Where to draw a line?
By noyida
@noyida (795)
Singapore
March 21, 2007 4:15am CST
I had known a person for almost 20 yrs. She is a nice person on the whole. The problem with her is I find that she had been making used of me. She only called me when she need to get help or borrow money. She will give a lot of excuses when she wanted to borrow money. I had been giving and giving her if it's not a big amount. She paid me as promised but always not in time. Sometime, she will borrow again even she had not pay me the earlier amount. I got fed up and wanted to stop all this. How can I tell her without hurting her as I treasure our friendship. Should I treasure this kind of friend any longer?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@wealth168 (409)
• Singapore
22 Mar 07
I had a friend who borrowed money but never paid back despite asking for it.
There will be people who take our kindness and frienship for granted.
I think you can tell her tactfully and in a caring manner that you treasure your friendship with her but you do not want to lose her because of money. Hopefully, if she realised her mistakes, she will correct her behaviour.
If this does not work out, ignore her requests next time so that she will understand that you mean what you said. If she is your true friend, she will not do anything to jeopardise the friendship.
If she still behaves the same, then I think it is time to move on to your other sincere friends.
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
I think I will leave this friend for goods but not until I get back all my money that she had borrowed. She still owned me a few hundreds dollar. Even it have to jeopardise our friendship I will just that. She thinks I'm stupid rite. She told a friend that I'm the easiest person to borrow money from and to just give me some stupid sad reason, I will part with my money. By saying that, I think she will lose me..LOL.
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
22 Mar 07
From the sound of it, I think she is making use of you. She knows your weaknesses 'cos you'll always give in to her wants. I think the next time round, when she'd asked for money again, you should say no. Just tell her a little white lie that you need the money for something else. If she really treats you like a good friend than she should not feel offended by your decision 'cso you've ben helping her all along. Good Luck!!
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@noyida (795)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
I will tell her nicely when she approach me again for money. I should really ask her for evidence on all her excuses when borrowing money. If I'm not satisfied with her explaination, then I will heed your advise to just lie to her. I knew, she had been lying to me all along with all those stupid reason when she wanted to borrow money from me. So for once, I will do it to her back. Thanks for the suggestion, at least I wont feel so guilty. LOL.
@abbey19 (3106)
• Gold Coast, Australia
21 Mar 07
Sounds like she is just using you alright. If she does this to you regularly, she is not a friend and you would be better off without her. She is not respecing your friendship whatsoever, despite you knowing each other for such a long time. In fact, she is wearing your friendship down with her actions.
You deserve better than that noyida, move on.
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@noyida (795)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
I knew she used me, but to think that we have been friend for so long, make my heart melt every time she asked for help. I should make my heart as hard as stone the next time, I will try. Thanks for the encouragement, I think if really I cant make my heart like stone, I better cut contact with her and move on, now that I have a lot more good frens in myLOT, who need this type of fren,right?
@ghellycious (54)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
if you treat her as a friend and she abuses your generosity, then she's probably not treating you right..If you wanna stop it, tell her directly. if she really is yuor friends then she would listen and say sorry. But if she takes it against her, then the friendship should also be over.
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