My Niece is Missing. My Phone Ringing Off The Hook.She done went Nuts!
By classy56
@classy56 (2880)
United States
March 15, 2007 11:29am CST
what a mess.this is.my niece has been missing for 4 days now.an we file a missing report her husband an i. but the police just called an said they found her.thank god she is alive an she is 33 years old..but here is the problem with her.she dont want to be found an dont want any family members to contact her.her mom an dad just died not to long ago.an at the funeral home she met a man that said he was her half brother from a woman he said her dad had an affair with years ago.i dont beleve he is.but anyway he talked her into moveing in with him.there is no proof he is her half brother.an we all fear that this guy is someone she met over the internet.but the police told her husband to stay away from her.an not to even try an call her cell phone.the police knows were she is, but will not give us an address because she is over 21.i made a promise to my sister before she died that i would look over this one neice because she needed someone looking over her.but i guess i failed"..but anyway .my neice told me a little bit about this guy an let me believe he was her half brother.an i know this guy mothers name an the mother lives in another city close to me."i looked it up on the internet".i just dont know why she would leave 3 boys at home.an one of them is pararlyes from the waste down an in a wheel chair an needs her.this just dont sound like her.my phone ringing off the hook.people is wanting me to go to the city an talk to this guys mother.but she told the police she didnt want any family members to find her..so now what do i do. i know loseing your mom an dad at almost the same time can be devastated..but doing something like this is plain stupid.what would anybody do."do i sit here an wait or do i go out looking for her.we all want her home.we dont know if she is drugged or anything.what should i do.im going crazy.
4 people like this
17 responses
@lpipe0240 (1161)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Your hands are pretty much ties unless you disobey the law. My advice is if you believe in God, pray hard!
2 people like this
@lpipe0240 (1161)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I said a pray for you. I will try to remeber you in my prayers.
1 person likes this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
15 Mar 07
It sounds like she has had a nervous break down and is try to run away from all the pain without realizing how many people she is leaving behind and hurting. I would go look for her. Not her husband since that might complicate things. There is nothing against the law if you look for her and find her since you are related and not looking to harm her. Sounds like this guy is taking advantage of her and somebody needs to find out the reason why. Since she is vulnerable he might be brain washing her and using her. My prayers are with you I know you are going through a hard time right now.
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I wish you all the luck and that you find her ok. Hopefully she will be ok when you find her and you can lend her the shoulder that she really needs to lean on.
@dianagaddi (765)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Almost the same thing happened to my friends niece. It was reported to the police that was the last action I heard from them. It happened almost half year now.
1 person likes this
@onabreak2 (1161)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Your niece is 33 years old and is not at an age where you can make her do something she doesnt want to do. She has had a lot on her plate with a son that she has been taking care of that is paralyzed. She sounds like she really needs to get away from it all for a while.
My friends Sister had a son that was paralyzed from the time he was a baby, She felt hopeless and had a breakdown when he was a teenager. Knowing that is something you are going to have to face for the rest of your life is something most of us never have to think of. Then on top of that she looses her Mom and Dad who probably were her support. I think she probably just had all she could take and had to get away. Just give her some space. Maybe she will come back after she has time to think it all out. Most of us will never have to face anything that hard.
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
16 Mar 07
i cant give her any space right now.not untill i find out about this guy she is with..an if she meet him on the internet than she may be in danger..she has had alot to deal with.but so has her other sisters.but they didnt get up an leave their kids.something just is not right.i know i cant make her come home but i can at least try.if i can find her.
@mom_of_2 (398)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
I'm sorry to hear about your niece....sounds like she very streesed out. Allthough she told the police she doesn't want to be found...I think she needs to be. Sounds like this guy is taking advantage of her in some way...if he really cared about her safety and welfare he would help convince her to go back home. Its not against the law to try and find a relative, if I wwere you I would do anything possible to ensure her safty. With all the grief she is suffering perhaps she has had nervouse breakdown?
Don't blame yourself, no one is going to think you failed your sister...you are doing all you can.
I will keep your family in my prayers
Take care
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
15 Mar 07
thank you,all i care about is her safty.an the police said she didnt want any family members to contact her.an they warn the husband to stay away.this is not like her.an i agree she needs to be found an the only way i can do this is go to this guys mothers house an see if i can find her .an talk her into comeing home.i just dont know what has happen or gotten into her.but i am really scared as to whats going on.
@Giggles88 (542)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I would go find her if I were you. This guy sounds dangerous and I don't see why the police would let her stay there. It sounds like you really care about her so go talk to this guys mom and if she's not the real deal then tell the police the whole story. They could at least run some kind of background check on him. If her kids need her then get her home. She's obviously going through a very rough time right now and she needs you even if she says she doesn't. She doesn't realize how much she is hurting you and your family. GO GET HER!!!
