dont say "no"

I would say that saying no to our child even though he's still below 2 years old is a good way of teaching him/her that her/his action is not good.We could accompany our no with the gesture of waving our hands.In that way he will understand that his/her action is prohibited.I don't think so that at young age our child will not understand the simple meaning of no.

Some "experts" on child rearing say that telling a small child no constantly and without giving an explanation eventually makes the word meaningless and results in backtalking later on. I agree with them and you on this one. My daughter is three. She and I have lived with a housefull of people since she was born, all of them tell her no alot. Most of the time she is told why, but not always. She talks back and tells me no alot now and she's also very bossy. My advice to you is to continue to be firm about not allowing your husband and family members to tell your son no especially without explanation. When you hear them do it, explain to your son why he was told no, remind them again to do that themselves and eventually they should get the idea.

First I would like to commend you for making the effort to not just say no to your child but expound on what he shouldnt be doing. Its a really great idea from a mom. But maybe you should start introducing the word No to him too. But follow it up with your reasons like No, dont touch that. Its a very common word and when youre pissed youre really gonna say it outright so to make it easier for both parties, just introduce it to him but still implement your same reasoning to anyone who talks to your child.

OK, you are thinking WAY too much. Your son is 17 MONTHS old, not 17 YEARS. He doesn't understand what he is doing is wrong, nor does he care. All he cares about is what he wants, whether you think it is right or wrong. Please tell me how you are going to discipline your child as he gets older WITHOUT saying the word no? You are a "now now dear" parent. You will wind up with a child who will run rampant all over the place because you won't be able to control him simply because the word NO is not allowed to be used in context of directing your child. Get over it. Be a PARENT! Set the rules, expect them to be followed. Even at 17 months old, you can reinforce the guidelines that you want. By the way, I'll bet you $1000 that I don't have that my children would win hands down in behavior than yours. You know why? I say no. I smack their hands. On occassion *gasp* I even smack their butts! Let me tell you something, you are setting yourself up for a child that runs you and trains you and not the other way around. Have fun being little boy blue's slave, because that's what you are doing.

Not to be argumentative, but by never saying no, you could be setting yourself up for trouble. My son is about the same age as yours, so MAYBE you won't have this problem if you're not already. I began working to discipline him months ago - saying no, a small spank on the hand if he continued at whatever... My wife was just the opposite. Now he's absolutely horrid around her - he does everything he knows he's not supposed to do and she can't control him. Then I get home, she leaves him with me, and he's good as gold for hours, even coming over to snuggle. That's the difference between a baby who knows where the line is, and who thinks he's the alpha dog. Children are usually not naturally nice people - they will walk all over you if you let them.

Well the first thing that strikes me is that your son hasnt hit the terrible twos yet and you and your husband are already dissagree on things. Boy are you two gona have fun soon. As far as telling him no or explaining it I know the modern experts think its a bad idea but we have a whole generation of kids raised on modern experts and I really think that we need to revert back to the old ways because we have more problems now with teenagers than ever. With children that young it really doesnt matter if you say no or explain it what matters is the tone of your voice and facial expressions thats how they know if you are upset or not.

Just keep on them about it. Maybe they just forget and say "no" because they are used to saying it to small children. You have a very good idea there, about telling your child why something should'nt be touched. I am going to start doing that instead of saying "no" all the time as well. Just keep telling them to say what you would prefer them to, and they should catch on. It's just a habit to some people to tell a child "no". Don't hold it against them, just give them time to adjust. Best of luck to you.

I have worked with problem behavior kids and the technique of child discipline that is most effective is to say a firm "NO" by directly looking in their face and by making them look at ypu. Kids this small do not understand what your reasons are and they loose the reason alltogather. Infact what you are doing is unintentionally harming your kid as he would not understand at all to differentiate between accepted and unaccepted behavior. He would not understand where is the line that marks totally wrong behavior(that uis dangerous to him) and what is slightly okay(little mischieves we all enjoy. If you keep at it you will have behavior problemn kid on your hand very soon. They cry because then they know that they are not getting what they want. their ego gets hurt. have you thought about it that your explaining to him may sound like nagging to him or irrelevant jibbrish to him.He can not make out whether he can do it or can not do it. he may choose to ignore your comments very soon as he grows up and learns to manipulate you. Your technique of handling him is toally age inappropriate. explaining will come but later as his mental faculties develop but not yet. Talk to a therapist to confirm what I have said, in your area. To say the last but not the least you are his mother and know whats best for your kid but you are also the only guiding light he has. A gentle nudge here and there is required to make him walk straight on the life's path.

