What to do with a family member
@QualityBookReviews (63)
United States
March 13, 2007 2:07pm CST
I need some advice on how to handle a family member, mainly my cousin, she gets so upset and mad at nothing. I started doing book reviews, and tried to include her, then she decided I guess she was going to do the same and try to out do me once I gave her all the info on how to go about starting as a book reviewer. She is so dramatic about everything, and wants all the attention. We are not children nor teens I am 43 years old and she is 38 and I do not know how to go about handeling her. So today I wrote her an email telling her I never wanted to speak to her again or see her again (none of which is true) I also included that I truly loved her very much, but could not handle all the stress of her getting mad and acting like she does constantly.
She is one of those types that think she is perfect, her husband, and step daughter are all so perfect and everybody else is trash and benneath them.She also is the type that during a telephone conversation you cant say anything and she knows everything. I really would like to have a good close relationship with her but do not know what to do. Can anyone please give me some advice. Much appreciated.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
13 Mar 07
you are describing here a very difficult situation
did you try to talk to her about those things?
does she let you ak her questions? is it possible for you two to have a dailog or is it most of the time a monolog?
i read what you wrote a few times and i think she needs help, i am not sure that you can help her.
when i read what you wrote immediatly i saw a friend of mine that had the same problem
i am not a doctor but you check out if what i am going to describe you now fits her situation.
the problem is called: BPD
Borderline personality disorder
It is described by mental health professionals as a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior, and a disturbance in the individual's sense of self.
you should try and read about it on the net and see if she has the symptoms.
if she has them she will need to be treated.
@QualityBookReviews (63)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I know she has been seeing a psychiatris and a therapist for over 10 years but does not seem to be working.
I would really enjoy being able to talk to her but now am scared if we ever do talk again afraid to saying much of anything afraid she will get mad and upset.
I have been trying to talk to her for days but she refuses to talk to me and had her husband jump on me and he told me I would have to ask her why she is mad again but she will not talk to me by phone, email, messenger or anything.
She has not told me why she sees a psychiatrist or therapist but I will check that out, it may very well be.
Thank you for your response.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Why would you tell her something that you don't mean? Isn't that just as dramatic as she is being?
I suggest you stick with the never speaking with her again because she isn't going to change her basic personality. Whatever made her this way happened a long time ago and is probably set in stone. There are lots of wonderful people around that will be better for your mental health. YOu deserve better!
@QualityBookReviews (63)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I plan on standing by what I wrote her, but would really like to heal our relationship in order to be close. But I have my own problems which are many and just can not handle anymore stress or negativity in my life. I too am trying to heal due to post traumatic stress disorder and severe depression from prior 2 marriages both of which were violent - domestic violence, the 2nd marriage was the worst and has damaged me so severely it has been 8 years and I still react like it was yesterday. I long to have good true close relationships, not fake, bs, stuff, it just seems so hard to find good friends and true family members that each can rely on. I have not found any true friends unless they need or want something and what is so terrible my family is the same way. What has happened to family values?
