Teenager part deux

If my son treated me like that in front of his friends, then I would send him packing. Your doing good by standing your ground and telling him that you will not buy it. If he wants it, he should earn it by doing chores around the house and getting paid a couple of dollars, or finding a part time job like a paper run or something like that. What is it with teenagers nowadays? they have no respect for their elders and they are so demanding and think just because their friends have it, that they should have it too?!? boy, if my brother did that to my mom, he would of gotten a slap upside the head and a telling off that's for sure!!!

I have a real good solution for teens that want something that I can not buy, and that I can not afford. It's called they have to find a way to earn some money, There are many ways for a teen to earn money, they can go get a work permit and start applying at every business in town. (that will hire teens, even apply at places that say they don't hire teens because sometimes they will) And if they apply and don't get accepted then they can count that application as practice. A teen even one in school can start their own business, (as soon as the weather is fitting for raking leaves, they can take a rake around the neighborhood and rake peoples yards, then later they can cut grass, they can help someone weed flower beds and gardens, they can walk dogs, they can babysit (this one I would use caution though, it takes a mature teen to babysit and not all of them can) Lets see since your teen seems to want to run off with the mouth at you, that tells me he has enough breathe and energy to read to people for pay, maybe even put on puppet shows at day cares, (but he will need to learn how to talk right and not belittle) As for me if my child tells me that I will buy him XXX and then demands I do amd tries to hold me accountable for where the household money is going, that child will find many things difficult. Because I can get very mean, I can get rid of all excess items and all luxury items, and many things that a teen believes are needs are luxuries. You son needs to learn that you are not the Bank of mom or the fairy godmother that will grant all his wishes anytime he wants anything. If he has the ability to play games and talk trash to you, then he has the ability to get off his high horse and find a legal way to earn money. There are many options he can try for very little start ip costs, I have even written an article about how to start a business on less than 12 dollars while at the same time putting a portion back for emergencies, and a portion for tithes, and have some left over to go get a soda. If someone wants something bad enough and is willing to work towards their goals most of the time in the United States it is possible. It is only not possible for people who sit around demanding someone else to give them what they want. Everyone needs to learn responsiblity and everyone needs to learn that they can work, and its better to learn this sooner in life rather than be fifty years still at home and making demands of get me this or get me that. By the way I have teenagers and I have applied this many times it works very well.

Wow. How rude and disrespectful he's being to you! Do not give in to him. YOU are the parent. He's acting like a spoiled, immature child.....which he is! He's still a kid! It is your job as a parent to stand your ground and discipline him. You don't have to explain to him why you can't afford something. That's none of his business. You do not have to listen to him belittle you. You are in control. Just tell him the you don't have the money for the backpack, end of conversation. If he continues bad mouthing you - tell him you will not accept being spoken to that way and hang up. When he gets home, ground him or punish him in some way. That kind of treatment of you is not okay. Don't let him engage you in an argument. You're the parent - what you say stands, this is not a negotiation. Teens can be a real handful and that's why it's so important to stand your ground. They need that guidance and discipline even though they don't think so at the time.

Maybe you should. I know that it is hard. But kids always think that the grass is greener on the other side and sometimes become so nasty that teaching them a lesson is the only way. It is very hard being a parent now a days let alone being a single parent. It also sounds like he thinks that it is cool to belittle you in front of his friends that is wrong. You have to be stronger with him and let him know that you are the parent and won't be talked to like that. Make him work and earn what he wants so that he can see the value of a dollar. I know it's hard because we just want to be able to give them anything and it hurts when we can't. But even if you had the money he needs to be taught that belittling somebody isn't the way to get something in life. Also ask him if he thinks his dad will get it for him why doesn't he call and talk to him that way. I bet he won't. Good luck. I would also call the school and see if there is a counseling place you can both go to together.

You are being held to ransom, blackmailed even. You cant give way to this pressure, it wouldnt do your son any good to benefit from his course of action. Im sure you love him very much and for him to develope into a responsible likeable adult he must learn that he cant treat you or any other person in his life in this way.

I know it has to be hard listening to him say that. I know you probably don't want to hear this but he is being disrespectful. My daughter use to think she could bully me into giving her what she wanted but I stood my ground and now she knows when I say no I don't have to give her a reason. I'm the parent and she is the child. When she has to work for it she can spend it anyway she wants but until then I'm the boss.

Just think of the handful of work you'd be inflicting on his father if he went there!! Maybe you should call his Dad and warn him ahead of time about the way your son is behaving. You need to stand tough. Stand your ground, and set some rules. If the bratty kid doesn't like it, tough crap! YOU are the parent, not him. Tell him when he starts earning his own money, he can do whatever the heck he wants with it.

