Pregnant and rejected...
By catcai
@catcai (1056)
Philippines
March 16, 2007 9:59am CST
How do handle rejection during pregnancy? Im pregnant and i feel so depressed and i feel so bad about feeling depressed because i know that this will affect my baby, but i really can't help feel depressed. Its hard to be pregnant alone- no friends, no social life, no job- only mylot to keep me company. On top of it the father of this baby im carrying isnt giving me any time at all- which was all that was asked of him by my parents when this came about. He's my ex of 5 yrs, but before i knew i was pregnant with his child- he got himself a girlfriend which he prioritizes more than anything-so when i told him that i was pregnant - he told me then and there that he couldnt commit himself to this...so we came to compromise- he doesnt have to marry me but he at least- has to be there for me like visit me sometimes and to the least- for 5 yrs sake, give me moral support. He was there the first few weeks i knew about my pregnancy, but after a while, he just seems to slip away. Everytime i send him a text msg or call him- its so rare that he would reply, and most of the time he doesnt reply at all- when he came over last night he was rushing to leave, and it did hurt me a lot- he's become less concerned and TOO busy for me- he just threw away all of those years that we've been together-I would understand better if what happend between us was just a one night stand- but we had a relationship, i know its over, but i cut him a lot of slack by not telling his parents that he got me pregnant so- he wouldnt get kicked out of his parents house and he can still have a chance to fix his life. Im not even asking for financial support- all i ask is that he'd be here for me or spare some of his time to come and visit me without rushing to leave to meet with his GF- afterall i am pregnant with his child- Yes i still do love him- im not asking him to love me again- im just asking him to respect me as the mother of his child and keep his end of the deal. I dont know if that's too much to ask- is it too much to ask? how do you deal if given this type of situation? i dont wanna feel so alone- but i really can't help it...
1 person likes this
5 responses
@mummymo (23706)
•
16 Mar 07
catcai I just want to give you a big hug and then a good old talking to! I know you still love this man but he has shown you that you cannot rely on him and perhaps it would be best if he was only there for the baby and not you at the moment - not for ever but just until you start to get over him! I know this sounds really hard at the moment but it will get easier! Have you friends or family to turn to support and comfort? I hope the answer to this is yes! Depending on the attitude of his parents I would also be tempted to let them know of the baby - if they would be supportive then surely it is not fair on your baby to deprive him/her of grandparent nor them of a grandchild! You are the baby's mother - the most important thing is that you have to look after yourself too, be strong mentally and physically for the coming baby! Don't feel alone if nothing else your mylot friends are here to help and support you in any way we can! Good luck and God bless
@mummymo (23706)
•
16 Mar 07
Catcai - reading your response my heart was breaking for you sweetheart! I know it seems as though you are at the bottom of a deep, dark well at the moment but you will make it to the sunlight at the top my friend! I wish I could relieve you of the stress and burdens that you have to carry at the moment but all I can say is that I will be thinking of you and praying for you. If you ever need to talk or just to let out your feelings just pm me honey - I will support you! Yhinking of you
Mummymo xxx I am sending you lots of hugs along with the prayers!
@tarheelnancy (1317)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I understand your need for moral support but looks like this guy isn't going to give you any that you need. I would give up trying cause it may be sending him further away. I hope at least he is there at the birth of your child and be around the child so that it at least knows its father.
Raising a child alone is going to get expensive, I would suggest that you do ask for fianicial support for the sake of the child. He is the child's father and should help in all aspects of raising the child.
I have a feeling it is the girlfriend that is having alot to do with him not coming around very often. She may be feeling insecure with their relationship because he has had a long-term relationship with you and now a child on the way.
I hope things go well for you. I wish you only the best!
@catcai (1056)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
i really dont know why she should be insecure- she was even the one chosen by the ex instead of me and the baby... she is the one the guy loves... i wish that it shoulve been me but its impossible now. I just hope she would understand how difficult it is for me, to be able to be pregnant and alone... She was raised by a single mom herself- so i think she knows pretty much how my daughter would feel like if time comes...I heard that she has too much anger for her father- because her father had another family and didnt bother to even support her- unless she wants her boyfriend or future husband to have a raging illegitimate daughter someday, i hope she would give some way...
@lovemydsdominik (282)
• United States
16 Mar 07
first of all, he got you pregnant and he should be helping you financially, i hope you are going to be getting him for child support when this baby is born and I don't know if you have insurance, but having a baby is expensive with or without it. Sorry, but this guy seems like a loser and a liar- I am really sorry that you have to feel alone when you are pregnant =( just know that pregnancy causes you to be waaay more emotional than usual, are there any single and pregnant support groups in your area? my cousin is going through the same thing right now and it is really hard, just please don't let him get away with this- make him pay for it!
