A Bad Day at Hallmark
By AskAlly
@AskAlly (3625)
Canada
March 13, 2007 12:42am CST
I saw this and had to share it with you -
What happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?
Check out these cards!
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Card #1
My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat,
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Card #2
Heard your wife left you;
How upset you must be,
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me!
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Card #3
Congratulations on your Wedding Day!
(Too bad no on likes your husband)
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Card #4
How could two people as beautiful as you...
Have such an ugly baby?
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Card #5
I've always wanted to have,
Somone to hold,
Someone to love,
After having met you....
....I changed my mind.
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Card #6
I must admit,
You brought religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell,
Until I met you.
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Card #7
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, & West Virginia)
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Card #8
Happy Birthday!
You look great for your age...
..almost lifelike!
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Card #9
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Card #10
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
Did you ever find out who the father was?
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Card #11
So you're daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay!
2 people like this
10 responses
@hellsangelus (670)
• Oman
13 Mar 07
Ooooh I love these. Heres some more:
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take the knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...that you're not here to ruin it for me."
"Being your best friend I feel bad your landlord evicted you today, sorry I dont have the room for you, so dont even think about coming here to stay."
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
16 Mar 07
ROFL. I love the one about getting the knife out of my back!! Good stuff,good stuff.
1 person likes this
@Methodless (882)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
Some of these are old, but that's so much LOL.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
13 Mar 07
These fill a need and that is what Hallmark has been all about. They are in danger due to e-cards and am glad that they are becomeing so closely in tune with their purchasers. Too bad they have been so expensive to me. A couple of these would be useful to me.
1 person likes this
@patootie (3592)
•
17 Mar 07
Blimey ... and someone will actually buy those and send them .. whatever next .. !!
I can see some have a 'funny' side .. but most would have me ripping the card up and never speaking to the sender again ..
I hate having to buy cards at the best of times .. as you can never find just the right card .. all either too slushy and gushy words or stupid and putrid words ...
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Those are hilarious! I have never seen these. I especially love the 'Happy Birthday Uncle Dad." Having moved to Kentucky a few years back, I found out that sadly, there if often truth to all the jokes. I have copied and saved these, as I have many friends who will appreciate seeing them. Thanks again for a great chuckle!
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Heheh those are good. I enjoy reading them and getting a chuckle. I've also seen some like it titled "Cards you'll never see from Hallmark". Either way though they are cute and worth sharing with others. Two thumbs up on these :)
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
13 Mar 07
LOL
Oh my gosh. Those are terrible. Are they for real. I love halmark cards but I would never purchase one of those. LOL
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Mar 07
These are great and certainly better than some of those mushy, insincere, insipid greetings you mostly find in cards.
I quite often buy those that just have "Happy Birthday" written inside then write...."To whoever ....from" or "hugs" or some other sentiment and then my name.
I mean, it's the thought that counts..right? All that mushy twaddle is mostly unneccessary in my book.
