Help--What do I tell my son???
By c2adams2
@c2adams2 (351)
United States
March 16, 2007 11:16pm CST
Here is the backround. My grandfather, who is 66, has always been a very robust and jovial man. He was always telling jokes and singing and dancing around the house. My children heard the same Elvis songs on his knee that I did!!!
Here is the problem. My grandfather was diagnosed with Lukeimia in January. He has been through two chemotherapy treatments, his wieght has dropped from 225 lbs. to 165 lbs. His bones stick out, he walks hunched over, and whispers everything he says. A fifteen minute trip to the story wore him out so much that he couldn't visit anymore.
The question was, how do I explain this to a four year old child? My two-year old is obviously two young to comrehend, but my son sees the changes in my grandfather and doesn't understand what is happening. What's worse is that my grandfather is about to go in for another Chemo treatment, and we are really questioning whether he will make it through.
Please, anyone who has any idea what to do...please tell me. I am at a loss. It is hard enough to deal with the loss of my grandfather, the last thing I want to do is make this more difficult to my son. Please help.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@serialmommy (639)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Tell him that grandps is very very sick. Tell him that grandpa is going through some medicine that is making it hard for grandpa right now, but will help grandpa later. Be honest and simple. Don't over explain, cause that's where you'll lose him. In fact, have Jack do it, if he's willing. I love you Christina, and I know this is very hard for you, however, you over explain things, and this is really a time to keep it as simple as possible. I know kids understand a lot, however you want to make sure that he really really gets it. Tell him that he has a sickness that is really really bad and his medicine is attacking the sickness. You can even tell him it's called cancer. I don't think that much more than that needs to be said right now. He doesn't need to know that there is the potential for grandpa to die. Keep in mind, to him, everything is either yesterday, today, or tomorrow. Last week is yesterday. Next month is tomorrow. And right now is today. It's broken down that simple. He won't really understand the "might" or "potential" in the healing or the dying. And he won't understand the dying until it (if) happens and it is needed to be explained to him then.
1 person likes this
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Thanks Jme. It's tough...the boy is so curious. My fault, I know, but I seems as if there are no answers to satisfy him, just as there are no answers to satisfy me. I believe it is times like this when it is most difficult to be an athiest. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could believe in a higher power and heaven so that my children and I could have some comfort from this.
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@serialmommy (639)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I really think that you need to have Jack explain it. With his beliefs, he may be able to help A (not putting his name for obvious reasons) with understanding as Jack does believe in a higher power (of sorts). This is a really hard thing for an adult to cope with and understand, let alone a little guy like A. He is very curious, and I think you and Jack are just going to have keep saying the same things, if nothing else so he understands that the answers will always be the same.
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
17 Mar 07
you say people get sick sometimes, grandpa is very sick now
its very sad but he had many good years of being happy and healthy
he loves you and cares for you, right now he is sick and can't visit
something like that
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