REVENGE is sweet but VICTORY is sweeter!????

Your victory my sweet is in your dignity and self respect. He may never show it but for him to see you getting on with your life with your adorable baby and not wanting anything to do woth him, will hurt, if not him then certainly his pride! The fact that you refuse to run after him, begging him to come back will upset him, I think that he is one of those men that think the world revolves around them and you ignoring his existence will seriously damage his ego. Ny advice is to get on with life, raise your wonderful baby and be happy - that is the way you will reach victory honey xxx

My sobriety is my VICTORY. As I child I was very badly treated by my father. For many years I blamed everything wrong in my life due to the way he raised me & abused me physically & verbally. I sought revenge many times. Sabotaging his car at times. Harassing calls to his work etc. After awhile & talking to a therapist I also got the speech of Victory is sweeter. Well once I sobered up I gained that victory. A victory over the way I felt about dad and a victory over a major problem in my life. I guess this fits the bill here. Thanks for a good discussion also. HAPPY P[OSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB!!

You are off to a good start. revenge is for immature people, and it only ends up hurting you, It is sort of hating a person so much that you drink poison to kill him. The best way to gain victory is to delete him from your life, I understand this is difficult as there is evidence of him with you and always will be, but that child is of your body, the sperm donor, is history, If you think and plan and carry him around with you , all you are doing is giving him control that he isn't aware of and it is just as well that he remain ignorant. He is of no use or need to you don;t give him that power.

I totally understand why you would want revenge on this guy. If a guy left me while I was pregnant,you could bet I would pretty pissed. Your friend is a smart person. When you really think about it, revenge is pretty meaningless. You're trying to hurt someone who hurt you in some way and what you should really do is stop, think, and rise above what happened. I know it's way easier said than done, but if you can get by a couple of days without thinking of malicious thoughts towards this guy, you're past one of the toughest parts. Not letting him get to you and going through the rest of your days like you're strong enough to stand without him is the best you can do. I hope you get through this. Good luck.

I think you'll be victorius enough if you're able to raise the child properly without the help of your ex. It would just show that he's not much of a necessity and he's definitely not someone to run after for. Show him you can be independent.

I need to ask you WHY you want to get back at him when it takes 2 to make a baby? Please leave the guy alone. You can have victory by concentrating on this beautiful baby. Your ex is the loser because he will miss out in the raising of a child. I dearly enjoyed raising my 2 boys. I raised them by myself, and I get along much better with their father than I used to. Believe me, it will get better with time. Yes, I believe that nothing is greater than sharing your life with a child. Remember, your ex is your baby's father so, in a sense, if you hurt him you are hurting your baby, too. Your baby can't help who his/her parents are so please keep your baby happy and safe and away from fussing and conflict. Please do not be like you say your mother is.

I was in a relationship, and my ex was horrible very critical, cheated you just name it he did it. The relationship ended, and he had a series of bad luck. I on the other hand met someone nice, got a good job, my own home etc. Of course, he wanted to come back. I sure did have good laugh. being victorious is a good feeling, revenge only makes you bitter. If you go the revenge route, the person still has power over you. If you are victorious, they have no power.

victory is when you dont belittle yourself down to his level. Yes It might make you feel better for the revenge. But the revenge could get you into trouble, and you could lose your baby all together. I encourage you to be the suprerior thinking one in this situtation. Make him pay. I mean go to child services in your state(most countries have this), and be sure he supports his child. this is a victory for your child, and maybe it might help your feel better. Not for the revenge, but for the fact your child is going to be taken care of.

I never experienced this kind of situation. But having the baby alone is achieving victory already. The baby is a gift from God and by choosing to keep the baby, you have received the wonderful gift of being a mother to child. Your ex decided to leave, so it’s really his lost not yours. I know it’s more easily said than done and maybe you’re still hurting right now. But once the baby is out, just a simple touch or a simple smile from your child can surely wipe all your pains and worries away. I know how it feels, because I’m a mother too so I know how victorious it feels to have a child and the joy it brings to a mother.

