Newbies with no discussions, requesting to be friends, do you accept them?
By gapeach65
@gapeach65 (805)
United States
March 21, 2007 6:55am CST
When someone has requested to be your friend, and you see that they are new and have no discussions started or replied to, do you accept or approve them? I have to admit that I am hesitant to approve someone with no discussions at all. Sometimes they may have a large list of friends already, so I try to see if maybe they have asked because we have friends in common, usually that's not the case though. I have gotten quite a few requests like this lately and I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to be mean, but I worry about the people who are not participating in discussions but wanting a huge list of friends, I just don't understand why. I usually wait a few days and check again to see if they have discussions, if not I usually won't approve them. I hope I'm not hurting anyone's feelings.
11 people like this
45 responses
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I tend to check to see what sorts of discussions they are either 1) starting or 2) responding to. I tend to accept people as friends who have something in common with me. It may seem rude, but I also look at their grammar and spelling--I'll give someone a bit of a chance if it is obvious English is not their first language, but if it's just chat speak or slang, I don't bother with them. I don't really worry about hurting their feelings--to me this is not a popularity contest.
5 people like this
@honeyangel (1991)
•
21 Mar 07
i would as everyone has to biuld up friends and if i dont like what their posting then i can allways delet,we were all newbies at one time
4 people like this
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
Yes, i agree with you, in some point of our lives we have been newbies, even in our families. It is not easy to be a newbie, anywhere. If they still haven't started anything yet, may be they just don't have something to say or discuss on others issue. May be they are just happy to read others discussions, to read your discussions and from there, they want to be your friend.Or maybe they know they can learn from you, your experiences and insights.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I don't approve them any more. I do have on my profile a message that I will not approve friends requests of anyone who has not responded to at least one of my discussions. How can I know if I want to be friends with someone if I know nothing about them. Ok, there have been a few occasions where I've approved a friendship and they haven't responded to one of my discussions but they are rare and few and far between - If I see that have posted discussions I find interesting, give me an idea of what type of responses they give or discussions they respond to then if I'm really impressed I might. I do take my "friends' seriously and have I think made some really good ones on myLot but I do not like the idea of my face being shown on someone's profile that is in total disagreement with everything I stand for.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
21 Mar 07
LOL - I should add, I am so serious about not approving friend requests who have (0) by their name last week my own daughter signed with mylot and requested a friendship. In a rush I didn't look at the picture, just the (0) and denied her - my own daughter :( I did figure out what I did and she's on my list now :)
2 people like this
@gapeach65 (805)
• United States
21 Mar 07
That's just too funny, guess you did get in a little hurry, hope she wasn't too upset. =)
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Oh no, she didn't get upset - after all, she's known me for 21 years and knows I'm always going 90 miles an hour in 100 different directions. Plus, she did not follow my instructions - I told her if she signed up to spend some time responding to discussions FIRST then post a discussion. Instead she jumped in and posted 5 or 6 discussions and had a horrible time getting any responses because she didn't have any friends or responses to others.. she learned :) Mother is always right!
2 people like this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
Approving friends is a prerogative and you are just being more discriminating and I think there is really nothing wrong with that. Though some may feel bad by being denied but you have your own reasons and as it is, you could not always please everybody. I have lots of friends in my list that don't respond to my discussions but I respond to a lot of theirs. I have learned to be discriminating too and just respond to a few of their discussions that really interests me. Friends here is a form of support group and help each other earn and grow in this site.
@beaniegdi (1964)
•
21 Mar 07
To be honest I have accepted every one that has requested, I cannot see why not but maybe something will happen to change my mind.
4 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
21 Mar 07
Why not? I accept all my friend requests. Maybe I am just a very nice guy haha. :P
Let me give you an example. In real life, it would be like a small boy approaching you to ask if he can be your friend. Will you reject him just because he is 10, 20, 30, 50 years younger than you? Then serve you right for having no one to keep you company when you are old! :PP
@gapeach65 (805)
• United States
21 Mar 07
That's just it though, in real life, you might know the person, and maybe have some idea why they want to be friends. I'm asking about people who don't seem to have any connection to you at all, it looks like some of them register on mylot, then just go to the discussions area and just start asking people to be their friends. Some times I check their profile after a few days and they still have no discussions, I guess I'm worried about spammers, I've heard there are some on this site.
@dexterous21 (1180)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
I approve them because I might be of help for them to earn and to start a discussion too somehow. We are in a community that we need everyones help so I don't need to be hesitant to approve their request.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I have accepted everyone so far and have not had a problem yet. That is what the delete button is for. Then I would email them first and then delete so that they would know, if it is important to them, why I did so. Much less effort to approve and let it work itself out. My friends are all set to Notify On and so they keep me busy and that is what I look for. I have learned from my varied friends. Good luck with yours.
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I agree. I go check their profile. If I see their only interest is making money, I've started declining them. I'm not here for JUST the money, (I only made .33 yesterday) but to discuss things. I figure if I'm going to get on line & yak with people, I might as well get my two cents worth - so to speak.
1 person likes this
@Sicantik (706)
•
22 Mar 07
I will actually I really don't mind about it. Because I can always see later on what kind of person he/she is when he/she start a discussion. And you never know he/she might start very nice discussion and you could really enjoy the friendship in the end. And anyway if the person turn out to be different than you thing you can always delete them from your friend list...xxx
1 person likes this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
22 Mar 07
I will approve 99% of the request from other members,no matter they are new and withot any discussion or not, I know it is important to help those new members because I had same feeling when I joined mylot at the beginning. I will try to add them and give reply to them so that they can start up easier.
@joanana (770)
• United States
22 Mar 07
Why should I? I only add people who I know off of mylot or whose discussions I frequent as friends. If they've got no discussions and no responses why should I add them? It's a waste and pointless to me because they're clearly just trying to pad their friends list and I want no part of that.
@bhu_bhuvaneshwari (164)
• India
22 Mar 07
there is nothing wrong in having friends. Maybe these people are more interested in makeing new friends. incase you do not add them then they wouldn't be interested in participating your discussions so i normally add anyone who sends a request and if things dont work out then you can always delete them
@sweetlady10 (3611)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I don't accept people with 0 post either. How will I know what kind of interest the are having if they don't post anything. I don't understand why they need friend before posting anything. May be this kind of people want to send people referral link in private message, so they need friends.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
22 Mar 07
I will approve newbies, if their profile looks okay. I feel as though they have to be given a chance.
It is easy to delete frriends later, if that becomes necessary.
@earnwhilelearn (269)
• India
22 Mar 07
Yeah for sure, after evryone is new to newbies, they need support from experienced people. I never deny friend requests who ever it is. I try to communicate with them if they need any help regarding the same. By the way you do not have to lose anything if you accept them as your friend.
