I flare up

Hey, the only solution i feel for your problem is that you have change your mind set. Why should we get angry becoz of others? Why we have to suffer because of them? May be i am hurting others becoz of my anger, so why dont i change? Like this you have to think. Also dont take all things to heart. Then also you can control your anger......

remember this saying-I CAN BE YOUR BESTFRIEND BUT I CAN ALSO BE YOUR WORST ENEMY! we're only human and sometimes you really can't control what you feel.you can't hide anything to anybody everytime.you have to show them who you really is.you should not be afraid that they might leave you coz of your attitude or whatever.okay to make everything clear BE YOURSELF-and that's it.try to be frank or down to earth-try to tell them what you want and what you don't want.NOBODYS PERFECT DEAR!

You didn't say how old you are, but the inability to control ones behavior is a sign of immaturity. If you are already grown, there is no excuse for it. Try finding somewhere else to vent your anger such as going for a run, or a bike ride, or working out with weights instead of exploding at the other person. No matter how much you feel justified in what you say to the other person, anger that boils over can never, ever be taken back. You can apologize and apologize but the hurt will always stay with that person. Even if they say they forgive you, you have done a damage to their heart that will never go away. Is a temporary release for your anger worth that? Another thing you can do when you feel like an eruption is about to take place is to just tell the other person that you need to take a break and leave the room. Don't stay around until it has already happened. If you really truly feel that you cannot help it, maybe it is time to see a doctor, because it will probably get worse not better if you can't get it under control.