I tell my son "No. Don't touch." My son is 14 months, when I say the word "no" he backs away from whatever he is doing and he smiles and walks off and goes on to something else. I see nothing wrong with it. I do understand that you should explain, but at this age they don't understand to many words being thrown at him. Simple words first. But if I were you and if it really bothers you, you have a right to say something. I would just tell them every time you hear someone tell him "no" then just correct them and show them how you want it done. Maybe if you keep with it and show them what you want done, they will respect you as a mother and stop just saying "no" and try your way. Good luck.

Spare the "NO" for the real important issues. Children this age really do have the tendency to be curious about anything and everything. Try distracting them to another thing instead of just saying no. Using the word too often may loose its meaning to the child and in turn will not be beneficial for you as a parent. There are children who would see it as a common word and simply do it more instead of less. Let your child experience something on his own. With you around nothing can go wrong as long as you keep an eye on him. Its a lot of work but it will be worth it.

i dont agry with u cose ur son will out frome ur controll as if u dpnt say no and he is 17 years old that means he can make a disition on what he have to do and he olso know what is good or bad so u r the one that have to breake the silence u r making hem irrisponible boy which u dont need it (i think) and he have to say no if u want him to be seccsefull if u have any q forward it

I have a 9 month old daughter & unfortunately the sentences to stop her doing things are kind of pointless - they don't understand the words but something like NO they pick up. Especially if it's a NO & they are removed from the area or have something taken off them. If you do the NO thing & they cry, then they have understood (although i don't believe you need to YELL it). Eventually, you're gonna ask him to do something & he's going to say no, whether you like it or not so i don't think that using NO to discipline him will really make a difference in that aspect. I have found that a simple NO works with my daughter when i dont want her somewhere or touching something. I only do this coz i know that 'Leave it alone' makes no sense to her yet. I dunno, your 17 month old understands more (obviously) but NO is a good word to use - it's simple & to the point, when said firm but i do agree - saying it 10 times in a row seems silly. I'd go with NO & moving him or taking whatever it is off of him, then he'll start getting the picture. I think all kids will say NO back to their parents anyway so that's still to come! - I have 8 nieces/nephews so that happens a LOT! -

Try avoid say No .If we say in any occations it will feel bad to the listner.We should adopt indirect method something like sorry etc.The word "NO" can't be used where it reference to others.If it refers to us then we can use.example if someone asked me to give me your pen?? I can tell sorry it is not good to write.If i am watching one football match and my team is loosing then i can tell like NO it should't.

Thanks for this discussion. I am trying so hard to decide what we should do with the whole "no" concept, and this is definitely a discussion I will keep up with.... very helpful!

Well, to me, I would see no reason not to be telling your Child NO if it is in their Best interest. Now if you go over doing it, I will admit, it might make your child not know what they really need to be doing. What you might try doing is figure out a better way to have your Family and husband approach your child so when he is older he will distinguish don't to No, etc.

I have two little boys age 2 years and the other 9 months. I dont like to tell them "no" either but I have also realized that children no matter how old really do understand alot more then we actually think. Yelling is only going to scare him and will only create more havock in the long run. Perhaps there is some other ways you and your husband can agree on to discipline him when doing something wrong vice telling him no a million and one times. A time out for a minute or taking his favorite toy away for 20 minutes or so...but also explain to him that what he did wasnt how we should act and that it upsets you when he doesnt behave. Trust me he'll understand alot more than you think but do it in a normal tone of voice not with anger or frustration becuase that too can scare him just like yelling "NO" at him all the time

i say tell them this is your child and you would like it if they didnt tell him that,this is your child not theres its almost like a mother of coarse wouldnt want people cursing in front of there child,thats just how you want to raise him they should have respect its not right for them to do it if you ask them not to.

Have fun!!i'm still unmarried so i dont have kids.

Wow you have a really good point. I catch myself saying no to my daughter way too much. I need to start trying your techniques. Unfortunately my daughter is already telling me know and shakes her head at me. She was going to do it eventually I suppose. I would just keep telling your family and husband to stop telling him no all the time. Saying no is just habit for some people and they just need to learn to get out of that habit if your way is working.

I think what you are doing is right and good...but sometimes No is the best option...it alarms them and gets their attention.