Your child forgot to bring his/her homework to school. What do you do?
By seamonkey
@seamonkey (1976)
Ireland
March 15, 2007 11:31am CST
Normally it would be up to my son to explain to his teacher why he didn't have his assignment. Today, however, after reminding him four times to put it in his bag, I returned home to see it still sitting on his desk! I didn't want to drop it off at school, but it was a special competition project so I did. Given the number of prompts he had received, would you have caved in? I don't think he learned anything!
9 people like this
36 responses
@Methodless (882)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
Maybe I'm harsh, but something like that I'd do the following:
Prepare an invoice for your time, gas and everything else.
Let him know this is how much it cost him for this "service" (you can knock on a reminder-ignoring surcharge if you want)
Then you can lower his allowance (as you suggested) until such amount is recovered, or you can price it in terms of lost hours of video games/TV/going to bed earlier/desserts, etc.
But before you do any of that, I would talk with him and see why this happened.
To be honest, when I was kid, the primary reason for me leaving my homework at home was my mom yelling at me every 2-3 minutes in the morning to get ready causing me to lose my trend of thought and forgetting what needs to go in the bag, what needs to come out, what needs to be brought, etc. This didn't stop until University, when my mother couldn't bother me in the morning - it was amazing how much my average shot up because I NEVER got a zero anymore.
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@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I had that as well in high school. My parents would say something to me and I'd lose track of what I was thinking about. I still have that problem just now I'm doing something and it's other family members trying to tell me something and I lose my concentration. It can be very frustrating.
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
It never ocurred to me the hustle of the morning routine could be problematic. That's probably why my 'spaceboy' is usually so reliable: when he finishes the homework ther is nowhere else for it to go but bakck in his backpack. yesterday was different because if he had to use the computer and printer which totally threw his routine. thanks for the insight!
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
I love that answer! I think this morning he got very caught up in how he was going to win the competition and wondering how it was going to be jusged and forgot all together about putting itin his back pack!
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@cvdrpepper53 (218)
• United States
15 Mar 07
if it was normal homework then i would let him/her go through the consiquenses but if it was a special project that they really needed then i would bring it to him/her at the school
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
Agreed. It seems to be the concensus among most of us?
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Oh I know how this is. My niece doesn't usually leave them at home but it has happened. I agree that if it had been a normal, every day assignment then no don't take it in. This was something special and could really have effected his grade. So I would have taken it in as well if at all possible. I saw where he did get embarassed at having to have you bring it in so I'm sure he learned that he doesn't want it to happen again. That might have been worth the time and effort.
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@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
That was more or less they way I looked at the situation. It wasn't actually going to effect his grade though. It was important to him because everyone in the class wrote an article and one will be chosen to go in the local newspaper. He put a lot of work into it, so I thought it was worth the bother and he can pay the piper with me.
1 person likes this
@drmt57 (295)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Yes I would have taken it to him,because if not it could have affected his grade. however, I would punish him because he did not obey you when you told him to put it in his bag. He need to know that when he is told by you his mother to do something, he should not neclect to do it, and he should do it before he forget.
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
He does indeed need to respect his mother. And his teacher,as well. She is excellent and he needs to show her the respect he has for her by being responsible.
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Seamonkey, in my case because it was a special project I also would have taken it to school, but when he returned home in the afternoon there would be a consequence, such as no phone for 2 days or through the weekened. No video games or what would hurt my son and get the message across would be no phone and no skateboarding for the weekend. You had to stop take time out of your day and run that to him after asking him several times to put it in his back pack.
Otherwise I would not have taken it to school and let him take the cut in grade. My Son knows that anything below a B is grounding the entire 6 weeks untill the grades improve. There is no argument, he knows this.
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@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Rotflmao Yes that in itself is a useful tool! embarrassment :)) works on adults also. LOL too funny
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@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
Apparently, all his friends heckled him, saying his face had turned as red as a cherry. He's 11, and far to old to need his mommy running after him, which he was reminded of. LOL!
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
Yes, he is off his beloved Runescape and lost his allowance. Normally, when he has to give his room a good clean he does a halfsie job but today he must have felt guilty because he just got on with it. You're right, it did waste my time, but at least I got the chance to mortify him in front of his school friends that his mommy had to bring down his homework for the baby.
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@Osterode (74)
• United States
15 Mar 07
My daughter is usually pretty good about her homework. After it is done she puts it in her folder and back into her backpapck. I think though that if she did forget it one day I would probably take it to her at her school. The teacher has a discipline rule that if you forget it, you get benched, and I wouldn't want my daughter to miss out on her play time.
2 people like this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
Wow, that's strict! I doubt many would forget their homework at my son's school if that was the fallout.
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
15 Mar 07
That is a tough question!
If it was a special competition...I would really struggle with taking it to him or not. One of my sons has a problem with remembering his things also. And I have had to take them to him many of times. But i finally said it was enough because if it were that important...he would have to remember.
So, I would struggle with if I should take it to him or not.
I know how sensitive he is and if I did not, he would be very upset and disappointed. Not only because I didn't bring it...but also because he forgot.
So...I probably would have taken it to him. However, it would come with a warning....that I would NEVER do it again no matter what. LOL
And if it did happen again, I would have to stick to my word and not take it.
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
That's the thing, I did go back and fortha couple of times before I brought it down. One one hand, I was getting ready to paint the staircase and needed to get on with it, on the other hand, it was an article that might be chosen for a newspaper...it was a tough call.
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
15 Mar 07
ha ha I know that total mind battle going on in your head. :)
I have been there many of times.
But that is why I also probably would have taken it too.
I hope you still got your painting done. :)
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@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
i did, but I am a full door jam behind, which he has heard about. It's oil based so not something I want to prolong!!!
