Is it right for parents to demand that their children "pay them back" someday?

Catcai we come from totally different backgrounds and I understand from previous discussions that attitudes vary between countries! Here in the uk it is very unusual for children to financially support their parents unless they still live at home - then they will contribute towards the running costs of the house! I really don't know what is expected in your country but I will say this if my oarents needed my help I would give it as much as I could in a heartbeat! Yes our parents looked after us since we were born and deserve our love and respect for this, my culture however believes that we all have our own incomes so there really is no need to support your parents financially! I hope all is well honey!

I don't think children when adults don't have the obligation to pay in return what their parents have done on them, it is the natural way that parents do this because they are the ones responsible in the up-bringing of their child. But I think their children could still choose what they think is more appropriate, they can always give something for their parents as a token of gratitude. Support them and tend for them, when the time comes that parents have grown old..

omg of course my kids wont have to "pay me back" thats just insane! Granted my kids werent planned BUT I brought them into this world and as their mother its been and will continue to be until they are on their own, my responsiblity to provide for them....its not a flipping loan! Its their right and my duty IMO..... Are you sure though that your mom is serious?! or maybe I'm misunderstanding..your mom expects you to pay her back finacially for raising you??

No they should not demand for what their kids connaot afford to give them.on the other hand i beleive its the responsibility of the kids to pay them back by showing theire goodness, love and support.

Were you given a choice? A child is born without a choice. The choice was made by would be parents who felt like bringing another person into this world. With that choice comes the responsibility to provide the child with the best life possible for him to become a useful member of the society. Giving life to a child is supposed to be a selfless act of love not an insurance policy! Paying parents back for all their troubles raising you should never be obligatory. It should be more like an act of gratitude, something that came from your heart, because you love them and you are thankful. It need not be a regular thing. I believe that true pay back time is when you choose to become a parent yourself. When that happens, the responsibility has become yours because you made a choice. Only then will the idea of pay back time become an obligation. Only then will your parents realize that they indeed raised you well. Yes, you owe it to them and you'll be paying them back by nurturing a child who would one day become a responsible and useful member of the human race. now that is the bigger picture the grand design

It is not right but when children grow up they should help their parents, but they shouldn't ask. Parents are your best friends. You shoulnd't be obligated to give money back unless you feel this way.

i believe that children should really help their parents when they are able already for all the efforts that they made but i don't believe that parents should demand or force their children to pay them back. as parents, it is their obligation to raise and support their children in everything that they need. they should also be responsible enough in providing them good education. when their children are already old enough to stand on their own, they should let them be independent and decide on their own whether or not they should help their parents or not. it is not the obligation of children to pay back their parents but they may be able to help them.

No., but children should be taught to be appreciative of their parents.

What parents have done to me are priceless. There is no way I could have paid back to them. Love has the highest value, much more valuable than money or even the most expensive diamond. Even if I am a millionaire man, parents love can never be paid in return. All they need in return though is love and respect towards them as well as continuing their legacy to be passed on to next generations.

no way, how could a parent expect something like this. they are to raise the children and support them in life. the cost shouldnt mean anything to them, its all for love

I really disagree with the thought that a child should have to pay back their parents for raising them until they were 18 or 21 or whenever they become legal adults. I have personally had this said to me time and time again and I'll tell you it gets real old real quick. I don't understand how I owe my parents something for them supporting and bringing me up over the past few years. They made the conscious choice to have me as their daughter and bring me up under their roof. The least they could have done was brought me up without the thought of getting payback when I turned a certain age. I feel if the parents choose to have a son or daughter, instead of looking at the child as a commodity they should be more concentrated on bringing the child up properly. A grown adult should never look at their kid and dream about twenty years down the road being paid back for all the money they invested in bringing the child up. I think it is actually wrong to put a dollar sign on your children thinking one day they'll fetch you a huge sum of money. You should be able to enjoy just being with your child and keeping that relationship happy and healthy instead of how much money they will pay you back when they turn a certain age. I don't believe it is truly fair of the parents to go off and expect that their children pay them back for every little purchase they had to make during the time they were being raised. I think that's actually pretty terrible of a parent to ask that of their own flesh and blood. I know that I have had the same personal comments made to me about me owing them for school or something like that. It really hurt me to find out they were thinking this all along. It also made me look at them differently, almost like what they had asked needed to be signed to and agreed upon. Then I could begin a good little re-payment schedule so they would know when that money was coming to them all the time. I'm sorry but I would like to think I will never be anywhere near that type of thought process. My children will be completely priceless to me and they will NEVER have to feel like they owe me a thing. There is just something wrong about taking your kid and trying to make a bit of money off of them. I can't even see myself having a child and then just subjecting them to this eternal guilt trip. It makes me feel absolutely terrible when I think about it more and more. I want to love my child, not punish them for coming into my life. I just find it is a bad idea to lump all that guilt and negativity on to a child. They have enough to worry about in their everyday life, they don't need the extra burden of having to think about payment options for "Mom" and "Dad". I think any good parent would sacrifice for your child and go without certain luxuries just so the child could grow up with something they enjoy. That is one of the key elements, sacrificing for the greater good! In conclusion, I find it rather disturbing that some parents want to be paid back for the money they spent during the time they raised their child. I think there are better things to focus on than just money and how much we have. I would rather have a good relationship with my parents than have to answer to someone who constantly wants me to give them a portion of my earnings over the years or even the next few years! . . Thanks for allowing me to share! xx

