why I always feel upset and lonely?
By kesibaby
@kesibaby (16)
China
March 11, 2007 10:31pm CST
I think I was born as a lonely girl,I always feel lonely and upset,I am the only girl in my family,but I think my parents don't like me,maybe they are unsatisfied with me,they don't think I am excellent enough,they keep on blaming me for tiny things,for example,they don't allow me to take shower in the morning,because they consider that it is not the proper time to take bath,I feel so annoyed...they even forbid me to watch American movies,they say I am a betrayer...I have no idea,why everything I do and I like is wrong,I am so upset,I can't make myself understood by them,I hate staying at home,I always feel the pressure and fear,be afraid of beingg blamed and controled...they never know that what evil things I experienced these years,I had sufferd from several unsuccessful love accidents,I have to hide all of the painful memories in my mind and pretend to be happy before them...they always say ,they love me,they want me to be perfect,though during so many years,they seldom encourage me or praise me,especially my father,he has been staring at my faults always and reluctant to say any good words to me even I make progress and good achievements,it seems that he takes it for granted,and I wouldn't be forgiven if I do something wrong or defect,many times I doubt the fact that if they really love me?why they always make me feel upset and nervous?my melonchaly can't be cured,and I am always feel hopeless and depaired...around me there are many contemporaryies and teachers like me and give me high praise,they consider me as a smart ,intelligent ,kind,innocent gilr,but I don't know why my parents despise me so much,I have no status and no right to speak at home,maybe in their eyes,I am a loser and a shame to them...the only thing I can do is to leave this place,leave them,to live alone,it will be far more better I think,why I am so unlucky?why I suffer so much?I don't know how long I can endure...and I hope there will be a considerate man in future love me and take care of me,the most important of all,to get rid of my constant pain deep in my heart!
1 person likes this
1 response
@shogunly (1397)
• Libya
12 Mar 07
Your parents are the best people in your life . While you still have them with you ,instead of whining about the way they do not pamper you enough ,like the spoiled girl you apparently are ,try to have conversations with them ,try to care about THEM for a change ,instead of only caring for yourself .Try to learn about them as people , how they think ,why they think that way ,learn about their childhoods and how they met and what hopes they had for you . Maybe that will help with the ache in your heart you are talking about . Also I want you to look for a dictionary and look up this word : ANGST
@kesibaby (16)
• China
12 Mar 07
sorry,this morning I felt quite angry because my skin felt itching so I wanted to take shower but my mum didn't agree,she said it's not the proper time to do it in the morning,if I took bath,I would feel tired and didn't want to do anything but sleep,she told me to take bath at night before going to bed,I felt angry that she interfered so much,so I wrote the impolite words,now I feel much better,you are right,parents are the best people in my life,and they will never do harm to me.I will remember your words and cherish all the people who really love me,thank you.
