At four years old I was deserted by my mother.....

You only get one chance at life, and I'm sure over the years you've had questions about what happened. Take out a piece of paper with a pen next to it. Whenever you think of something you have thought of that you'd like to ask her, write it down. If for no other reasons, you might want to find out if she's had any health problems that could be hereditary. My dad was a real s.o.b. when I was growing up. When he reached his senior years, there wasn't a sweeter person ever. As time passes, we all think back on what our life has been and how it might have turned out differently. She just may be wondering about you as well, and have questions for you, too. But be prepared just in case she doesn't want any contact as well and ask yourself if you're ready for that rejection. I guess the initial contact with her would be to maybe ask if she'd like to meet you. It sounds like a part of you wants to meet her. I'd be so curious I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Much luck to you, and let us know how it turns out.

You should take your own decision.You should listen to your own heart and do as it says.If I am in your place I should have considered her as a stanger because she had deserted me not I had deserted her.If she needed me in my life she wouldnot have deserted me for forty five years.I cannot live my child like this.So When a mother donot accept her responsibility then how can the child show his or her duty.A child always learns from his or her parents.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Why did your mom leave you? I can truly understand why you have mixed emotions about it. I would too. It is your choice of what you think would fulfill your life. You can choose to go see her and see if there is a chance for the both of you to be around each other. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried. It would be kind of strange meeting her though. That is a very long time. I would definitely ask her why she left me and did not look for me. I have a 15 year old daughter. Her dad got me pregnant when I was 20 years old. He dumped me right after I told him I was going to have the baby. He has nothing to do with meor my daughter ever since then. She did meet him a couple of times but he told her he gave up on her a long time ago. She was 6 years old before he told his mom and dad he had a daughter. He doesn't show our daughter any love at all and it hurts my little girl badly. There is no excuse for him treating her that way. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. Just go with your heart and if it is meant to be, you will meet her. I hope that when you do meet her, it will all owrk out. if it should happen not to work out, then maybe it is better for you that way. Good luck and best wishes with it.