Marriage.. Bond or Freedom.. ?

well i think marriage is the extension of freedom in many different ways ...its just gives life the new meaning and u tend to understand so mant things ..well i always said ..though marriage is not easy ...its a continnuing efforts

I have been married for eight months, granted that is not a lot of time, but in the past eight months my life has changed considerably. My husband is in the army and was given orders to deploy for Iraq...when we got the news we decided to get married...and we didn't tell anyone. It was a very hard secret to keep. We announced to everyone that we were engaged and planned on getting married when he returned. When he did return we had three weeks before the big day...then he received orders to deploy again. HA! I was crushed...here I was thinking I was about ready to begin my life with someone I loved very deeply and it felt like it had all been ripped out from under me. We eventually told everyone that we were already married and he left again and has been gone for almost three months with no exact return date. It has been very difficult but we both have a good attitude about it. There is a romance in waiting for the one you love...there is the hope of a future together...that's what keeps us going. The best marriage advice I have ever received is give 100% and expect 0%. Now, that may seem unfair...but in my situation it works. I sometimes feel like I got the short end of the stick...I'm stuck here waiting...putting my life on hold...and with the divorce rates these days, I wonder if it is sometimes worth it. With communication at a minimum I have to be creative...sending packages and emails...I try to write him every day. What do I get out of it? A phone call every other day...might not seem like much but that thirty minute phone call lets me know that it is all worth it. I don't feel like I have lost any freedom whatsoever by getting married. I want to experience everything in my life with my husband...he's my best friend. We actually have a list of dates and weekend trips we are going to take advantage of when he returns. He is the love of my life...but he's not my whole life. That's very important...to have things you both enjoy doing outside of eachother. You have to have a happy medium of dependance and independance.

Well you would expect me to have a jaded view. I was in a relationship for nearly 7 years, got married and after that it lasted less than a year. I'm not though. I dont believe it was entirely to do with getting married that made things go wrong. I didn't lose any freedom or friends because of it. I believe if the rules change after a couple marry it is becaus eone partner or both believe things will change and have expectations. For example if they think ther eis something about their partner that will change and are amazed it doens't happen. Some peopel also become more possesive after getting married or controlling ot get delayed wedding jitters. I had focused so much on getting my home and organising my wedding that i realised once i ran out of little projects that i wasn't actually happy. I had settled down too young. How much marriage is a scentence or freedom is down to the individuals you can make it whatever YOU want it to be. The most important thing is simply to marry the right person and remmeber to work at it because nothing truly special comes easily