Catcai, Would you rather he stayed with you even though he doesn't have any feelings for you now? I mean would you actually want to be with someone even though they didn't want you anymore? Could you stand being with him JUST BECAUSE you are the mother of his child - and that's all he's there for you for? How long could that go on for do you think? How long could YOU have been happy in that situation for - knowing your guy was only with you because he'd got you pregnant and not because he truly loves you? Sweetheart - I can understand your hurt and pain to realise that after thinking this guy was your all - he upped and left just when you needed him most. But hey - take this experience from an oldie - you having his baby - would never never change his feelings for you! If anything it may make him resent you in the long run. Yep! I agree that he should have thought about all of that beforehand - and maybe he didn't. Maybe he behaved in such a way that you really believed he loved you-. If that's the case and he tricked you in any way - then you're better off without him aren't you? Hopefully he is the kind of man who will want to have some kind of relationship with his child. If he is - then that may be the way to go. If he's totally out of the picture - then you will be free to make your decisions in the future around your baby. I hope this helps Catcai. MC

You can be victorious by limiting the effect he has on your new life. Don't dwell on him, sweetie. I'm sure this is easier said than done when you are carrying a child of his in your womb, so do know I understand that. Revenge won't make you feel any better about being left, and yes, it must suck to have to be pregnant with no support. What you CAN do, is get your papers in order for child support so that as soon as the babies born you can be assured this a$$hole is at least financially responsible for his child. Secondly, you can file for full custody so that he can't take your baby, thus limiting his influence over your child. (assuming he isn't a good guy, and assuming he won't be a good parent). Just be responsible and try your best to allow this experience to make you strong. Relish your pregnancy, and the fact that you're going to be the best mom! F him. As soon as you have your child and are happily back into the swing of your life, getting those checks in the mail for child support and enjoying your new life with baby, start dating again and find happiness and love with someone who is worth it! Nothing, revenge or otherwise, feels nearly so sweet as truly liking yourself and being happy and in love with your life. Good luck! And when he sees you, radiant and healthy and happy and glowing... there's your revenge. Only then, you won't care about revenge because you will have risen above it.

catcai, I was in this situation when I had my first child in 1995. I wanted to make his life miserable also, but instead I just walked away. My victory is knowing that he missed out on an incredible opportunity to see his child grow up, he missed the joy of first steps, first words, first day of school, all the important milestones that bring so much happiness to a parent. Although sometimes it may seem like he's hurting you, in reality he's hurting himself. If he opts not to be involved with this child there will come a day when he's older and wonders what happened to the life he helped create and he'll never know. That to me is revenge in itself. Good luck to you!

Your victory is in keeping your self respect and dignity by never stooping to his level. Then when you give birth to your child, you'll realize that although it's hard work, you really don't need him anymore. When your child is older and you see the job you did, you can be proud of bringing up your child to have values and respect for others. That is victory. I wish you well.

we have the same experience gurl.i was 18 then and the worst part of it my parents blame me bec.my ex left me.w/out the support of my parents i raised my child alone luckily i found another guy.we fell in love and we decided to get married.my ex found out about it.his friend told me that my ex still loves me and wants me back.that he was just confused before thats why he left us.i just laugh it out and told him that,the thing bet.us is over.im happy w/my life now.after the convesation w/his friend i found out that he left the town bec.he cant accept the fact that he couldnt see his child and im happily married.now its our 7th year w/my husband and my 8th year w/out my ex.

For you to be victorious in that situation I think it'd be to do wonderfully without him. To be HAPPY without him. Because he doesn't deserve your time of day, you see..taking revenge on him'd be like taking a revenge on earthworms for existing lol. I'm not saying he's faultless, I'm saying he's one of the lowest creatures on the earth for trating you that way..and how to higher, wiser beings treat lower ones? They ignore them. :) I wish you luck, hun.

your story is as catching as your caption. :-) i feel sad when i hear story like this, because i can feel the dilemma as a lady/woman, though i havent experienced your situation. if i were on your side, id wish for sweet vengeance too. however, i think the guy is worthless of your energy and emotion. its so easy to say, that you just live on with your life with your baby, but it may help you. invest on more positive ways for you and your baby. Godbless :-)

Haha! Girl, I understand you perfectly... You can have the victory in a easy form, show him that you are better than he! Show him you are happyer than he! Meet another guy, more interesting, more handsome... and show to the other guy what happy you can be without his company. Revenge is sweet, victory is sweeter... but the victory in the revenge is the sweetest thing!!! MUAHAHAHA

I think that if we set an example for someone instead of reveng than i will be better and as well as its our victory and u should enjoy it.

so you plan also to Kill Bill. hehehe! we plan revenge because we were out of our mind. we're angry and we feel no mercy for what had done wrong to us. your friend is right. maybe your revenge will make you happy in the end but think of something that will make you happier than revenge. your friend is telling you to keep yourself intact. revenge doens't help when your baby comes out. you should focus in your pregnancy. keep yourself okay everyday. in the end, you'll gonna get out of that mess and everything will be alright soon. let your boyfriend suffer the guilt of denying you and your baby. he'll soon realize that

NICE way............................ if everyone things of this way, then there will be no war and no terrorists,.......