For a working couple, who should pay the bills?
By vgolden
@vgolden (89)
United States
March 19, 2007 12:01am CST
My friend called me, and told me she is fighting with her husband about paying the bills. They moved to a new place and bought a house. Her husband is an engineer and earns much more than her. She got a startup job not long ago.
My firend said her husband suggested he pays for the house, and she pays for all else. Well, she also paid part of the downpayment though. Now he found a a set of fancy furniture and likes very much. He insists she should pay for it. She tried hard but still can't make it. She therefore asked if he would help a bit but was refused. She had saved a little extra money of her own, but that's for emergency only.
So far I am not sure how to suggest her. What do you think mylot friends? Any suggestions are more than welcome.
2 people like this
13 responses
@Destiny007 (5805)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I am the only one with an income right now, but that doesn't matter in the least.
Even if my wife had an income, the only thing that would change is that we would have more money for the joint account.
We don't look at money or anything else as mine or hers, it is ours.
PC's, furniture, whatever, we don't worry about those things.
Although she has been known to borrow my clothes from time to time, I don't really look good in hers so I never really felt the need to borrow her things.
2 people like this
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
22 Mar 07
My husband makes a lot more than I do, but OUR money goes into OUR account and WE pay the bills. That is how is should be, marriage is a partnership and it should be a joint venture. We also each take a set amount of money out of our pays for incidentals, like gas, groceries, etc. The rest goes for bills.
1 person likes this
@amitksing (1323)
• India
21 Mar 07
I think this decision should be based on mutual understanding. If you are a married couple, then you should consider each other's money as no different, but your own money. You should have at least this much understanding between you two such that monetary matters do not come between your relations! I think both the partners should accumulate the money at a place, and then sit back and do some homework on deciding as how to spend/investd that money. Better if come to one conclusion!
1 person likes this
@faraza (159)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 07
no doubt marriage is about sharing. but only share when both parties agree. as i am a woman, i would suggest the husband pays everything, wife helps whenever possible. may be the wife can have suggest to the hsband, since she's been doing all the housework (i assume she is), why not he pay half the price, and she pay another half. or he can do all the housework so she can do extra job to pay for the furniture. thank god my husband is very understanding...
1 person likes this
@vgolden (89)
• United States
30 Mar 07
It is very true from my understanding. As although housework doesn't seem difficult, it does need time. In addition, many housework arrangement needs you to put all your heart and spirit, because only a quality housework can guarantee keeping every number of a family healthy and happy.
It is a pity sometimes some husbands don't seem to find it important, they simply think anybody can do it when he pays. But personally I don't really think the paid service is as delicate and caring. Thank you for the great remark!
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
19 Mar 07
That's ridiculous!
If he makes more money than her, and they are married, why aren't they sharing expenses?
The mortgage is likely one payment once a month with a set amount, whereas the utility bills, groceries and other day to day expenses can range, sometimes much higher. I know what I pay for those is much higher than my boyfriend's mortgage, so it sounds like she's getting saddled with a lot of responsibility.
1 person likes this
@vgolden (89)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Thanks for the remark! It is quite true that the day-to-day expenses is not settled at a sum each time. I guess she agreed to pay all the others because their house costs more. I did not went over for a visit yet, but they moved from California to Taxes and I guess they bought an expensive house with their savings.
@msjigga (864)
• United States
13 May 07
I believe in marriage a Man should be the person paying the bills. Men are suppose to take care of the finances women are suppose to take care of the household. That is what a Man is. A women should take care of the entertainment items like cable and phone, and women should pay for clothing and household things. But a Man should pay for the upkeep of the home and car, and investment stuff like stocks, bonds, etc
1 person likes this
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
11 May 07
I think that the two of them should have one bank account, and put in their earnings jointly. They are married, and there is no reason to divide anything.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
12 May 07
Personnally if she can't pay all the bills and her husband won't help. Than it is time to start cutting cost somewhere til he does help. Get rid of the cable/satilaite. If he wants it back he can get it himself and pay it. Same for his cellphone or internet. It sounds like she is being taken for a ride. Why should he have lots of extra money sitting in his pocket while she goes broke supporting him? That is not fair. Nor is it very manly like. Sounds like he needs to grow up.
1 person likes this
@theproperator (2429)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Me and my boyfriend have lived together for almost 4 years now. The solution we have come up with is that we divide the bills by percentage according to how much each of us is earning. We take the total of what we earn and figure out the percentage each of us has earned. It usually equals out about 60% and 40%, so that is how we split the bills. Then we took all our "regular bills" like utilities, mortgage, cable, etc. that are shared expenses and figured out who should pay what to equal the 60/40 split.
Groceries and incidentals we split evenly. And then each of us is responsible for our "own" bills, like our cars, video games, etc.
Can't say that it would work for everyone, but it works for us.
1 person likes this
@lbbaby (489)
• China
28 Mar 07
I think after marriage, that's their corporate possessions and there's not a clear gap to distinguish it. I will suggest that she should talk to her husband to open an account to afford the expense, and according to the income , they should make a plan patiently to find a comfortable solution to solve the problem.
1 person likes this
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
I don't think that their set-up is right in the first place. For a married couple, I don't think this should be an issue. I believe that whoever has the ability to pay for something really needed should pay for it. Maybe you should tell your friend that he should talk to his husband and tell him that she simply can't buy that and refuse to do so.
we haven't had that problem because what we do is we combine our money and take from it whatever needs to be paid for. We never talk about who earns more. We look at our money as one. Not his or mine but ours.
@asherah (104)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
That is so unfair. They are couples, they should share when it comes to expenses. Both sides must keep a part of their salary and the rest should be budgeted according to the needs inside the house. Besides, the guy earns much than the woman. Maybe the guy is having an affair with some other woman. Tell your friend that she should not tolerate the behavior of his husband. It is not fair. That will be never fair. The guy should be the one shouldering the majority of the expenses. The woman's salary is a help. They need to talk about that issue. That is so ridiculous.
