Are all eleven year olds this way?
By Dseacrest
@Dseacrest (203)
United States
March 14, 2007 11:30am CST
I never thought things would get this bad but hey, who am I to say. My daughter has gotten to a stage of jelousy, lying, getting in trouble at school and so on. It seems as if she is just trying to get to us. We talked to her about this and were told she hated us and that she didn't feel bad about anything. She feels that what she does is right. We finally went to her teacher and her after school teacher(a Psychologist) and she is working with us to get her back to our baby girl. Here is the kicker though. It is like she can talk herself out of any trouble with any teacher almost including the Psych. The same day we talked to everyone, she wrote a cute letter saying she was sorry and that she didn't mean to hurt us and then later turned around and started asking for her phone and games back. Ok, now why would I want to do that? I have also looked up since I took Psych to see if there is a possiblility that she has a problem. The closest I have found is ODD. Well, this child is pretty smart. She is in advanced reading and above average in most of her classes when she does her work. She also tends to hang out with much younger kids. She is eleven years old and in the 5th grade hanging out with 1st and 2nd graders.
We have tried everything and still can't seem to come to a conclusion. Psych's are out for she already talked to one and I also study Psych. Also, the rewards and good things are out too. We have literally tried everything but give her the world.
She also pretty much failed her state writing test that the kids are to take. Her teacher said that since it is sevierly off topic that it may not even be graded. She didn't even try. We asked her about it and we get this.... "I didn't feel like writing." or " I thought it was fine." Is it me or am I just crazy thinking that this will pass? Please any advice would be greatly appreciated because we are out of answers here.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
14 Mar 07
Actually what you are discribing sounds alot like what we went through with our middle
Son who was finally diagnosed At the age of 19 with Aspergers syndrome. We started having problems very similar to yours when he was 10 and trust me it only escalated until the court system and DCS had to get involved to help us. My son also was and is highly intelligent but has no social graces or remorse. He sees things so much differantly than other children at the time his age...hence hanging out with younger children that know no better. He never could see that he did anything wrong. Still he struggles even now with certian issuses with what is acceptable behavior and what is not.
Do yourself a big favor now before things get worse and research aspergers then get to someone and have it looked into. Good Luck
@Dseacrest (203)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Angel thank you for the response. You know I thought about that and now it makes me wonder. I will check into that. Thank you again.
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
20 Apr 07
It sounds like a medical condition more than anything that you are describing here ... she does need to be assessed. Start with the local doctor .. get tests done and then a new psychologist who specialises in children ... have her assessed which might mean observation or whatever. As she is smart .. it might be that she is bored with the work that she is being given at school ... so why try. Attention seeking could be an issue .. she wants something but does not know how to verbalise it ... in the sense that she does not know what she actually wants .. but knows that something is not right with her world.
I would be careful about taking a guess at what is the problem here ... write down the incidents as they happen .. and when you have that list, take it and her to the Doctor. Or see the doctor alone first and ask if he will take these things into consideration when your daughter is seen. Mention the last writing test and what happened there as well as her response and attitude. Your daughter is clearly manipulating you ... or trying to do so .. and this is what my daughters did when my ex and I separated.
Good luck ... remember she is coming up to pubety and that might be affecting her as well. It does funny things to children .. they are no longer little children .. she might be trying to hold back things a bit .. and to her thinking being disruptive, rude, mixing with younger children might do that.
@Dseacrest (203)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Hey, thank you. I appreciate your comment. I really think that she is trying to manipulate. Oh... and she passed her writing test. It is weird but she did. Her teacher didn't think she would pass it. She is doing better now though. I will keep you posted. Thank you.
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
14 Mar 07
its hard to say what is making her behave this way. it is very hard to take when a child does not do what we think they should. at that age they are becoming more independent,and try more things than normal.. i would say that its good that your on top of the situation and don't let it get any worse. Teenagers can sometimes put us over the edge. i know my daughter took years off from my life! its hard raising kids, and i applaud you for worrying, and trying to get help for her...good luck!
@Dseacrest (203)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Thank you. Yeah it just seems nothing we do is right. She does seem however to be acting somewhat better the last 2 days but how long it will last I have no clue.
@simplysue (631)
• United States
14 Mar 07
'We have literally tried everything but give her the world.'
I'm not a doctor,psychologist or anything of the sort.....just a mom. You said that your little girl is very smart. Perhaps she figures that she is getting all kinds of attention from every angle by acting out. Sometimes, kids will do this just for the extra attention even though the attention they are receiving isn't pleasant. I think, in your postition, I would try to discuss these issues with the other adults in her life but not with her. Try backing off completely from giving these issues any attention but when she does good, shower her with attention. I'm not talking about buying her presents or taking her places ........I'm talking about praise and hugs and telling her how proud you are of her. Please don't take offense to this post as no offense was intended. Best wishes to you and your family. :)
@Dseacrest (203)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Hey your absolutly right. Thing is we did try the extra attention and then she decided she hated everyone and just didn't want anything to do with anyone. Her report card was great but the attitude is a pain. lol, thanks for being straight with me. I appreciate it.
