Comparing children

If your husband is comparing his son to other kids his age now, think how it will be by the time your son is 14 or 15. His dad will always see someone that is achieving a little more than his own son is achieving and life will be miserable for your son. This kind of thing causeslow self-esteem in kids and you should tell your husband that. His behavior may not seem serious how, but could be the beginning of something much worse. There will always be people who can do things faster or better than our children can. Your husband needs to accept the fact that people are different.

Maybe suggest to your hubby that all kids are different and that if he doesn't stop comparing him to other kids that eventually your son will not feel like his dad is proud of him for his accomplishments later in life. It sounds like he is pushing a little hard for his son to be the best at everything when no one is the best at EVERYTHING. All kids learn at a different pace also, so it doesn't matter if he is 1st at something. He may be the Best at something he isn't first at anyway. Like baseball, soccer, football, hockey, etc. He surely won't be the first to play them but he might be the best at it where you live when he gets older. Does that help any? I hope so. Good luck.

I'm wondering if this is just a man thing. My boyfriend and I do not yet have children but anytime he hears about something a family member did/got, he has to make it known what he has done or owns to try and sound better. I suppose it's harmless if he's comparing the child without your little boy overhearing, but it could make him feel quite sad and underappreciated if this happens when he's old enough to understand, I would think.

Men are more competetive than we are, that may be part of the problem! If that's the case, there isn't much you can do except to discourage him from comparing the children when they can hear him, that won't do your son any good. Children develop at different rates, and their ages aren't that much different, your son may catch up and even overtake your friends' son in accomplishments.

Let me just advise you to try to change your husband's habit to compare the kids as soon as possible. Because as time goes on, he'll do it more and more often, and he'll surely compare your son with all other kids in the kindergarten, then at school, at the university and so on... It would be very hard for your son first of all, I assure you, as he'll live for one purpose only - to be the best of the best. It won't do him good as he'll be sure that if he makes a mistake, he'll be despised and disregarded by his father. And it's awful for the child's psyche. It's not bad to try to be the best, but it's bad I think to do it for fear not to be approved by your own parents. Try to talk to your husband seriously. Good luck!

please take care of ur child....

you can not compare children by their milestones. Some kids pick things up quicker than others but when the other child gets older they will either be on the milestone that they are suppose to be on or will be ahead of the game. I have five children between my husband and I and I can honestly say that each child has been different in the way that they learn. I have a step son who is six and my daughter who is five, my daughter can read really good for her age and is in the top three of her class all though she has a speech problem. My step son can verily read but is in gifted for his ability in math. Each child is different and you should not compare children. I have also found that a lot of parents claim that their child does things before they actually do. For instance, if you take a newborn child and prop the bottle in its hands it will continue to hold it until it looses its balance. This is not because the child knows how to do it, but because it was a reaction. A child might take a step one day and then not walk again until a month later when it takes off running.

Our daughter is 14 months old. My friends who have babies around the same age are all walking but she isn't yet. I'm not worried, I just think she is working on bigger things!

Never compare you children to other, not even compare among themselves. If you compare the child to somebody better then the child will suffer inferior complex, if you compare to somebody worse you child will arrogance. Tell that to your husband if you agree with me.

every kids possess a different ability,they grow up in different speed even the identical twins got some difference on how they interact or do the things,one maybe started talk in early age while the other one maybe started to walk ahead than his twin. its really hard for the kid to know that his father is still comparing him to other kids.theres a tendency that he will grow up with insecurities or he will grow up with the habbit of competing with others and it will lead him to a dangerous road of life.its better if your son will grow up with a broad mind and have the courage to explain to your husband about his greater side but what if he`ll grow coward?it may lead him to tell a lie just to avoid hearing mean words from his father. does your husband know that comparing one thing to others is not a god habit?tell him what would be the impact to your child of comparing with other kids.

don't be upset it is natural as i have 9 month old son i also found that he is learning late but now i feel that every child has different things and different time to learn things. as mine and mine cusion 's son has a difference of just 1 month but my baby was late to swallow any thing but he is faster to speak out some words like ma ma ma ma and pa pa pa and mine baby started sitting before mine cusion's

It is not right to compare a child with another. Everyone in this world is unique, so why should u compare with each other? Your son will be great in his own way. Ask your husband to approve his skills and appreciate him in anything he does good, may be a very simple thing.. Good words can do magic in his life. Ultimately stop comparing to anyone. This won't do anything good, but it may be the worse thing that he can get. He will start disliking the compared one and at last he will dislike the person who is comparing. Dont look at others, start loving your childs ways of doing things

I think we all share a competitive spirit. Children should never be compared to others. Everyone grows and develops at their own rate. It is like driving a car. At this point all you can do is tell your husband just what you have told him. I would also advise that there not be any comments made in front of the kids. Children are very intelligent and this could cause an insecurity for them.

Basically he wanna feel proud that his child is the first one to do things. you can explain him that right now your son is too little for the competition, and later on he will improve. All your husband needs is a little love and a good explanation and i am sure then he will stop troubling you on this.

if you are first-time parents, then it is quite understandable for your husband to act like that. maybe he thinks that all kids are the same and their developments are the same when in fact each kid has different stages of development. try to convince him more and try to tell him that comparing your child to others is not good. instead, try to encourage him to just stay focus with your child and encourage him to just help you raise your child.

I think there is no point in comparing childrens yea because every children is different and is unique no point comparing with another children who is different yea ..

I can understand what you are going through .. I face the same for my 10month old daughter .. she is always compared with her cousins .. like I always get to hear that she learned to sit late so never banged her so much .. oh she still doesnt walk ??? i feel its so dumb to compare two completely different children .. how can all fingers be the same .. if she learn to sit early she learned to talk early .. but people wanna see only the negative .. i hardly bother these days .. i have had enough .. i simply ignore the ignorant .. as time will come I know my daughter will on to become a great individual .. i dont want to ape anyone else .. i want to be unique and follow her heart to do what she wants and not be just like any other person .. she need not be ordinary .. i want her to extra ordinary .. yes people will give remarks in the beginning but when she will show her talents they all will learn to shush ..

hai... no need to worry about what god has give to us... like kids...we must accept it by open-heartness.. don;t forget that god creat something for reason.. i think ur child is good.don't compare with the perfect one.. if u wanna to compare, look at the poor one..u weill see something there..be a greatfull person.. ok..

It's important that you talk to your husband about this situation honestly and openly... If he is comparing children now, when they are just babies, imagine how difficult that will become when your children are old enough to participate in academic / sporting activities.... to compare their achievements like that would be unfair to your child and could give him the feeling that he is only valued in terms of achievement, not by his true self - i.e. personality & nature.

I also have son its is an 8 month old, my mother and relatives always compare him to other babies... they say that, how come your baby cannot stand by himself when you were 8 months you can walk already into your crib.. their are a lots of comments (comparisons) that i been heard almost everyday of my life since my baby came into my life. well i have nothing to do with that but to just take all those comments and comparisons... Well i just do is to teach my son, such as how to talk, stand to his crib by just supporting him until he knew already how to do it, i do it little by little until i got what i want to. Remember all of us are different from each other literally and physically. Am i right? well as the baby growing it has different ways on how they will grow. Its not the same on what happened (develop) to your baby on that exact month will also happened to other babies. Like when the teeth is coming out sometimes their teeth comes early 5-6th month sometimes 10th month. Now i tell you, you don't have to be worry because you have a pretty smart healthy baby boy, their's nothing wrong if he didn't develop right away just take your time. Time will come and you will see that he was developing. :)