what to do?
By mnflower
@mnflower (1299)
United States
March 13, 2007 11:28am CST
Ok I have this friend she is 17 and been raised all her life by her grandparents..she was dating my stepson couple years back and me and her become friends(close) friends...she is no longer dating my stepson but we still are good friends and talk all the time..Just recently her grandmother has been super jealous of me and her daughters friendship, she says she isnt jealous yet all the signs are there...I am not sure what to do cause her daughter really counts on me to help her when she needs it. I am also friends with her parents and I am just not sure at this point what I should do...Should I just let her grandmother be jealous or should I back off some and make my friend go to her grandmother more? whether or not she would even do that I am not sure..I don't want to cause problems but my friend has issues and I really don"t want to let her down either by not being there.Any suggestions on what I should or possible could do?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@kitkat1 (1227)
• Canada
16 Mar 07
I would not back off if it was me and if your friend has alot of issues and find you someone to confide into dont discourage it. It is plain to see that she is not comfortable talking about her issues and problems with her grandmother or she would be doing it and she needs someone. That someone is you so dont let her down ok
@mari610 (360)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I would try to speak with the grandmother of this girl and let her know that just because she has found a friend and confidant in you, that does not mean she loves her grandmother any less. We all need different people in our lives, for different reasons. She has found a friend in you and by backing away from her at this point, would do more harm than good. She may even come to resent her grandmother, for her part in losing you as a very important person in her life.If speaking with the grandmother, does nothing to change her feelings, I would simply go on helping and being there for your friend.Afterall, you can always say you tried to make the situation better by speaking to her about it. It then becomes her problem,not yours.
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I would think that the young girl should decide on who she wants to talk to. The grandparents jealousy stems from insecurity, because they see you as some kind of threat. She may be able to relate to you better, so she feels comfortable coming to you for help.
You could express your concerns to her parents. But, apparently that might not do any good since she was not raised by them. I would continue to keep a relationship with the girl. The grandmother's problem is hers and not yours. By choosing to be around you more, it does not mean the the young girl dislikes her grandparents.
Perhaps the girl could explain to her grandmother how she feels about her relationship with you. She could reassure her grandmother that she still loves her and that the relationship with you is no threat to her.
@ekoorb4 (18)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I would say quit being friends with a 17 year old is step one. If my daughter was having a relationship with another adult woman there is a problem. Why are you worried about letting a 17 year old down. You've probably let your step son down by being "friends" with his ex girlfriend. Can you not find friends your own age? What is it about this girl that you feel the need to step in to a part of her life that is obviously her grandmother's responsibility. I am suprised that her grandmother has not told you to butt out.
@paresh44_44 (334)
• India
13 Mar 07
if possible clear ur and ur friend's relationship in front of her grandmother.
by leaving ur frieng just because of her grandmother is not a solution
@gbaben (509)
• Russian Federation
14 Mar 07
i would say that your friend is the one that is in good position to say her mind about her grandmother i believe if she is still interested in you friendship her gradma can not stop the relationship.
