What would you do? - for parents
By not4me
@not4me (1711)
United States
March 14, 2007 11:04pm CST
Okay. So. (I'm livid)
Last week our realtor's wife asked me and my two daughters over to their place for a cookout. We are all friends but we haven't been in touch much since my husband left for Iraq. My daughter asked, "Who are we going to see?"
"Dave and his kids."
"Who's Dave?"
"Don't worry...just some guy - you know the one who sold us our house?"
"Oh, Okay."
So today in school she went up to her teacher all excited and said, "Guess what? Tonight we are going over to this guy's house to eat dinner and he has five kids!" to which her teacher asked, "Does he have a wife?" knowing very well that my husband is in Iraq.
Did I mention my daughter is only in first grade? She came home today and wanted to know why her teacher asked if Dave had a wife! I was appalled and I don't know what I was more sickened over; my daughter's teacher eluding to her that I had a boyfriend on the side or that my awesome character was judged by some crappy teacher in her 2nd year of teaching.
I know military dependants get generalized because of the horrific moral behavior of some but that is no excuse! For God's sake my daughter may only be 7 but she catches onto things quick. I was up front with her and when she asked why her teacher wanted to know I told her she was just being nosy and then I said, "She wanted to know if your mama has a boyfriend since Daddy is in Iraq," and we both had a good laugh because it is actually an inside joke with all of us. She accidentally heard my husband joke about that one day before he left and right afterwards she teased me for having a boyfriend and told him he better not get a girlfriend in Iraq or mama will be sad.
Anyway, now I have to figure out what to do tomorrow morning. Should I go straight to the teacher or should I talk to the office first? This lady obviously has some issues and I've never had to deal with something like this before. We've always been in D.O.D. schools and this is our first public school and I already have a bad impression of it and now this.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
6 people like this
6 responses
@ausnikki (4054)
• Brisbane, Australia
15 Mar 07
I think the first thing you should do is go to the Principal and make him/her aware that your daughters teacher is making inappropriate comments to your daughter.Then I would confront the teacher herself.I would be livid too,not only did she allude to you having an affair but comments like that can ruin a persons reputation.Your daughters teacher needs to know that she should keep her opinions and comments to herself,not spout them out to a 7 year old!
2 people like this
@wmg2006 (5381)
• United States
22 Mar 07
Well you never know, the teacher may have just been making conversation with the child innocently. I like to give everyone and especially teachers the benefit of the doubt. I would talk to the teacher and if it was innocent I would enlighten her on how intelligent your daughter is and ask her to be careful when she speaks to your child. If my son had been told something like that it would not have even phased him. He would have not questioned the comment, so as you can see all children are different and what one catches onto as questionable others would just be blasse about.
1 person likes this
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
15 Mar 07
it actually sounds pretty innocent to me, maybe you are just jumping to conclusions. i would ask her personally what she meant by the comment. it maybe pretty inocennt, meaning that since he has 5 kids she wondered what happen to their mother. you just may be surprised.
1 person likes this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I disagree with the first response ... I don't think that you should go to the principal first. I would first try to remain cool (easier said then done) and then confront the teacher. I think that gives the teacher a chance to explain why she would say such a thing to a 7 year old and why she would assume that you're the type of woman who would have an affair. I also think that it's inappropriate to ask if the man had a wife, like that would somehow clear up any question as to what your motives are. What if the man was your cousin, who recently went through a divorce and you and your daughters were going to console him? Your daughter may use the same description of "some guy" if she had never met him before. She would then have to answer that the man was going through a divoce and then what would her response be???
I think that if you go to the principal first and he talks to her and she says something nasty about your character that the principal is obligated to come to you with a good report to sugar coat things to protect the reputation of the school. Best to go to the source of the problem and let her defend herself ... and the very least have her present when you speak to the principal!
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I would say talk to the teacher first. And then if you don't like what she has to say about it then go talk to the office about it. I would try to see if she will reason with you first though.
1 person likes this
@Writerbob (572)
• United States
28 Mar 07
Yikes! As a veteran of both sides (parent and teacher), I hate to say it, but she was so out of line and so obviously trying to make some sort of sarcastic point that it would be of little benefit to talk directly with her. Bring the issue up with the principal, and even agree to talk to her teacher with the three of you in the room.
She will more than likely try to weasel out of this, but stay firm and you will at least get an apology. She will almost certainly never try that stunt again, because principals HATE bad publicity.
