Balancing Domestic Duties with Your Spouse/Partner

We both work full time. I take care of most of the laundry, dusting, toliet cleaning, etc. He does more of the heavier stuff and will help cook and do dishes and pick up stuff around the house if I ask. I would say that we are fairly balanced for the most part. If I stayed home with the kids I would still expect some help, with maybe the heavy stuff and periodical heavy cleaning but I wouldn't have a problem with taking care of the chores as long as he picked up after himself and put stuff where it belongs on a regular basis.

In Italy the division of labor in home doesen't exist. I mean that household chores are a woman affair also if the woman works out of home the same number of hours of the husband. Our men are still not well educated. I hope that for the future generations this state of things will change.

I think it really depends on the couple and how much they want to help each other and how willing they are to work together ya know....My husband is the only one that works now so with me being home all day I do majority of the domestic stuff but when I'm having an off week either mentally or physically or both he'll step in and take over so I can deal with what i need to deal with...I think the only reason i have MORE work now around the house compared to when I was working was because my husband didnt live with me back then (we werent married yet), I worked and went to school and my kids were either in daycare or at the sitters so other than cooking on Sunday afternoon and doign laundry there wasnt much to be done since we were hardly home LOL..plus my place back then was considerably smaller than the house we live in now....and I didnt have 6 pets back then nor did I have a teenager and tweenager who as I've learned are far messier than toddlers are ;-) The way I see it though really is that my husband brings home the bacon...so its my job to cook it ;-)

Do you not find though that being at home with a child is hard work? Or does your husband take over the child care when he comes home from work. In my experience work is easier than being at home and looking after house and children 24/7. when you go out to work there is a stop time at which your day finishes, this is not true for mums who end up having to do everything.

There is a difference between home and office. Please don't try to divide the work among the family members as we do in the office. In an office if one is entrusted with some work and if he/she does not do it, will be held responsible for it. Whereas in a home, it should be voluntary. Even if one does not do a work another should come forward to do it. By this there will be hormony in the home. But if you try to expect so and so has to do this work in your home, then your home will not be a home but another office for all your family members.

I think that the household duties are to be divided equally between partners. Even a stay home mom finds it hard to keep up with her chores and believe it or not that is true because kids take up a lot of time.

There should be aproper balance between the domestic and nondomestic work to lead a harmoneous/peaceful life.

When I was working, my husband and I split the chores pretty evenly. Then I had our firstborn and stayed home and everything was on me. Here we wash our clothes by hand adn I was suddenly having to wash clothes for three people, plus diapers! After years of only doing my own laundry, it was hard work. Now that I am working from home, nothing has changed! My husband works as usual, comes home and plays with our son while I am struggling to care for a baby with another on the way, keep the house clean, laundry done and family fed, while also attempting to make daily writing deadlines. I´m sure there is a fairer way to do things, but we haven´t managed to get there yet! :)

well its hard to have a really equal or fair distribution of domestic duties. My father is a stay at home dad cause he has an income from a family owned business, not really much but enough for the part of the families expenses. Mom works so dad is left at home. He cooks and do groceries , fetches mom to work and from, including taking and picking up my brother to and from school.. We help every bit we can like washing dishes, clothes, sweeping the floor, doing our own laundry, and mom does big laundry during the week end. Its doing the things we can do according to our schedule. We dont stress ourselves out trying to be perfect.

well, right now its like this my wife works 50 hours a week or so I do like 20 hours aweek of chores, all of them including driving her to and from work often, except what the house cleaners do every 2 weeks then she nags me for another 30 hours or so, whether the chores are done or not, she nags and nags, about chore sthat are done already, next weeks chores, its constant If you have kids, its INSANT to have BOTH peole working 40 hours a week or more, best if they each work like 10 or 15 hours a week instead I think. If one or the other finds something full time that they actually enjoy then maybe its worth it. Eat oatmeal and stay home with the kids mostly I think.

I am single now so I do it all basically. The kids do help with their rooms,etc. When I was married I still did it all. Why would you let them do the work if only to redo it because it isn't done right. If you have someone that could actually do the chores with you then I see that you ahoulf sit down and have a family dicussion n the chores deal. This would probably help with some other topics as well. We have family time for as little as keeping the dirty clothes picked up. I sit them down and explain all that I do. Working outside the home and running everyone to practice, games, school, daycare and let them know how helpful it would be if they picked them up and put them where they go. I usually add the part that it will make your room stinky and if you leave damp towels on your clothes it will cause them to mildew and they will have to be thrown away. Your partner should understand that it is hectic for you as well as them and should be willing to help to some % with the household duties.

When my husband and I were in the same situation, I looked after the children and house while he took care of the yard on the weekend. This worked out fine for us. Get yourself and your child/children in a routine, the same as if you are still leaving the house each day to go to work. Do necessary chores first, having the children help you depending on their age. Once they are done you will find you have some time on your hands. Look on it as your place of work during the hours your husband is away and ask for his help if you need it. As for being fair - only the two of you can work that out.