Don't worry, lots of teenagers are like this. You just sit clamly with him and make him understand your problem. Don't talk rudely. I guess he will surely understand , if he cares for you.

is he old enough to get a job? some places hire 15 year olds, as bus boys, or newspaper jobs. anything... my son and his friends this past summer made a fortune buying people their groceries. they put flyers on windshields at a grocery store, and they had so much business they had to get more friends to help! if they want things (teenagers), if you don't give them everything, they will come up with a way (make sure its legal!)

I know it's scary and potentially painful but I would tell him then GO. You want to go with your dad go. You are absolutely right that It is none of his business what you do with your money. My 16 year old daughter pulls this crap all of the time. I guess that she thinks I'll be embarased and get her what she wants. NOT ( i really wish that we could bold ) Anyway tell him find a pt job and buy the thing he wants.

It would not hurt for you to show him just how your hard earned money is spent so he can understand that it does not grow on trees. On the other hand, he is very disrespectful. Send him to his father. Just do it!

I understand what you are going through, My son who is 16 constantly talks to me like I am stupid. He just quit his job, he dropped out of school and he gets mad when I put restrictions on things around the house (computer, tv) because he thinks I should let him do whatever. His friends called after 10pm last night and came over after 1030pm I had to go out and tell him that the rules are in this house no phone calls or visitors that late because we have to get up at 5 am of course he just belittled me in front of his friends which makes me want to just take his life away until he is 18. But I know I can't, I ended up just going to bed and reminding myself of all the things I love about my son. He also throws it in my face (when he is expected to do chores )that if his fathers parents let him live with them, if he can go. I am at the point where I would love for one of his fathers relatives (his father is in prison again)to have to live with him because I do not feel the counsling or him being on probation is causing him to look at his behavior at all. And I am Tired. OH and just an added note: His father has been in prison most of his life (10 years) and his fathers family has never contributed in any way to these children(I have 3 from him) It is really gutwrenching when my 16 year old throws them in my face because he thinks he has it so rough. When he does not, we are not rich but kids now days I do not think they recognize anything except for what they want. How my parents survived I do not know. All I can say is hang in there, I don't know how old your teenager is but just think one day the age 18 will be here then its either follow your rules or get your own place.

What your son is doing is emotional blackmail. Stand fast, don't give into him. He's not a baby anymore so he knows about finances. He might actually be feeling peer pressure but he is old enough to understand what he's doing.

how old is your son?? if he is old enough it is probably time he gets a job so he can buy what he wants and he can stop nagging you don't give into his demands. He will learn that no matter what he does or says you won't give in. claire

I know this is hard and I myself have gone through this and am going through this with money also. I think and I would do it if my exhusband were responsive. I think you should have his father come over and have him tell your son to get his things because he has to live with him because he cannot treat you the way he does and he will not tolerate him speaking to you the way he does. You cannot let him speak to you like this, it will only get worse. I have just told my son he needs to get a part time job, he will be 18 soon, and money is tight. I don't have money for everything he wants. I want him to start being responsible and know just how hard it can be to budget your money. Let us know how things work out. I know it's easier said than done. I have a hard time saying no myself.

Last year I told my then ten year old, "Do you see a money tree in the back yard?" She promptly wrote money tree on her birthday list and sent it to her grandmother. As I knew she would, she made a money tree with a bunch of sticks and wee baggies putting a coin in each one. I have to say that I am always saying "Just who is the parent here?" but I am saying it to my husband because he is a softy. I don't know what your son's father is like so I won't suggest you get him to ask his father because he could be like my husband and buy him whatever he wants. I will not tolerate being spoken to like that by my children. I have to beg my husband to support me. I can't remember the number of times I heard my father say, "Don't talk to your mother like that." It would be nice if my husband was the same way. He will if I push him. My almost 14 year old was craving pizza for dinner tonight. She begged me to order it. I had been thinking of it myself. The three of them had been painting my younger daughter's room all day. Then 14yo popped in with "I will pay for it. I have the money." Yes, she paid the 20 bucks and I paid the tip. She has a paper route and she babysits here and there. When she wants something badly enough she buys it herself. This past weekend I dropped the two of them off at the mall while I went to my writing group. My (almost) fourteen year old daughter bought her ten year old little sister a pair of pyjama pants, paid for with her own money. Little sister has some money, not sure how much, probably not enough for the pants. I was not asked for a reimbursement. My kids know that money is very tight and are pretty respectful of that. They know I am constantly trying to find ways to bring money in. We're going to have a Triple-B sale when the weather is nice - Books, Baked Goods and Beverages. Over this March break she is writing up all the books we have for sale and I will type them up on the computer. It also helped showing my daughter my ATM receipt... $30. She has more money in her bank account!