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
16 Mar 07
thank you giggles,yes i really do care for my neices.this one neice needs watching over more than the other 2 of her sisters.shes on the wild side.im going today an see if i can find were this guys mom lives.an hope she will tell me something.your right this guy we know nothing about or were he even came from.but something is very wrong here.her sons is really upset an he needs her.an she is omly thinking of herself.she is hurting alot of family members.an they are all in shock by what she has done.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
15 Mar 07
It sounds like you are going to be wrong no matter what you do. I think I probably would go and talk to her anyway. She left the people that love and depend on her. Just talk, don't tell her what to do. There may be more to the story than you know. Go in with an open mind and try to see her side. Maybe she really just had a meltdown. You will never know unless you talk with them.
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
15 Mar 07
hi thoroughrob,yes .i know it hard trying to do the right thing an obey the law.i do need to talk to her to find out why she left her kids.an i will be open mined.but frist i got to find her.an hopefully she will talk to me when i do.an tell me her side of the story.an then maybe i can help her figure out what needs to be done..to get her life back together.
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Wow what a story I hope she is going to all right. I will say a prayer for her. Some people think that if they go away things will get better. I think that it is a bizzare way of thinking. I wish you best and hope everything turns out okay.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Sounds like a real problem. Even if you find her you cant make her return home if she doesn't want to. I really don't have very much sympathy for her. My mother left my brother and I when he 3 and I was 5. I have never been able to understand any woman who could leave her children.
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
16 Mar 07
i can understand how you feel an i respect that.that is awfull that your mother left you an your brother..an i dont understand why a mother would do this to their kids.but this is not like her.i just need to see for myself if she is in her right state of mind.an did she make this choice on her own or did that guy influnce her in any way.
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
16 Mar 07
All you can do is wait, and hope that she comes to her senses. I suspect that life has just gotten too much for her to handle right now, andshe needs a breather. You know she issafe, and not in any kind of trouble, so let her be. At 33, she is not your responsibility. I know you worry, but she is probably feeling smothered and overwhelmed. I suggest you hire someone to look after the son who is disabled until she decides what she wants to do with her life. Her sons have TWO parents, and the one left at home needs to step up and be responsible. Perhaps he has been putting all the care of the children solely onto her, and needs to start being a father. Wait, she will come back when she is ready
@afreddy (182)
• India
16 Mar 07
Look for some support groups who help out in this area, I have read a lot about support groups in the US who assist in this kind of situations, you could check the internet
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
I am afraid you have done as much as you are able to at this time. You have no choice, and you niece doesn't want to be in touch with her family, as you said she is 33, and supposedly an adult, You made a promise to you sister and you have done your very best to carry it out, do not feel guilty, we are each responsible for the decisions and choices we make. Your niece is going to have to live with the choices she has made no matter how they came about. Please do not stress your self out over this, there is nothing you can do your hands are tied, walk away and accept that is what it must be.
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
16 Mar 07
thanks,i wish i could walk away but i cant.i need to find out if she is ok.an in her right state of mind.lol.im done way past the stress out point.i think she has made a wrong choice this time.an i have got to try an do something to get her out of this mess.
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
15 Mar 07
This is a really tough situation because of the laws and her being over 18. I feel terrible for you and your family having to go through all of this. Did your niece ever get any form of counseling from a proffessional or member of the church? Do you think maybe you and your family could have some form of intervention to try and get her some help? I wouldn't look at yourself as being a failure because of this. You're doing the best you can under the circumstances and that's all anyone can do. Good luck to you.
@Cougarlover152 (108)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Classy, my thoughts are with you! I can't imagine the struggle you're going through! Bless you!
Have you thought of contacting a private investigator? I don't know your financial situation, but if money is an issue, you may find one that will work for you pro bono. I would think the investigator could look into this guy's background, find your neice, and at least assess for you what kind of situation she's in. Since the investigator isn't related, she/he could contact the neice for you. Is this a viable idea? I wish you the best of luck!
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
15 Mar 07
thank you, i have thought about doing a back ground search on the guy from the internet.but all i know is the guy name an it showed me a bunch of guys with the same name in the same city.so now i need to find out the guys middle name to make sure i have the right guy..thank you, i may need to get outside help if i cant find her.
@lilliesofthebreeze2 (96)
• United States
16 Mar 07
All I can say to you is have faith.
I have been in a simular situation with my daughter when she was 15. She ran away. From one city to another. Hitched hiked across two states. Not knowing what was going on with her. Got to tell you/Scared the hell out of me.
When the police call came I was so very happy and mad as hell towards her at the same time. Just wanted to hug her, and smack her all at the same time.
I'm sorry if I am not giving you the answers you are looking for.
Just have faith, that she will find her way home too.
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
16 Mar 07
If the police said they know where she is and won't give you her address, then obviously there really isn't too too much you can do without breaking the law.
She's stated that she doesn't want any contact with any of her family members, and pushing that might make her run even further away from you guys.
All I can say is pray. Pray hard for a change in the situation, and ask your angels for a solution to the problem. If she is meant to be in your lives she will be again. Give it time and she may come back of her own accord.
I wish you the very best of luck.
@domesticengineer (576)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
My heart goes out to you. If I'll be in the same situation I'll perhaps let go of her because she's already 33 years old. She's supposed to be matured enough to know what is wrong and right. And remember this, blood is thicker than water soon she'll be the one coming to you for apologies. Just pray that she'll always be safe.
