Totally Frustrated
By minerc
@minerc (1373)
United States
March 19, 2007 4:30pm CST
I have been totally frustrated lately, dealing with a step mom, real dad and my step daughters real mom. I don't understand why people cannot just accept the fact that everyone is involved with these children's up bringing and just get along and not be so crappy toward each other and even the children. How come I am the one that picks up the pieces with everyone. These kid's are so confused with things and I tell them everything will be ok but I feel like I am just going to loose it. My son's dad don't want me to see him he graduates in June, then he is going to bootcamp I havent been able to see him in 4 years because of his dad, and now his dad is pitching a fit for him wanting to see me and he don't know what to do, but he does know he cant stand up to his dad. My stepdaughters, are running rampid at there moms she is letting them do things that are just to risky and it's like she don't care, they bring school projects and homework over for help on and I help with it, they want to take cooked food to there moms because she is making them cook for themselves. I don't mind all of it but hello dont she need to step up at some point and become a mom and not a friend. It is totally frustrating. How can people handle all this at one time.
2 people like this
4 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
20 Mar 07
well if i had to deal with all you have to deal with,i would have already lost it a long time ago..Its Hard to have to deal with ex wives,ex husbands, step children,you own children..These marriages that each spouse has children is hard,i saw my poor brother go through it, and you being a woman its even harder on you..If all of those steps and ex's would consider the children and stop thinking about themselves you could all live in peace...I know that is what you want but no one wants it but you,so thats hard...Your step daughters have a mother that really don't care..It seems her biggest project is fighting you with those girls...If you have to cook for those girls how come they don't just live with you? I don't see how your ex husband could expect you to not come to your son's graduation...If he were my son,and he wanted me there,I would just go anyway...The main reason that you are the one that has to pick up the pieces is because you seem to be the only one who cares...I can't tell you anything to do without hurting the kids ...i could think of a lot but hey,like i said it would only hurt the kids...Well good luck dear,I do hope things turn out well for you..i know it seems to be an endless battle..
1 person likes this
@minerc (1373)
• United States
20 Mar 07
Thank You! We did fight for custody but the guy who did the evaluation said it should be shared because the kids wanted to live with both parents. He didnt understand that the kids wouldnt say only dad because she would get mad at them and not talk to them for day's. But it's the way it ended up.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Well thankfully you are there for your step children- You sound like a wonderful step mom. I've read other discussions you have had about your step-kids, Sure their real mom needs to grow up and take on the responsibilty of parenting! She probably won't.. so thankfully the girls have someone to turn to! Kudos to you for that!
The situation with your own son is saddening. Do what you can to see your son graduate and see him off to boot camp. I wish he would stand up to his dad--- It is important for kids to have both of their parents. Keep on working on this-
Sounds like you are doing all the right things-- just keep it up!
@sizzle3000 (3036)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I do not mean to be rude hower, as far as your sepdaughters are concerned you should not be in there. It is their father who should be fighting with their mother. As a step parent you have to step back and make your husband do the right thing. Even if the right thing is to go to court and sue for full custody of his kids. He made this children with another woman and it is up to him and her I am sorry to say to fix this problem. If they can't then the courts can.
As far as your ex not letting you see your son well the courts can also come in handy here. Unless there is an order of protection out you go see your son graduate. The place he is graduating from I am sure is a public place.
Good luck with all.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
What does your husband say about it all?Doesn't he give you the support you need to cope? My past marriage involved a step family but for me it was all a disasterbecause it was every one for themselves and no support from my ex who always wanted me to be just the servant to his family and I was expected to take all the crap/ I think the only way you can cope is to set boundaries..unless you have those..it will be difficult. Get your hubby to get more involved..it is his responsibility at the end of the day..As much as you like to please himand look at his kids asyour won family..He and His ex have a main responsibilty for them..You can only do so much.
1 person likes this
