from pregnancy until now... hiding the baby?
By fianne
@fianne (1057)
United States
March 21, 2007 2:10am CST
my classmate, my best friend in college got pregnant. she called me out and talked to me and told me not to tell it to our friends and classmates. she was hiding her tummy that it has gotten bigger and she uses jacket every time she goes out even if it is really hot. she delivered the baby in a hospital where there are no affiliates of our school having duty in the delivery room since we are nursing students. until now, she do not let her baby go out with her every time she goes out to attend mass, hang out and go to school. as if nothing happened and as if she is not a mother at all. i hate her for doing that and i talked to her about it but she just reasoned out that it's hard to bring the baby with him because she breast feeds. i just really pray it will change and she will be proud of her baby and as a mother.
7 people like this
19 responses
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
21 Mar 07
oh that is sad. It sounds as though she is ashamed or embarssed to be a mother..
In High school I remember there was a girl who hid her pregnancy from everyone I even sat next to her and had No Idea..... She had the baby and returned to school but was proud to be a mother....
I hope she sorts her self out for everybodies sake involved, that is not healthy to keep on living your life as though nothing happened....
Strange I can understand hiding the fact of being pregnant but to hide a child that is not Normal....
3 people like this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
I do NOT understand her... Even if her boy-friend left her and she is a single mother... For me, having a child is such a joy, that no other problems could prevent me from enjoying being a mom.
I would advise her to consult with a psychologist or to attend "single mothers" meetings to obtain self-assurance and become a proud mother after all.
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
22 Mar 07
It's sad to hear things like this. It isnt right for her to do this but it is her right as a parent to decide what to do with the baby as long as she is not bringing any harm to the baby. If she continues to do this when the baby is older it may cause the baby to wonder what is wrong that her mother cant be proud of her. I could never do that to a child and I didnt during all 5 of my pregnancy's. She will one day regret this. Who takes care of the baby while she is out and how do they feel about it?
@mansha (6298)
• India
20 Apr 07
how horrible, where is she leaving the baby, I hope not alone and will she be thrown out of the college for having the baby. I am surprised she is managing this. Raising the baby is a full time job how can she handle it. I can understand her pressure but still leaving bay alone would be risky, I hope she arranges for a baby sitter. May be once she finishes her college she can take care of the child more properly. she can put theb baby for adoption meanwhile , because, neglect also is a form of abuse. what if something happens to the baby when she ios out attending mass or hanging out with her friends. how horrible.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
22 Mar 07
It is very sad. She has kept her pregnancy & now her baby, in hiding. She can't keep doing this.
I think your friend needs to see a counsellor.
I think of how the baby will be affected, if the mother keeps it in hiding for too long.
She must think of her baby now and build a life for it and her together, in the open.
@clod0327 (817)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
This is really a sad story. Maybe it still hasn’t sink in to your friend. Parenting is really one though responsibility but it is also rewarding. I believe that it is the natural instinct of the mother to love and care for her child. So maybe your friend is just taking it slow. I know there will come a time that she will learn to accept her child and be proud about it.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
Hiding the baby and not telling others about it, that's her prerogative. Neglecting the baby and its needs, that's unacceptable. She's a mother now whether she likes it or not, and she should take care of that baby as best as she can. As long as she's doing that, I think it's okay if she prefers not to talk about it.
@kaiyascloset (372)
• United States
22 Mar 07
That is an extremely strange situation she has made herself and the baby! I don't understand why she is continuing to hide the baby. She needs lots of prayers and probably should talk to someone.
@Minuuu (31)
• India
22 Mar 07
I think its really bad to hide one's own baby..She must talk to the guy responsible and act accordingly..Also being so young its very difficult to manage such situations..She must tell her parents, make them understand, and get their help..
She must seek someone's help, her parent's or the guy responsible to get settled and be a proud mother..
@bad1981 (799)
• United States
22 Mar 07
How sad is that! A baby is the best gift one could recieve and a woman should be proud of any child that she has. Its unfortunate that she doesnt feel that way herself. As a mother myself, Id never hide any of my children. They are the one thing that always make me proud and smile.
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
21 Mar 07
How on earth is she hiding the baby? I can see hiding a pregnancy but not a baby. Does she provide adequate care for the baby when she goes to "hang out" or to mass or to school? Does she care for the baby when she is with the baby?
I feel sorry for the baby. This could create longterm socialization disorders in the child. Babies and toddlers and children need to interact with people in order to grow up and become well rounded adults. Isolating a child and not giving it adequate love and attention (and I hope this is not the case with your friend) could create massive irreversible problems as this child grows.
I hope that she comes to her senses soon. A baby is a precious gift and a heavy responsibility.
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
21 Mar 07
She is ashamed of herself for doing this out of wedlock. She should give the child to two parents that will love it and not be embarrased about it.
@dexterous21 (1180)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
There are people like that. They are doing things and they don't know what to do with the consequences that it will bear. What will happen to the baby's life if she keeps hiding that to public. I guess you should tell her that she is accontable of the baby's future.
@grazell1986 (34)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
Having a baby is a gift from God so there's no reason to hide. But because in her case of unwanted pregnancy, I cannnot blame her if she felt ashamed to show it to the people.
