jokes, humor, laughs -- JUST FOR FUN

Friendly Devil "Welcome to Heaven," St. Peter says to the newly arrived politician. "Before you settle in, you must spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the people. They play golf and dine on lobster and caviar. The devil is also there, a very friendly guy who laughs and tells jokes. It is time to go. Everyone waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up and the door reopens on Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him. Now it's time to visit Heaven. 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity." The politician reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell." Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes back down to hell. The doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The devil comes over to him and grins menacingly. "I don't understand," stammers the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my Friends look miserable." The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!" Dying Husband A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised. When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money." "Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way," his young wife exclaimed. "You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you. Please... tell me what I can do?" "Well," the old man gasped, "you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters."

I hope you like Cursor Annoyance. Put your cursor on the guy's nose.:) I'm sorry that the link is not active because I'm not allowed to paste an active link. I hope you will copy and paste on the address bar of your browser to view it. It is very funny. http://www.cybersalt.org/content/view/1623/626/

Little johny's school is having show and tell, so the teacher starts a 'Guess Whats Behind My Back' game. She goes to her desk and picks up a item. She says, okay class, what am I holding, its RED, ROUND, and SHINEY. Little Johny replies I know teacher its an apple, The teacher replies, no little johny, But I like the way you think. So the teacher goes gack to her desk picks up another item. She says, okay class, what am I holding now, its YELLOW, and SOFT. Little Johny replies I know teacher,its a bannana. The teacher replies, no little johny, its a tennis ball. But I like the way you think. At this point little johny is furious. Okay teacher, this one's for you, he stuck his hand in his pocket and said okay what am I Holding, Its ROUND, HARD, and has a HEAD. The teacher says, Little johny, go to the office right now, you are in trouble. Little johny replies, for what teacher, its just a quarter, but I like the way you think.

Policeman: Now, sir, how did you come to have this accident? Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop ? Look ? Listen. And while I was doing that, the train hit me.

just came to read those jokes

Duke A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart. "Duke!" the dad yelled. "This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one. "Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart. "Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!

Fart Football An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7." Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, "What the heck was that?" The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

i don't know any jokes

A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. :-( Guess why ? because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagao"

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife. However he accidently typed the wrong e-mail address and without realising his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile, somewhere in mumbai a widow had just returned home from her husband's funrel. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting message from her relatives and friends.; After reading the first message she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife Subject: I've just reached Date: 13th oct 2006 I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to sent e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tommorrow. Looking forward to seeing you. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was

ok i got one. whats green and sits on a toliet? a girl scout doing her duties.

A: Does a gegko (a big lizard) call "at night."B: Yes, it does. A: No. It calls gegko,gegko...it never call "at night" and "at night"

A: Does a gegko (a big lizard) call "at night." B: Yes, it does. A: No. It calls gegko,gegko...

KNOCK KNOCK Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Don't cry, its only a joke! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KNOCK KNOCK Who's There? Rita Rita who? Rita book, you might learn something! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KNOCK KNOCK Who's There? Heaven Heaven who? Heaven you heard enough of these silly knock-knock jokes? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KNOCK KNOCK Who's There? Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce in, its cold outside!

What did the big chiminy say to the little chiminy? You're too young to smoke.