Loosing yourself over the person you love
By sutan74
@sutan74 (1112)
Philippines
March 12, 2007 9:24am CST
Have you ever experience loosing yourself and giving up evrything to the person you love. Especially career, family and friends??? They say that when you love, we have to make sacrifices and change our personality to please that person we love and marry. I think women must leave some sense of self preservation not become someone our partners wants us to be. Or else we would hate ourselves in the end and blame our husbands for it later on.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Paulinha917 (47)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I agree that women shouldn't change who we are just for the sake of being with someone. We should be loved for who we are not for who they want us to be. Our personality should never change. I think, however, that sometimes in marriage you do have to make compromises. But both husband and wife need to make those compromises. I left my family and friends and moved across the country to be with my husband. That was a choice I made because I love him and want to be with him. I miss everyone back home so much but I'm happy with my husband and our baby. But I would never change who I am. I am the same way now as I was before he met me. And if he didn't like that then he wouldn't have married me in the first place. I agree that if a woman changes herself for her husband she would end up blaming the husband and that marriage would never be a truly happy one.
@sutan74 (1112)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Yes compromises are important in a relationship. Also husbands must be considerate with us too. When I'm out with my friends I'm telling my husband that I need that time off to enjoy and be myself too. And I'm glad he respects me with my request. My friends are my outlet since I'm a full time mommy and staying in the house all day makes me wanna cry my head off. LOL
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
12 Mar 07
You are so right, that is exactly how women behave, and I believe it is a concept that we were raised with.. that in order to please you husband you must do what ever it takes, and 10 years down the road he trades you in because you are not the woman he married, and that is because you no longer have the energy to be some thing you are not, or you are some thing completely different from the woman he married. I hate the work sacrifice, because when it is said by some one else they do not mean then selves rather you. I am not sure how to overcome this terrible injustice to women, because women are also raised to believe that if they do not have a man at their side then there is some thing wrong with them. You can not win. I of course speak from personal experience, But I did find myself and I am sorry I ever gave up my identity, and do not think any one should give up theirs to please someone else ever
@tmptmmoi (16)
• India
17 Mar 07
I must congratulate you for openning such an endearing discussion for retrospective. Sacrificing and accepting losses is not for the poor hearts, it requires broadness and strengths. I cannot disclose the truth in the public place to project am as poor. So guess....
