What gender are most of your online friends? Why?
By Leca
@lecanis (16647)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
March 17, 2007 3:22pm CST
I was thinking today about how people react to gender online. Personally, I have more male friends offline than female friends, but online I have just as many female friends as male. I think it's because I don't see the gender when I'm talking to someone online, just the ideas, ways of expressing themselves, and interests of the person I'm talking to.
I know some poeple who only have online friends of certain genders in order to avoid making their partners jealous. I also know some people who only talk to people of the gender they are looking for a partner of, because they're really only online to find a mate. I get frustrated by this sometimes because I really just want to talk to people and make friends, and either be hit on me or go away immediately when they find out I am married.
So my question is: What gender of most of your online friends? Is it a conscious choice or does it just seem to happen that way?
12 people like this
32 responses
@magicalangel (642)
• Brisbane, Australia
17 Mar 07
On net life I have more male friends but in real I have female friends in huge number. I guess opposite gender attracts specially when we can't see each other or eager to know him/her.
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
18 Mar 07
To be honest, I don't really care if anyone is a guy or a girl. I am not here to date so why should I bother? As long as you treat me as a good online friend, I am prepared to reciprocate. ;-)
@vinu123 (224)
• India
18 Mar 07
well , i have lot of friends online are male, & i do make friends quite a lot online. i can't deny the fact that i do have female frie4nds online too but doesn't exceed the real number of having male friends. i was thinking today about how people react online. Personally , i have male friends, but online i have just as many female friends as male. I't s because i don't see the gender when i am talking to someone online. just the ideas , ways of expressing themselves, & intrest of the person i am talking too. i know some people who only have online friends of certain genders.can u believe it? i actually don't put myself into such criterias while making friends.i really get frustrated sometimes cause when i try to chat or talk to my friends or my relatives online, these unknown people who try to make relationship with me bug me with their chat's. it is conscious choice or does it just seem to happen that way always with everybody.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Mar 07
Thanks for your response! It annoys me too when strangers try to chat with me like that. I love to make friends, but I'm not looking for a romantic relationship, and even if I were, that wouldn't be the way to start one with me! =p
1 person likes this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I have a pretty good mix of both. I would have to say I am closer to the girls that the guys as far as sharing things but the guys are always good for a laugh.I don't tend to look at the gender when making an on line friend it's more about do we have things in common that we can talk about and are our personalities compatible. I'm not on line looking for a love interest just friends so gender doesn't matter to me
2 people like this
@Maxxiez (15)
• Canada
18 Mar 07
Most of my friends are male, more like 95% of all my friends, I believe this is because of the gene in male, More male like playing games then female, Female mostly like to do other things such as going outside to play and stuff. So it would be very rare to have more female friends than male.
2 people like this
@reeze_828 (137)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
Nice topic Lecanis! Well in my expience, most of the time some of my male friends are always online. And some of my female friends are busy in house keeping.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Mar 07
That could be a definte influence. Overall the men I know who talk online do seem to spend more time online than the women I know. I'm not sure if "housekeeping" is the reason, but for some people it could be.
I know when I'm online I'm not really here all the time. I'll make a few posts to mylot, then go play with the baby, then do some housekeeping stuff... or during the week I'll get on for a few minutes right before I go to work, and I'll be getting ready for work between posts.
1 person likes this
@melanie652 (2524)
• United States
18 Mar 07
Most of my online friends are women. Most of my email friends are women. Same way with most of my offline friends. Not really sure why it's that way, but that's the way it is. I don't believe it's a conscious choice. I don't have any concerns about my husband being jealous of my male friends. I'm not concerned about him having female friends either. We trust each other. So I guess that it just happens that way that most of my friends are women?
@freesoul (3021)
• Egypt
17 Mar 07
Most of my offline friends are males like me but online i think it's more or less equal although i prefer to talk to females, I'm not progressively looking for a soulmate online but I'm leaving all possibilities open and i do communicate with married ladies as I'm not only searching for love, I just think it would be nice if i come across the right one online just as it might happen offline.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Mar 07
Thanks for your response!
I agree that you can meet up with the right person even if you're not progessively looking for them. That's how it happened to me, actually. I wasn't even thinking about doing the "online romance" thing when I met my husband, but it turned out pretty well for me. Good luck to you, online and off!
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It's kinda equal actually..though I onlt have three best friends which I actually share everything with.