I would never expect my daughter to pay me back for the cost of raising her!! Having a child was our choice, and so it is our responsibility to pay any costs involved. However, i do think if a child is still living at home, and working fulltime it isn't unreasonable to expect them to contribute in some way. What my parents did was got us to pay $50 a week in board (much cheaper than living anywhere else). But, when we moved out of home, we got all that money back in one lump sum. I was so surprised when they did it, and it was fantastic. That money enabled hubby and I to get the backyard landscaped and done in ways we could have only imagined!! Although my parents don't ask for money to pay back or anything, if they ever needed it, I would be more than willing to help out in anyway I can.

i do not think that a parent should demand that their children would pay them back because of one reason i think that the children should take care of their parents the moment they can and there should be no situation in which the child does not honor his parent and does not help them so they have to demand. the parents gives us everything in life and we should want to give them also the moment we can. it is not about demanding it is about loving and giving.

I don't think it is right for parents to demand compensation for everything they have spent in their children because in the first place, it is a parent's responsibility to provide his/her children with good education. As you have been expected by your mom to give repayments, then it's really up to you. By the time that you will have a job and a family of your own, you will find out that your needs come first before anyone else even your parents. I am not telling you not to help your parents. What I mean is, it shouldn't be demanded. I am in a situation where I am supporting my parents and a younger brother. I have been doing this ever since I started working ten years ago. My marriage didn't change that because I just couldn't leave them in the lurch. But I wasn't pressured into doing that. I did it by choice. I did it out of love. And they did not even spend for my college education because father was only a fisherman and mother, a housekeeper. I had to work my way through college.

if they fall in distress,they have the right to ask definately. it is our own feeling to feed them as they had given us since begining. thanks.

it should not be an obligation. but...i think it is appropriate to help their parents. yet, if parents demand too much from their children well, it's a different story. parents' obligation is take care of their child while still minors and be able to teach the values in life so that they may be able to live life independently when they grow up and not for parents being dependent to them. in the case here in the Philippines, most parents do expect too much from their children to be their hope in coping with financial crises.fortunately, there are some children who really takes care for their parents as they grow old. but some parents are abusing their children. really, it's a matter of one's perspective in life - an obligation or not.

Yes absolutely. At the aged time they require rest.They will be in need of cash .

i don't think it's right for parents to DEMAND. to ask help probably or as a child, you have a responsibility to take care of your family if they need help. my point is like this. parents shouldn't have children to "invest" in their future thru having kids. you have kids because you want to start a family. my personal experience on this is that when i started earning my money my mom asked a certain amount. but for me it was fair because i was living under their roof and meals. it is still way cheaper than having my own place. and i know my mom just asked this because she needed help financially. it all boils down to intent.

i think parents dont need to demand at all. this is our responsibility to do that. they brings us up,and it's time for us to pay them back.

Pay Back is somehow a very negative term, but it all depends on how children are raised by their parents, for one, rich people doesnt mind at all how their children earns and how they spend it, but for the those who are not that lucky, theie growing years are laden with hopes of having the chance to help his parents when he is capable enough to give help, as he sees the realities of hard living. It is not right for parents to demand pay back from their children, but te children must have grown with great values imbibed for good things to give back to their parents.