Useful Hints & Tips

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- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. - If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. - Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. - Avoid arguments with the Missus.. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. - For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Note: Remember to use a timer. - Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the headache. - Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use Duct Tape. Remember:* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.*Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.*If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.*And finally, be really nice to your family and friends;you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.