@mygreyparrot (1461)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I wouldn't have caved. He doesn't seem to be learning a lesson. How hard is it for him to put it in his backpack? If it's finished, I don't see his issue. Maybe the night before school you need to tell him to put it in his bag, and watch him do it.
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@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
It wasn't hard at all and he should have done it. I'd be very surprised if he does anything else like this anytime soon. He knows he won't be getting another rescue like that one.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
16 Mar 07
If my child remembers that they left their homework at school on the way home, i make them go back and get it. Usually the school is open for at least an hour after the kids get out.
If they leave it home, yep its up to them to explain it to their teacher...before i started back at work, once in awhile i bailed them, but now they are old enough to plan ahead, but i do remind them before i leave (that goes for their lunches too)...the girls are 10 and 13 - so you think they would remember lol, but inevitably even I forget stuff sometimes lol
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
I use the same procedure, but it is usually sporting equipment that we have forgotten, or a book. It was very unusual to forget somtehing like this. Like you say, we can't all be perfect all the time, so I guess other consideratins need to be taken into account.
@Joey322 (272)
• United States
16 Mar 07
that's hard. i probably would have taken it into school, but i would have made sure he learned his lesson at home. stuff like that for school is hard b/c you want them to learn their lesson, but those grades follow them and you don't want them to do poorly b/c school is so competitive these days.
yeah, i would have caved, but he would have gotten when he got home. we're talking some extra chores, maybe something that he has to REMEMBER to do on a certain day or certain time....
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
Someone mentioned him getting to do some of the painting for me, which I htink is a brilliant idea!
@tator_tot8073 (698)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't have taken it in. If I had repeated myself many times over, and he still failed to do as I had asked, I would have let him fail to learn his lesson. That may sound harsh, but somethings being harsd is the only way to get them to pay attention. Good luck in the future with him.
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
I hope it was the last event for a long time to come. Thanks for your answer :-)
@greylady (153)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Been there but I think my problem was a bit different. My son didn't just forget. He did his homework but he wouldn't turn it in. If I made sure it went to school with him it usually ended up stacked in his locker and never made it to the classroom or the teacher.
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
15 Mar 07
My friend's son does precisely the same thing. He will even take dention for the missing homework and in the end, after detention is over, 'find' it in his school bag. He is well known for being a 'forgetful' child but this seems extreme. Why do you think children do this?
@ychomebiz (18)
• Malaysia
16 Mar 07
maybe he is not confident that he has done a good job and his teacher might not be so kind with him
1 person likes this
@ssuren (46)
•
16 Mar 07
First of all can you please tell me how old is your son.Because if he is yaoung it is normal for him at that age,as child are carefree and we have to let them enjoy their freedom and carelessness. By the time he will understand his responsibility. But if he is little big then you have to think why is he behaving like that.You have to teach him discipline with patience.And always remember there is no harm to help your child but it is also our responsibility to teach them to be responsible.
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
He's nearly 12 and has been expected to do his homework and bring it in to school for the last 7 years.
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
16 Mar 07
Honestly, if I reminded my daughter or sons 4 times about their homework and they STILL forgot it, I would not take it to them, competition or not.
As parents we cannot be expected to do more than we already do, and kids have to learn to take the consequences of forgetting things.
Hopefully they'd learn quickly enough to start remembering things. I have a system with my kids where we get what they need for the next day ready the night before.
We make sure they have all the homework thats due to be handed in packed in their bags, and all thats left to do the next morning is make sure they have everything else they need and off they go.
It cuts down on time thats for sure!
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
That was the thing, I have everything, luches, clothes layed out, all of it done the day before so all we have to do is roll out of bed, eat and blaze. I can't imagine how he messed it up. And since I had told him 2x's that night, I didn't check because normally this wouldn't have happened.
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
16 Mar 07
As your son has already been reminded many times about his assignment, I guess it is his responsibilities to hand it up on time. If it is really a special competition project and he is serious about it, he should not have forgotten to bring it to school with him. If I were you, I would not cave in. I want him to learn that it's not ok to do such things. Let him miss out on this competition if I were you. Parents are there to guide their children but it is up to that individual to heed our advise. No point us going all out if its not being appreciated.
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
I guess I will really have to face this when he goes on to secondary school because there is so much to remember. I doubt it'll be too much of an issue between now and then, hopefully, as this was an unusual occurence. I won't be able to cave in secondary school, because he will really need those organizationsal skills later in life. Thanks.
@vensan882003 (180)
• India
16 Mar 07
That not a bad thing in that age....i would not shout
at him/her,but instead i would just ask him the reason why he has not done homework..if he tell the trueth ,infact i would be more happy on him...
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
At 11, I think he is old enough to manage these things on his own and not treat me like a secretary. There was no happiness surrounding the event!
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
If I knew he had left it home on purpose, not only would I have not brought it to him but he would have been in a great deal of trouble. They can earn 'homeowrk free' days at school from their teacher, so there is no excuse for just blowing off an assignment.
@laetitia09 (19)
• France
16 Mar 07
i should say, i will bring it to school too
even if i know it's not th good thing to do
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
Would you keep doing it, though? I think this is the first time I have brought anything down other then lunches, and I quite doing that once I fuond out the other students share.
@nengs10 (3180)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Children really have the tendency to forget their priorities sometimes due to their natural inclination to play and to mingle with friends. As a parent, you should talk to your child sincerely on this matter and let him realize his fault/s. When I was a child, I was also stubborn; my father would even spank me just to do things right. By that time, because I was really afraid to be spanked, then I immediately follow my parents' commands or advices. But Im not saying you'll do the same. There are many ways of disciplining your child though.
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
I wouldn't ewant him to do the right thing out of fear. It is my hope he will respect his teacher, me, and recognize he has responsibilites.
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