I don't see the point of having the constant reminder, I'd just rather put it all behind me and get on with my life. Its good that you and your ex have managed to stay friends despite what you have both been through. That is good for your child, I remember my parents never getting on when I was growing up and it was just a nightmare and really affected me. I don't think there is anything wrong in staying friends if that works for you both.

I think it's possible, but I really think it depends on several factors. Mostly why the relationship ended, how bitter the two are over how and why it ended. Just pretty simple things. Sometimes people are just better off being friends. Some people just don't work well within a relationship.

If you reallyt wnna be friends then don't split up,if he is your good friend then he will understand yiu and you wiull hqave a great relation ship thats what I believe

well you can but it is problematic somtimes it is better to let things cool down and then see if you can be friends cause if it is right after there is a possibilitty that one side is still in love and that is his or her way of continuing this relationship but i can say that with my last realtionship i did what i just described and after about a year we returned to be very good friends..not the best ..but very good ones:) about exes ( ex boyfriend+exboyfriend of the same lady we are talkin' about) being friends ofcourse i think that could be and i know some cases of it and it is working just fine:)

it depends on which terms the relationship ends..I am friends with an ex.....another one hates me

I think it depends upon the foundation of your relationship. There are people who may not be able to accept the fact that exes can be friends. But, if the relationship was founded on friendship, maybe both parties will find it easy to forgive and forget although they can't be together anymore. Moreso, for a married couple with sons/daughters, i think it will be better if the children will see that their parents are friends inspite of the fact that they are separated. At least, they can easily accept the situation.

ya u should maintain your friendship with ex, because relationship should never die. Friendship is best relation.