who can me make me laugh?

If I tell you one of my jokes you'd be laughing so hard your teeth would get locked and sore. I don't intend to get you in tears if I start telling jokes or even tease. I do love humor also. Hmmmmm..........oh well why not! A boy wanted to skip kindergarten so he can get into the 3rd grade. He teacher, surprised, took him to the principals office. The teacher and principal decided to ask the boy a couple of questions to test him. The principal asks the boy, "What is 3 x 3?" The boy answers "9!" The principal asks again, "What is 9 x 4?" The boy answers "36!" The principal looks at the teacher and says, "Ok! He is ready to enter the 3rd grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Wait! Let me ask the boy some questions." The principal agrees. The teacher asks the boy, "When starts with the C and ends with the T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains white liquid inside?" The principal's eye were wide open in horror. The boy answers, "Coconut!" The teacher then asks the boy, "What goes in hard....and pink....then comes out...then comes out soft....then sticky?" The principal is disturbed by the quesiton. The boy answers, "Bubblegum!" The teacher then asks the boy, "You stick your big poles inside me....You tie me down...to get me up...I get wet before you do." The principal is shocked and his face is in disgust. The boy answers, "A tent!" The teacher then asks the boy, "I have a hard stiff shaft...My tip penetrates....I come with a quiver." The principal's face is disfigured. The boy answers, "An arrow!" The teacher then asks the boy, "It is wet, long and juicy..." The principal interrupts the teacher and says, "Damn it! Just send the boy to the 6th grade! The questions you gave to the boy I got them all wrong!"

dad:if u pass in exams i will present u one cycle son:if i fail dad:i will give 10 cycles son :its good ,but why 10? dad:to start a cycle shop..

"Daddy, what are those two dogs doing to each other?" "Uhh...one's sick and the other one's pushing him to the hospital!"

Do you believe in reincarnation? I do. Do you want to know why? It's because I want to become an egg in my next life. That way I'll get laid every morning, get eaten everyday, and get hard in three minutes.

Okay here's one, so I hope that I do make your day!;) Q: What's the difference between Prince Charles and a booger? A: PRince Charles is 'HEIR' to the THRONE.. While a booger is THROWN to the 'AIR'.. Hope you did get the meaning, have a nice day!;)