When you argue with your spouse, do you go to bed angry?

Yes it has taken my dad years to learn but she finally got thru. She would say same like that and it took him about 6-7 yrs but it finally got thru. Apparantly he stll does it but not so much anymore. He was scary once, but he learnt to simmer down so I can tell him more like a parent is supposed to be. My m um reckons I have married my dad, so wish me luck, I am glad I am too stubborn to give up! LOL

That's what I do too. We absolutely nust have time to stew and then simmer, but one of us will (not cave, but) certainly make ammends so that we can move on. After all, we have a lifetime ahead of us! ;~))

My husband used to do that. Scream first, ask questions later. I would just let him blow off steam and felt worse for it. I finally asked him in a very calm voice, "do you think I'm standing next door or something? Do you think I have trouble with my hearing? Are you capable of having a normal conversation without all the screaming?" I guess it made a point after a couple of demonstrations because he doesn't scream anymore. lol

i don't have a wife!

Sometimes I try not to talk but it gets the better of me and I have to say my piece. My dad won't talk for days and it drives my stepmum nuts as she is very emotional and needs to talk immediately and won't give up until something is sorted. It can get kind of frustrating especially if there is nothing good that's going to come out from your end then you are pretty much forced to say something that may come out in anger. I would rather be able to not say anything at all too.

so Fritz, do you disagree with the comment I just sent to Simmer in #1 post? Do you think it is not damaging to not speak to each other for several days? And after the several days of not speaking, do you and your wife of 20 years then sort through the mess htat was there, or do you just move on as if it didn't happen at all? My hubby and I dated 5 years and have been married 11. One or both of us still looks to resolve a situation before we move on, and usually THAT DAY.

I wonder if this is normal in most relationships. I hope to find out here. thanks for posting.

I suppose the saying different strokes for different folks would come into handy on this topic!The most important thing is that you keep the relationship alive and never stop tryin to make your relationship stronger!

True on both counts, but I have friends who have arguments, don't resolve them, don't speak to each other for several days (until they both simmer down) and then just never speak of it again. These couples end up having alot of garbage built up between them and have to face HUGE, threatening arguements every few months to release all the anger. And often they just do it all over again. I think that is not healthy at all, even if the relationship seems to still be alive.