I don;t see gender either when talking to someone..not only online, but ever truly..they're just a person with their own unique ideas, gifts, talents, hopes, dreams, pasts, loves, etc.
I don;t really choose one gender over the other, or try to make the amount equal..it's just kinda the way it is I guess.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
17 Mar 07
Thanks for your response! I agree with you on not seeing gender in real life either really. The only reason I have more male friends than female offline is that more males tend to be interested in the same things I am, at least in the area where I live.
1 person likes this
@jean_rose (415)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
Most of my online friends (here at Mylot and at Yahoo!260) are mostly ladies. And I chose them through conscious choice. Being a married mother of two, I don't feel at ease with a lot of males gracing my friends list. I am not really choosy. I just feel that it is best to keep more women friends than men friends because of my marital status.
@avinashrocks007 (82)
• India
18 Mar 07
Majority of my friends online are males but i do have female friends toooooo. It's not that females online are rare but maybe females just don't have that kind of attraction towards the net, computers and gizmos. Majority of females are not completely technology oriented. All u girlz out there dont get me wrong , but that's what the basic fact is. Females today still prefer to chat and gossip on the phone than take part in stuff online
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Mar 07
*laughs* I guess I'm just an atypical female then! Actually, I think this applies less now than it did when the internet was younger. I know ten years ago most of the people I saw online were male, but now more and more women are interested in it. Especially on forums like this, as opposed to online games. Even then, I play World of Warcraft and other online games, and I often meet fellow females there.
1 person likes this
@netski_15 (423)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
My online friends are mostly girls. I don't pick or what it just happened and I'm thankful with this because as a girl, I can easily relate with them and open girl stuffs on line.
2 people like this
@getallica (76)
• India
18 Mar 07
Online well i hav more friends of the feminine gender which i dont hav in real life........ coz it gets very difficult for me to face them straight
2 people like this
@petaldrop (1)
•
18 Mar 07
i have a mix of both male and female. I not really thought about it really i just like to talk and as long as your chatting back i dont mind wat gender you are .
2 people like this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
18 Mar 07
In fleshspace, I definitely have more female friends than male. For the MOST part, I also have more female friends in cyberspace-- although I am tempted to break this down "by interest." Overall, though I probably have three female friends for every one male friend.
It "just happens," it seems. Of course that's not REALLY true-- it's the result of many of my interests in life being in areas that tend to be female-dominated. But it "just happens," in the sense that I don't choose my interests because there happen to be women there, but because they interest me. Does that make sense? And so the distribution isn't always true. For example I collect stamps, play golf, and I'm into sci-fi reading/writing... all hobbies that attract more men than women. But when I go to self-growth retreats, or belong to online forums to do with psychology, or even "general" writing... most people are women. The same goes for my interests in art, cooking, gardening, and so forth. Similarly, because I am NOT hugely interested in cars, sports, hunting, and "building stuff" there's a large segment of "normal male-ness" I have very little exposure to (or interest in).
The whole "mate" thing is weird, isn't it? People get SO focused they completely forget that the people they encounter exist outside the categories of "mate" and "not-mate." Whereas I am certainly totally OPEN to the idea that I might meet someone through the Internet... it's not a GOAL of any kind. People are people, to me... some are interesting, and some are not. What follows from that, may unfold as it will. But that's a whole other discussion.
Meanwhile, I promise I won't hit on you... :-D
@crezy_kabeer (14)
• Pakistan
18 Mar 07
I don't see gender either when talking to someone.. not only online, but ever truly. they're just a person with their own unique ideas, gifts, talents, hopes, dreams, pasts, loves, etc.I also had many bad things with my girls online but then its matter of faith always, they belive and we had, then for guys i like the way we think together also, its very good to listen to guys sometimes rather than girls..... thats why may be but that does not means something redeculious for God sake i am a normal person i like only girls in bed but guys are more mature in talk then girls i think so why add guys in my friends list.......... cheers.
2 people like this
@aissha (2036)
• India
18 Mar 07
in my personal life i've all girlfriends only but online strangely exceptone ,who is friend because she is writing novel and i give suggestion ,all are males only,i've never offered anyone to be my firend but messaging and chatting like this i don't know why males are more friends . since they are not my front of me so i'm okay .
2 people like this
@pandeypriya2003 (3)
• India
18 Mar 07
Ofcourse male.As a female i have a natural attraction towards male.
2 people like this