how to deal with grandparents

I know exactly what you are talking about. My mom is a very controlling mother and she tries to discipline my child in ways that I do not like. I do not mind her correcting my child but I know how harsh my mom can be. she was very hard on me and my sisters when we were growing up. I don't even go around my mom any more because of she did me and the way she started doing my daughter. I just had my fill one day and she called me and started complaining about what my daughter did at her house. We had alreadty discussed many times that she can discipline her when she is down there but not to be too severe with it and I will handle her when she is at home. My mom took it to extremes and I couldn't stand it when she would call me and tell me about it. My duaghter doesn't go down there and spend the night with them any more. she is 15 years old and they scold her like she is 10 years old. I just don't want my daughter to grow up like that. You may need to tell your mom that you cannot correct your daughter and teach her the correct ways of doing things if she is always going to step in and over talk whatever you just said and allow the child to do whatever she wants to do. I would just tell her that the child will never obey you as long as grandma keeps stepping in and allowing her to make bad choices. If she don't like it, then that's too bad, but enough is enough even though you really hate to tell your mom things like that.

If I were you I would have a serious talk with her. Let her know that this bothers you and that your child is not going to listen to you when you are trying to correct her is she (your mother) keeps interrupting. If she doesn't like this then I would have to ask her to no longer attend the dance lessons. Your daughter is yours, and although your mom might feel like she has more experience because she had you, the way that you will look at things is going to be very different. But I don't think that she should be disrespecting your authority or at least not in front of your daughter. You could also tell her that if she sees a problem with how you correct your daughter, to wait until you are done and then say something when it is only you and her.

Well.. one thing i know for sure is that grandchildren are everything to their grandparents... so.. if you want to correct your daughter/son you shouldn't do it in front of their grandparents.. they will always take the kids side.. I tell you this as the childs point of view.. because both of my grandparents spoil me in every way they can.... on the other hand my mom is always correcting me on everything i do wrong.. the only thing is that she doesnt correct me in front of my grandparents. For example.. I remember when i was like 9 years old... I wanted to throw a Halloween party... and my parents completely refuse... so. I went to my grandparents and they let me throw it at their house... they pay for the refreshments and my grandmother made some appetizers... so... whenever my parents say no.. I know my grandparents are always goin gto be on my side... I grew up and im not as spoiled as my mom thought I was gonna be... i turned out to be pretty rational with things... So my advice would be... Whenever you want to correct your daughter/son or just give them advices... DONT do it in front of grandparents

Well. We should treat our grandparents as children. Once a person crosses 65, they become childlike. I love my grandmother and always treat her like a child.

You need to set boundaries with your mother and tell her that if she can't respect your abilities as a parent, you can't be around her as often as she would like. Your daughter is your responsbility, and it's rude and disrespectful of her to undermine you as a parent.

they must be treated in a good way b;coz they should be happy in their last counting days

LOL! This happens all the time! It's just how grandparents treat their grandsons... they spoil them! I guess that was why I really loved my grandma when I was young. I suggest you sit with her and have a serious talk about it. Tell her what you want your daughter to do, how you want her to behave, what things aren't acceptable from her and what kinds of rewards/punishments she deserves according to her behaviour. Also listen to what your mom would say and if she totally agrees with you on the basics (most of the time they do, but they still over spoil the child, due to some instinct based grandparent-grandchildren love that is kindda different from the parents-children one). If you both agree on the basics and details, tell her what you don't want her to do/say to your daughter and why you think it is a bad idea. Hopefully she will listen, just like my grandma did... became my second mom after years of spoiling! :(

You can't, Grandma always thinks she's right even if she's not. I've dealt with the same with my mother. I think as you age you might agree alittle more with your mother, but for now if you don't won't a conflict watch where and what you invite her to

I would definently say something to your mother. Tell her that you are the mother, it is your job to discipline your child. If she refuses not to keep her mouth shut, tell her she's not invited to come until she can follow your rules. Harsh yes, but thankfully it's only about dance right now, you have to knwo that your mother will do what you ask with your kid.

You are an adult, tell your mother that if she can not and will not respect your parenting abilities, them please do not attend, You also might tell her that it would be great if she supported you in your parenting, because right now she is sabotaging it,You might also ask her how she would have felt if some one had done that to her when she was raising you. Advise he unless she can respect and live with your decisions that she is not welcome at dance class. She will get up set but will also recognize that you are right.

Some grant parents, especially female category, are like that mainly because they are sitting in home and their mind has not relieved from the idle thoughts. Let them have a journey or walk around ocassionally and instruct your daughter to obey grandma. This only would solve the problem. They are friends. Grandma's has a self-importance and grand-dayughter has the same ego, which are not mingled together. How to deal with is the friendly way. Grandmothers normally give the old traditional way of life and the explain fame and name of the family-heritage. It should be natural. Let them spent some time every day and instruct daughter to obey entirely which would do good to every grand-daughter.

u try out make u r mother understand that if she interrupts then the daughter's behaviour will become worse.. so let her love her but without supporting her wen ur telling her something.. or u talk u r daughter taking her alone somewhere

make ur daughter ur friend, a true friend . than she will starting obeying u. ur mother is a senior mature person she would definitely understand if u talk in detail.u must also tell her that it's more imporatnt to make ur daughter a good human , than to make her a stupid girl shouting for whatever she likes.

the kid is yours... not hers...

I am so glad that I did not have this problem when my Heather was growing up. My mom and I were on the same page for the most part. Since my mom watched Heather she did not want to spoil her because then she would have to deal with the fall out as much as I would. Take your mom to lunch maybe. Somewhere where you two can just talk. Explain to her that she is doing this and it is interfering with the way you want to deal with your child. Tell her in a nice way that you love her and are glad that she wants to be a part of her granddaughters life but she needs to let you handle situations that may come up. Try talking and hope that everything goes well. I wish you all the luck in this situation.

Your mother is doing right.Absolutely it is!

parenting is good for is all about taking care of new intelligent creatures. it is also a means of rendering social help and security to a newly born baby. grand parent are to be valued for they give practical advice and info in the times of trouble based on the past experience honor the father that cause your birth and do not abuse your mother just because she has grown old says the bible so parent and grand parent are most valuable asset a teenager can have