Example of my Writing-Any Critique (good or bad-specific or broad ) welcome!

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The air outside was cold and brisk. She shivered as it cut through her clothes and smothered her skin. A blank car sat outside, waiting to take her away. Gabe opened the back door, Brian grabbed her shirt collar to throw her inside. "Hold it." Surprised, the three of them turned. Another man stood against the darkness, a flshlight blidning them, a gun aimed. "Back away from the car and let the girl go." Immediatly Brian did as asked and Melissa ran to the stranger. "Max," she whipsered when she was close enough to see his face. He grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him. "I said get away from the car!" Max yelled. Brian stood between the open door and the cars interior, shieled by the tinted window. Gabe stood frozen by the closed driver side door. "I'm not sure thats the best idea, at least until we know who you are," Brian said. "I'm not telling you a damn thing, now back away!" "I think you have the wrong idea son. Me and my partner here are cops, I can show you my badge." Brian reached for his coat pocket. "Don't do it!" Max ordered. Brian put his hands up in retreat. "Alright," Brian slowly lowered his hands behind the cars door. "You can come grab it for youself." Brian snuck his hand behind his back and grabbed the gun handle. He slipped the weapon out of his buckle and slowly raised it. He held in behind the darkened window. "I'm not moving, just back away from that car and get down on the ground!" Max slightly shook the gun as a threat. "What ever you say," Brian laughed. He took a step forward and whipped the gun over the window. Two, three shots as both guns fired. Melissa grabbed the sides of Max's jacket, ducking below his shoulders. Her eye's shut tight. What the..? Her eyes opened slowly as she held out her hand. A dark liquid covered her fingers. Melissa took a step backward. Max turned. His handsome eyes met hers. She scanned down her shirt. Two holes tore through his jacket, blood trickling from each one. He followed her gaze, and began to shake. She grabbed his shoulders as he fell to his knees. Melissa knelt with him. Tears filled her eyes, her lip trembled. Snow crunched. Brian stood behind them, gun held at his side. He raised it, resting the barrel on the back of Max's head. "No!" Melissa lunged forward.